Dress Down Moms

This blog has moved

2010-04-16T08:33:00.001-04:00

This blog is now located at http://dressdownmoms.blogspot.com/.
You will be automatically redirected in 30 seconds, or you may click here.

For feed subscribers, please update your feed subscriptions to
http://dressdownmoms.blogspot.com/feeds/posts/default.

Taking a break

2010-04-06T20:21:00.003-04:00

It is April and we have just finished with Spark Plug's 4th birthday and Easter with family. It was busy but great to have everyone here. We are getting ready for another move this month which will have me cleaning, painting and packing.

I am writing today to thank everyone for reading this blog for the past 2 years. It has been so much fun writing. I am not done with writing but I am going to take a break from the blog for a while. I am finding it difficult to keep up with and am preoccupied with the Wee Ladies on a daily basis. As they grow, they are becoming very good at insisting the minutes are filled with all sorts of things throughout the day. There are no more naps. There is a lot of running around after them and then by the end of the day and I ready to pass out and it is not because I drank too much.

I will continue to write the Who's DDM each month and will also be catching up on some reviews. I will also be adding to those as well. So there will still be some activity, just not a regular blog.

I hope that this site has provided a few laughs and a few sighs of relief. This mom gig has made for a crazy existence and it is nice to know that there are other people going through the same things.

Thanks for all of your support. The site will remain open, just with inconsistent postings.

All's I'm sayin's all.

Nothing Says I Love You Like a Good Cake Topper

2010-03-29T20:39:00.004-04:00

Auntie Lisa is getting married in June to a great guy. This past weekend was their co-ed shower that the bridesmaids hosted for them. The theme was Build-A-Bar. It worked out well. Mamacita was there and it was awesome to hang out with her and her Hubby.

Before the shower I had a chance to go with Auntie Lisa to get my bridesmaid dress at this bridal shop. And boy, did we see some good stuff. It was the cake toppers that caught my attention.

Hubby and I didn't have a cake topper but I am regretting that now. There are some good ones out there. The best part is that you can buy keepsake-like frames for these things and have the cake topper on one side and a photo of the lovely couple on the other. Amazing. It totally cries out, put me on the table with the Molson Export coasters!

Here are a couple of examples of what we saw in person. I think I am going to wrap one up for the bride and groom because to me, it is not a complete wedding unless you have one of these cake toppers.

The first one is the Run to the Altar. Jeez, I can't tell if she is pulling him or if he is trying to drag her away from it.

This next one tells all of the guests what they will be doing after the cash bar shuts down.

This one below is great for the corporate couple. Life is dictated by Blackberries and iPhones now, so isn't this just an insight into the love of the newly married couple? Doesn't it just scream, I am so into you, Baby and you mean everything to me. I'm sorry, did you say something? Well, just text it to me.

How about this- I Am Hooked On You. Awesome. He clearly is loving this whole marriage gig. She has to use the fishing rod that he uses with his buddies on the weekends to snag him and keep him. What would happen if she threw him back? Oh, but I know. He is a good catch. Isn't she so lucky to have such a great guy? Everyone warned him....

Again, another one where it is the bride trying with all her might to keep her man tied down. Like Indiana Jones, she ropes him into marrying her all cowgirl lasso styles. Tie him down, honey! He's a keeper!

Now this is more like it! A strong woman who knows self-defense! Finally, someone who can beat the crap out of her man on their wedding day after she tracks him down at the local motel when he neglected to show up at the wedding ceremony! She gives this to her husband-to-be before the wedding as a way to say, Don't mess with the bull, or you will get the horns. I can mess you up if you mess this up. Or is she dragging him to the altar? I wonder...

And this last one is my personal favourite. This is the woman standing beside her man as a symbol of unity and solidarity. She is tolerant and patient and willing to let him pursue his interest of eating Doritos on the couch while watching TV. How nice of her. How understanding. He sits on the recliner with his remote control and his snack beside him. Here's the best part. When you see this cake topper in person in all of its magnificence, the TV screen reads, no word of a lie, GAME OVER. There is no hidden message about the course of this relationship.

I would like to know unit sales on theses things. Are they used as a joke or as a telling statement about the couple? All I know is that I feel like I have been robbed of something that could have made our day so much more meaningful and that our guests could have learned some more about who we are as a couple. I would have gone for this one.

GAME ON.

All's I'm sayin's all.

Playing like a kid again

2010-03-23T20:28:00.003-04:00

Playing with the Wee Ladies over March Break and blowing alphorns. That is what has been going on over here.

March Break was busy and fun. The Wee Ladies and I spent good quality time on the slopes and playing outside in the spring-like weather. We went to visit Uncle Paul and Aunt Nancy for a night and EvieG had a sleepover with her cousin. We stopped to have lunch with Nenny With Twins and Auntie Missy and all their kids.

It always seems like the perfect idea to take the lot of them away. There is always a scheduled plan. It was great and I am happy we went. It was a good change of scenery and we were thrilled to spend some time with family. But what was possibly going to be two nights was shortened to one.

They get all out of sorts, the Wee Ladies. To bed late, up early, busy, and in need of entertainment. It just wears me out. They were great but there was no way they could have handled more than one late night or else the rest of the break would have been a write-off. They were in high gear the whole time, as was I. It is always nice to get back to your own space because whenever you go away, you are always conscious of the potential spill, rip, break, smash, or fall. We were lucky that the only thing that went wrong was that I lost my watch. The Destroyer took it somewhere in the house and it cannot be found. Oh and also our Wee Westie kept peeing on their kitchen floor to mark his territory.

We returned home to finish the week off with some more spring skiing. It was great and Hubby got to come and watch the Wee Ladies head straight down. It was so warm that we didn't wear jackets or mittens.

This past weekend 13 of us gathered at a local restaurant to celebrate my birthday along with another friend. It was a night that proved I still have it in me. I can still party like I did when I was a teenager. I added to my beer passport and was in fine form. I finished the night by blowing the alphorn, having sanitized it first because we all know that moms cannot afford to get sick. I made up for any lost party time, that is for sure. And Nenny With Twins was there to witness it all. The debauchery was witnessed. And by Auntie Lisa too. It felt good to let loose. So good. And as I said to Nenny With Twins when she asked how I was feeling at the end of the night as I fell into bed in the hotel (yes, I crashed at the hotel with her while Hubby went on home to mind the Wee Ladies), I was AWESOME! Just like DJ Lance Rock says, only I was done with my dancing that night.

We have been having a lot of fun lately and I apologize for not updating more regularly. But here I am now and I share some of the craziness that has been the last while.

Here I am sanitizing the alphorn.

And here I am blowing the alphorn with all my might.

All's I'm sayin's all.

PS I wore my More Cowbell t-shirt which was perfectly appropriate for this place and also my high school party jeans. This past summer, a dear friend gave me the patched jeans of hers that I always wore to parties back in the day. They didn't fit last summer but they do now! I couldn't believe I fit into my high school party jeans. And so I wore them again with pride and added another party story to the already frayed patches.

No running in the gym!

2010-03-10T20:03:00.005-05:00

The Destroyer is speedy, agile, and unpredictable. She has taken to bolting on me when we are out. I am drilling home the rule that she needs to stay with me at all times.

We were at the Y and she bolted into through the automatic double doors, heading straight for the counter where she presents her card to the staff to be zapped. The Destroyer has entered the building. Spark Plug is often right in there with her and they taunt each other. They race around like Shriners in a local small town parade.

As we were leaving, I was preoccupied talking to another mom. All of a sudden I see The Destroyer take off with Spark Plug not far behind. Around the corner they went, exiting my line of vision. I excused myself and went to find them. They had already left the building and were standing out on the sidewalk beside the busy parking lot. A stern talking to followed as I tried to make clear that it is not safe to bolt.

The Destroyer's way of telling me she understands something is by looking me squarely in the eye, pointing her index finger at my nose and declaring, "No runeen in de gym." This is the rule at nursery school except I think she means no running in the classroom. Who ever heard of the no running in the gym rule? Isn't that going against what the gym is for? I just agreed with her. No running in the gym and no running from mom. Capiche?

And then it happened again today, although they did not make it as far as the parking lot. They just did a few circles around me in the change room and then let themselves out into the foyer area where they continued chasing each other like a dog chases its tail. All eyes were on the crazy girls without proper adult supervision. I called to them and again for the 80th time in a day told them to stay with me. The Destroyer looked at me and said, "No runeen in de gym!" And it is always with a very sly, mischievous smile.

I am forever ushering them places. And if I don't send them on their way, they are lagging behind me. Walking along the main drag in town it is usually me followed by what I call my three little ducklings. They are all meandering across the wide sidewalk in all directions with me in the lead. I keep telling them to stay with mom and don't pick up the cigarette butt or empty coffee cup.

So The Destroyer has no mid-range speed. She is either absurdly slow, or has gone from first to sixth in mere seconds and runs at speeds a cheetah would have a hard time keeping up with.

There is no middle ground with The Destroyer. And there will never be.

All's I'm sayin's all.

PS Click here for this month's Who's DDM!

I completely dated myself

2010-03-05T19:11:00.003-05:00

It has been a very busy week and the weekend is upon us. We have been running around all over the place and enjoying the weather and outdoors. On Wednesday I had to take Spark Plug for a follow up appointment in a town an hour away. Everything went well and on the way out of town we stopped for a treat.

This town is where her pediatrician is located but it is a town I know moderately well. I used to drive through all the time as a teenager and had a good friend who lived there. That friend and I used to make the same stop at a local produce store every time we went through town. And on Wednesday, I took the Wee Ladies to the same store to take a walk down memory lane.

This store had THE BEST chocolate chunk cookies. And also had the freshly squeezed orange juice. We used to buy the cookies by the container and inhale them all in one sitting. We had one container each, I think. They were chewy and chunky and homemade. They were amazing. Well, I guess they were because I still have a craving for them almost 20 years later.

I wanted the Wee Ladies to share these delectable treats with me. So after the appointment, we made the stop.

What I didn't really think about was that, as I mentioned, my last visit was almost 20 years ago. This obviously meant nothing to me. And the guy behind the bakery counter was very cordial as he tried to contain his laughter. In my face.

I took the Wee Ladies straight to the baked goods section. I searched for the same containers from 2 decades ago. To no avail, I went to the counter and quickly scanned behind the glass. And there they were. Big chocolate chunk cookies. The chunks looked kind of small from what I remembered but they still looked yummy. The guy came over and asked me what I would like. I went into this long speech about how when the last time I was there, I ordered these same cookies and that they are so good and did he know if the recipe was still the same as 1992?

Blank.

Crap. He was probably just a speck in his mommy's ovary at that time.

He politely replied with, "I'm not sure. I wasn't here then."

Of course you weren't. Jeez.

I asked for a half dozen and he went back into the kitchen and started bagging them. Fresh out of the oven. I was standing there beaming and doing jumpy claps. He must have thought that I was the strangest old mom ever.

And then I asked him to direct me towards the freshly squeezed orange juice and asked if in fact the store still carried that because Zehrs got rid of it in about 2001. He for sure thought I was the weirdest mom ever.

I left a happy mom. And I had happy Wee Ladies as the three of us (EvieG was at school) sat in the van and devoured half of the half dozen.

It was just like I remembered and even though I completely dated myself, it was worth every chocolaty, chunky second. Washed down with pulpy orange juice.

All's I'm sayin's all.

PS Sorry there were no posts this week until now.

2am family trip to the hospital

2010-02-24T20:06:00.005-05:00

I always wondered what it would be like if we had to get the kids out of bed in the middle of the night. Sometimes I plan for various scenarios, like fire escape routes and hospital emergencies. I feel that it is always good to be somewhat prepared for things, even though you never know how you will react until you are in it.

Early Monday morning, I was sleeping soundly after a whirlwind trip to Toronto over the weekend. I was suddenly startled out of my sleep at 2 am by Hubby who was in the fetal position on the bathroom floor, moaning like an injured animal. I asked him to describe his injury (I have clearly done a CPR refresher course). I quickly assessed his situation and listened as he described to me what was happening in between his gasping breaths.

Did I need to call 911? For $5o0, I think not.

I got the Wee Ladies up and dressed. We piled them into the van. Hubby searched for and found his health card. I got him some water and we left for the Emergency department.

Hubby has had some gallbladder issues in the past. We feared that this was another attack even though I couldn't for the life of me figure out what was so fatty about black bean soup, roasted chicken, and veggies. But just to be safe, we thought it necessary to take him in given he had spiked a fever and was hunched over in pain.

We stopped at the drive-thru bank machine on the way because I was going to drop him off at the front doors and keep going. He could call a cab to get him home. Plus, there was no way I was waiting around the germ infested hospital with the Wee Ladies.

He got in pretty quickly and was given a requisition form for an ultrasound and then some Tylenol 3's on the side, for good measure. He returned home and went to bed.

Hubby was out for the count the entire next day. No food, or water. Just some Gatorade later in the day and then as he began to mend he finished the day off with some cereal.

The medical web sites that I checked out all said the same thing for gallbladder attacks. Pain in the upper right abdomen, throwing up, nausea. Well, he had a fever, no appetite, and other stuff that is too graphic to describe here. I suspected that his gallbladder attack, which he definitely has had before was none other than a bad gastrointestinal flu. It's been going around.

He bounced out of bed the next day ready to take on the world after sleeping for about 24 hours straight. We are almost certain that he had the flu, but not 100% sure and so I will make sure he gets his ultrasound.

Of course I have been living this whole week in fear of the Wee Ladies and I contracting this nasty bug. I have been disinfecting, washing towels and linens non-stop. I have stocked up our food supply. I am one step away from batteries, flashlights, and jugs of water. So far, so good. By now you would think we would have been sick. Fingers crossed.

And if I get this thing, what happens? Do I get to sleep for 24 hours? Do I get to take time off from the kids and house? Hubby has to work and there are no other options. Do men get it easier than us moms when they fall ill?

Hubby called me on his way to work this morning. He was listening to the local news and it was saying how the entire ground floor of the hospital has been closed off because of an outbreak of a gastro bug. I told him, way to go. I am glad he took that bug somewhere else other than this house.

All's I'm sayin's all.

DDM and an Olympian

2010-02-19T13:59:00.003-05:00

We had Family Day this past Monday, a provincial holiday where it was a long weekend. Hubby's work hosted a free family skate at a local arena and we went along for some family support. It turned out to be very exciting for all of us.

RBC is an official sponsor of the Olympics. The group had an area set up for draws, prizes, and a meet and greet with a past Olympian. There was also an official Olympic torch and photo opportunities. It was really exciting with all the buzz around the room.

EvieG held the torch first. She was jumping with excitement and we had to get her settled down in order to hold the torch properly without dropping it. We got her picture taken and she even made it into one of the local newspapers. We also had a nice family photo taken with the torch which was wonderful and one that I will frame as it serves as a great memory for these Vancouver Olympics. I then had my picture taken with the torch and the visiting Olympian. His name is Rowan Barrett and he was the captain of the Canadian basketball team at the 2000 Sydney Olympic games. He was lovely to talk to and was very gracious. Here is the photo of us below:

I was thrilled about all of this. The torch is beautiful and it was really amazing to hold it. I can only imagine how pumped the torch bearers must have been in their moment with it.

It was a memorable Family Day and we enjoyed skating with the Wee Ladies. They had a blast and for EvieG and I it was especially memorable having the opportunity to hold the torch.

The day would not have been complete without real deep fried arena fries spritzed in white vinegar from the plastic spray bottle and drowned in ketchup from the jumbo pump. Mini double pronged wooden fork included.

All's I'm sayin's all.

Soap in the mouth

2010-02-17T21:16:00.005-05:00

When I was a sassy 6 year old my parents thought it would be a good idea to travel to New Zealand for 3 weeks and leave my brothers and I with the lovely old lady who babysat us at the curling club. Living with this plump, rosy cheeked woman with the tight white curls that only the good overnight rollers could pull off was easy at first. And then we came to a head. She broke my baby doll that snuggled in when you pulled the string in her back. I was immediately full of disdain which quickly changed to sheer fear.

We always loved having her babysit us because she gave us Peak Frean Fruit Cremes and apple drink. You know the simulated apple beverage that had a tangy taste and was nothing like Allen's apple juice in a can. Once the stuff traveled through your bloodstream there was no escaping it and I can still taste it 3 decades later (as a sidebar, Nenny with Twins and I made a run to the grocery store in university and found us some good No Name apple drink for old times sake).

But then she came to stay.

There was one night after dinner when my brothers and I were fired up and horsing around. I had this cute little baby doll in a purple sleeper. It had a cute tuft of hair on top. I would pull the cord in her back and her head would would make a slow circular motion as if it was cuddling into you.

The babysitter must have had her curlers in too long and too tight because she was done with our shenanigans and was trying to get us ready for bed. That was when she leaned over me and grabbed my baby doll from me, telling me to march straight upstairs to get in my PJs or the doll was hers for the night. Just as she grabbed the head of the doll, I heard a popping sound. I took the doll from her wrinkled hands and gasped in horror as her head was hanging by the collar of her sleeper. I pulled the cord only to get a shuddering noise and jerking movement. The doll was destroyed and I was shattered.

The nasty babysitter stuck to her guns and insisted I follow through with the bed time routine. A battle ensued. I accused her of breaking the toy. She said we would fix it. I said it was broken for good and she didn't even apologize. This angered me even more. She told me to get into the bathroom to brush my teeth and I told her to Bleep Off. Yes I used the F-Bomb on her. At age 6.

She gave me a good brushing.

She grabbed my arm and lead me upstairs to the bathroom. She sat me up on the counter and turned on the tap. At this point I knew she was mad but wasn't expecting to get what was coming to me.

I got my mouth washed out with soap. For real.

Without a word she took the bar of Ivory and saturated a cloth that I assumed she was going to use to clean my face, or in between my toes. The next thing I knew, that soapy cloth was in my mouth and it was getting rid of all the bad words it could find. I almost threw up from gagging. She cleaned it out and said, "That will teach you never to speak like that again." By this point I was bawling and really wanting my mom and dad to come home to save me from this wretched woman. The end of this 'holiday' couldn't come any faster. I remember the lingering effects of the soap in my mouth and the stinging in my throat. Every time I smell Ivory, I can still taste it. That and Jack Daniels, but that is a whole other story, unlike the apple drink one. Needless to say, I spent the rest of that time in my life avoiding her at all cost and obeying the rules as I had to in order to survive.

I was never happier to see my parents when they returned home with my new stuffed koala bear and kiwi bird pin. Oh, and my Pet Rock.

The point of all of this is that I will never have to wash out the mouth of The Destroyer. She did it to herself today and the moment she came to me wreaking of vanilla anti-bacterial foam soap with her tongue hanging out and whimpering while demanding a drink of water took me back to that time. I laughed at her as I thought to myself about how I could use this to my benefit.

And so the first time she tries to swear at me I will remind her about the time she ate the soap and I would be pretty darn sure that she wouldn't want that in her mouth again.

I love it when the disciplining is done for me and all I have to do is make them think about it.

All's I'm sayin's all.

PS The nasty babysitter and I eventually made up and in then end I remember her as the lady who used to take care of us. Old school styles.

Luge tragedy overexposed by media

2010-02-13T11:45:00.007-05:00

The Olympics have begun and for us Canadians it is especially exciting to host the events on home soil. The Opening Ceremonies kicked things off last night and it was a proud time for many. Things did begin on a somber note with the death of Georgian luger Nodar Kumaritashvili. His accident is such a tragedy and our hats go off to him, his family, and teammates.

If only some of the media gave them the respect they deserve during this time by not broadcasting complete footage of the accident.

As I was running on the treadmill last night, I had my iPod on and was listening to my play list. I also had CTV on the TV screen in front of me. I had the captioning on so I could read the news. I was half paying attention. As I was working on my speed, out of breath, I realized that without warning I was witnessing this horrific footage. I saw the luger on the track, flying off the track, hitting the pole, and laying lifelessly. It happened so quickly. My stomach turned. I grabbed on to the side of the treadmill. I slowed down to a walk. I felt ill. I looked around and noticed a couple other shocked runners. A moment later, I looked at the screen again and there it was again! On replay! I was disgusted. Mortified. I turned off the TV.

I could not believe that Canadian programming would show this footage. It was tasteless and absolutely unnecessary. It is a complete disrespect to Nodar and his family. It is also extremely unCanadian. Here it was, a couple of hours before the Opening Ceremonies where families, especially children, across the country would be sitting anxiously and excitedly waiting for things to get rolling only to become witness to this accident. Unacceptable.

It is one thing to discuss the accident and what went wrong. It is one thing to talk about track safety and precautions. But it is a whole other issue to overexpose the end of this talented life for dramatic purposes. Those images are not news-worthy.

I walked in the door and saw Hubby on the couch with EvieG. He looked just as disturbed as I did. He knew there were disturbing images and there was a quick warning apparently of graphic footage but he didn't realize that it would be a complete replay. I had called him on the way home warning him. He had enough time to put a cushion over EvieG's eyes. We still had to discuss with her what had happened and why we were so upset. She had a lot of questions.

I wrote an email to CTV programming communicating my disgust with their decision to air this tragedy. I know that other networks opted not to. Good for them. I am surprised that one of our main media outlets decided to go ahead with it. I am so disappointed.

Here is my email. I wrote it quickly but I think it got to the point. My heart goes out to Nodar's family and I wish them well along with the rest of the Republic of Georgia's Olympic team.

To Whom It May Concern,

The tragedy that occurred today on the luge track is one that does not need to be televised repeatedly. I was not expecting to witness a fatality like that, let alone the replay. As my family and I sit excitedly waiting for the opening ceremonies to begin we have fallen witness to this horrific accident and now we are having to explain to our 6 year old what happened. It just didn't need to be exposed. There is no need for that footage.

This programming is during family time with thousands, possibly millions waiting for the opening ceremonies to begin. There are children watching this. And to have this moment in someone's life put up there for all to see over and over is distasteful and disrespectful to both the individual and his family.

It is one thing to discuss improving the track safety and discuss what went wrong with the run, but to overexpose the end of a life is disgusting. You should be ashamed.

What is worse that as a mother, if that were my child, I would not be able to stomach that. I had a very hard time seeing that. I hope for his family's sake that they don't see it.

All's I'm sayin's all.

What happens when the snacks run out?

2010-02-10T21:01:00.007-05:00

Why is it that every time I am left alone for any length of time one or more of the Wee Ladies falls ill? Hubby is gone for the entire week and there is sick in the house. Myself included.

It is a vicious cycle when you are stuck at home caring for sick ones. You feel like crap, you are housebound and you eat. And then you do it all over again until you are able to escape the monotony of illness. There is nothing more you can do except clean using bleach and eat the bag of chocolate chips you bought for the cookies you were planning to bake with the healthy kids.

There is hacking at night, whining, and a bed invasion. By the morning you are crusted around your facial orfuses and the bags are swollen and a nice shade of gray. You slag through the day and end up making phone calls in between letting the toilet soak in cleaner and the sink absorb the Javex. The kids are glued in front of their second movie so it becomes the perfect time to mop the floor knowing you are guaranteed a footprint free wet floor this time. In order to entice a kid to eat some calories the day turns into one of KD at lunch and pancakes for dinner with Gatorade as a snack just as an attempt to get some electrolytes into a child.

And there is major parental snacking. Snacking out of housebound boredom. Nowhere to go, not even outside to play because sick kids don't want to play. No errands to run because sick kids are not welcome in public. No visits or trips to the Y because that is an automatic pass for the parental blacklist. What is one to do? Eat. Whatever is there. If there is nothing, improvise and make a batch of muffins using the raisins that you rediscover at the back of the pantry because you already ate the chocolate chips.

And by then end of the day, you are exhausted. Exhausted from all that you accomplished. Tired from hacking, whining kids and all that busy work.

But mostly from the snacking. And just when you think you are ready to call it quits for a few hours until the night time action begins, you have to head into the kitchen to clean up the salt crusted popcorn pot. And prepare yourself to do it all over again tomorrow.

I feel like I'm a teenager grounded from the outside world for a few days.

Where is my errand Gofer? But what happens when there is no more snack food? Will I resort to the old dried apricots?

All's I'm sayin's all.

Grandpa-Up-In-Heaven

2010-02-05T13:02:00.007-05:00

It has been 14 years since the passing of my Dad, or Grandpa-Up-In-Heaven as the Wee Ladies know him. This day is always a tough one for my family and I as we think about how much we miss one of the strongest forces we have ever known.

I took the Wee Ladies out to a friend's place yesterday in the country where it is quiet with the exception of the chatty chickadees. The Wee Ladies stood around the bird feeders as the birds swooped and flew around our heads like acrobatic stunt planes. Their wings made the sound of buzzing propellers. It was so tranquil and peaceful and I think about those same moments I shared with my Dad.

We used to sit outside in the snow with sunflower seeds in our perched hands. He taught me how to be still. We would sit and wait a long time until the friendly chickadees would trust us enough to sit and take a meal from our hands or just whiz by and take a break on the top of our toques before setting off again for more dips and dives through the cedar trees.

This lesson goes far beyond feeding the birds. He taught me to how to be still at the right times so I would learn to appreciate what was around me. I learned how to stop and look around, listen and think clearly, thanks to him. This is something I try hard to instill in the Wee Ladies, especially EvieG. Patience is something I value highly in life and sometimes I feel like patience rules Hubby and I as we settle into our new life here and wait for projects and jobs to take shape.

I firmly believe everything happens for a reason as tough as some of those things may be.

As time marches on, I feel myself growing into him more as I hear him loud and clear in my own voice when talking to the Wee Ladies. I hear myself repeating things he told me, or sharing views that he shared with me. I am teaching the Wee Ladies in the same way he taught me. We go out and follow the deer tracks and talk about it as we go. We stop along the way and listen to the wind race through the branches in the woods. We talk about nature as we see it.

14 years may have passed but I still feel like his influence is just as strong as it was when he was here in real time. I will share things about him with the Wee Ladies so that they feel as if they have some connection with my father, their grandfather. I will tell them what he would think or even what he might say about a particular subject.

He was a strong force in our lives. He still is. And he continues to be an important force in the lives of the Wee Ladies.

All's I'm sayin's all.

PS February's Who's DDM is up! You can click here to go and check it out. Have a good weekend!

A Spring Olympics for EvieG

2010-02-03T10:39:00.002-05:00

While driving home last night from EvieG's choir practice, she began to ask questions about the timing of the Olympics. Generally, she is a kid of order and can't quite wrap her head around her perceived gaps in the order of things.

EvieG: Mom, when is the next winter Olympics going to be?

DDM: Well, 4 years from now. There is a Winter Olympics, then a Summer Olympics in 2 years, and then 2 more years after that is the Winter Olympics again. They take turns every 2 years.

EvieG: Oh. But why don't they have it every year?

DDM: You know, it takes a lot of time and money to plan for all of the events and for all of the athletes to train (just guessing here, not an Olympic expert).

EvieG: But why don't they have Spring and Fall Olympics?

DDM: Well, they group the sports into the ones you do in the winter time like skiing, skating, and hockey and the ones you do in the summer, like running, swimming, and rowing.

EvieG: I think they should have Olympics every season. I know what I would do for the Spring Olympics.

DDM: Oh ya? What's that?

EvieG: Watching the rain fall.

I burst out laughing. I explained that watching the rain is sometimes about all you can do in the Spring on certain days.

And where is the sport in that? Lifting the remote control.

All's I'm sayin's all.

Karaoke and birthday fun

2010-02-01T21:04:00.005-05:00

It was Hubby's birthday. He turned 35. Auntie Lisa and her fiance Paul came to visit and we had a fine time Saturday evening, Hubby especially.

We started with a cocktail at our place followed by some Thai food and then some simulated fun. We had some other friends with us and I am not sure what they thought of the lot of us carrying on the way we were.

The after dinner spot was a place that has simulated golf, the Wii, karaoke, a bar, and a pool table. Hubby and his boys went to shoot some golf balls at a screen while Auntie Lisa and I took the karaoke machine for a spin. I was overwhelmed by the selections. I didn't even know where to start. This was way better than singing in the van and I have been getting some decent mileage on my vocal cords lately with Sirius' Classic Vinyl station. We began with Holiday by Madonna, followed by some Mamma Mia, Sweet Caroline, Mr. Brightside, Peace Train, Wind Beneath My Wings, and Wanted Dead or Alive. Quite a variety, really. I wondered why we were the only patrons left in the place. I heard Hubby howling in the back.

It was so much fun. I haven't done the karaoke thing since high school. And it is amazing how well you think you are singing after you have had a few cocktails. I thought I was better than Bette Midler. And in my mind, Brandon Flowers would have asked me to record a duet with him for sure.

By the end of our night (which was only 11) we had to call a cab. We tried for a half hour to get through to a cab company but the weekends are busy here in our town and no one was available. The owner of the bar asked to drive us home. There were too many of us and since we didn't live too far away, I offered to run.

It was one of the coldest nights of the winter to date, I had no hat and no mittens just because I was too excited leaving the house for the evening and forgot. The owner took our other friends home, the further distance. Auntie Lisa and Hubby held each other up all the way home and Paul and I ran. We ran. And I laughed the entire way. Guffawed. The hilarious thing was that we didn't even feel the cold. We ran by a couple all bundled up and they told us to keep warm. We hollered, "Doing that right now! Staying warm!" They were the ones catching our cold breeze as we blew by. I felt like I was in school again finding my way home after a night of debauchery. I haven't done that in a very long time.

We arrived safely and out of breath. Hubby and Auntie Lisa were a little bit behind us and Hubby had the money for the babysitter. Her parents were waiting for her and she left without her pay. I felt horrible. I dropped her money off in a sealed envelope at school this morning. I am sure the office staff are not used to cash transactions coming through the door for babysitters.

Hubby was in a world of hurt yesterday. But he did say that he had a great time. I am glad he did. He deserved a good night out. Even if it meant walking home comfortably numb in minus 25 degree weather.

All's I'm sayin's all.

It wasn't my debit card that I lost

2010-01-26T20:51:00.005-05:00

Sometimes I lose my mind. I leave it places which results in forgetting or losing all sorts of other things. Except the Wee Ladies. I have yet to forget or lose one of them. Actually, that is a lie. I lost Spark Plug last year. Click here for a refresher.

While I was in Toronto visiting Auntie Lisa back in December, I lost my debit card. This was nothing out of the ordinary. I had lost it before. I usually put it in my pocket and use as needed when I have the Wee Ladies with me. Taking my purse is risky. I would likely lose that too, so I simplify by reducing the chances of leaving my purse in a store and just take the card.

When I got home, I looked briefly in my purse. I did not see it sticking out of my wallet. I didn't see it in the zipped section with the lip gloss. And it wasn't mixed in with the gas and dry cleaning receipts. I searched my coat pockets. And my jeans that I had just removed from the washing machine. Nothing. Crap.

I took the second trip to the bank branch in the last 3 months. They hooked me up with another temporary card and I waited to get my new new shiny card.

It came and all was well for a while.

This past weekend I went to buy ski poles for EvieG because she is conquering all the big hills now. I used my debit card. DENIED. I tried again and selected the other account. DENIED. I was confused. I had just used it to buy a birthday gift for a friend of EvieG's. Freaking slightly, thinking someone has cleared me out of my last few dollars, I went home and told Hubby. Everything appeared normal online. I forgot about it, figuring it was just a glitch in the systems. I concluded it was something with the chip on the card.

I tried to make another purchase the following day. Again DENIED.

What?What?What?

This was getting humiliating. I was now that person the store clerks look at and think- She shouldn't be buying anything. She is maxed out. She has a spending problem. I felt my face turn red with embarrassment. Pull out the VISA again.

When I returned home, I immediately dialed up our customer service representative at the bank. They diligently looked into my problem, making sure there was no fraudulent activity on my card or at the last place I used it (the toy store?). They asked me a series of questions including my secret password, which I had forgotten. Typical.

Then he left the line for a couple of minutes. I waited patiently, folding underwear and matching socks. He came back and asked me to tell him some number at the bottom of my card, which I did. He then solved the mystery. He politely reminded me that I had reported a lost card. He went on to tell me that I received and activated a new one. I agreed with everything he was telling me. He then concluded that I had been trying to use my lost card.

I was using the lost card. The card that had been in my wallet the entire time. Right beside the new new one.

I had to call the bank to realize that I had lost my mind. Thanks to the guy at the bank for solving that problem for me.

All's I'm sayin's all.

Trinkets and Clutter Placed in Order

2010-01-25T20:49:00.005-05:00

Spark Plug is a pack-rat at the ripe old age of almost 4. There is stuff everywhere in her room and anywhere she collects her trinkets. She places her special pieces in their rightful spot. She knows exactly where everything is and belongs. And she even has her footwear ordered according to function.

She has photos lining her bedside table, along with her toothbrush which she refuses to keep among the others in the bathroom that belong to the rest of us plebes. She has flowers, fresh and fake, a self-decorated hand-held mirror, art work, and a piggy bank. There is a table cloth under it all to make it look authentic. A baby blanket is the surface on which all of these treasures rest.

She has her hot pink Tender Tootsies beside her bed. She also has her slippers that make noise for when she is feeling fancy. She then has her pair of 'nighttime slippers' which are Tinkerbell foot covers she got for Christmas and she puts them on as she tucks into bed each night. Downstairs she has her snow boots, of course. And her running shoes for the gymnasium at the Y. But also- her sparkly flip flops. She keeps these in her swim bag for the Y to wear to and from the pool.

This kid cracks me up. She knows exactly where and how she wants everything. She thinks about and executes her plans. She goes through my MIL's place and takes whatever she is allowed to take. After our last visit, Spark Plug came home with a giant plastic bag full of necklaces, framed photos, stuffed animals to add to the already enormous zoo along the side of her bed, toy bird feeder, Tinkerbell plastic cup and plate, and on and on. And it all gets placed.

I don't even bother tidying her bedside table. There's no point. She would just put everything back where it was before. She fiddles with it so much, I doubt there would be any dust collecting on it.

When I accidentally forget to hide the art work at the bottom of the recycling bin, she throws a fit and takes it out again. I apologize, claim my ignorance, and slyly wait for her to forget about it again, snatch it up and bury it for good. If I didn't recycle anything or occasionally pitch out the broken jewellery, we wouldn't be able to move in here.

I can't even imagine what this is going to mature into.

Yes, I can. A fussy, anal, picky, pack-rat who will have every surface covered. With her Jimmy Choos and clothing arranged by colour, function, and season.

All's I'm sayin's all.

Who's DDM

2010-01-21T10:14:00.002-05:00

It is up! The Who's DDM is up! A new one! A new year! Renewal.

I know it is almost the end of the month. I wrote it the first couple of days into the new year.

Click here to check it out!

All's I'm sayin's all.

Life Lessons

2010-01-18T20:33:00.003-05:00

I am reading If the World Were a Village: A Book about the World's People to EvieG right now. This is a book (also made into a narrated TV version) about what life would be like if the world were a village made up of 100 people. It encourages 'world-mindedness', an 'approach and attitude to life'. Click here for a clip. It puts the global village into a condensed perspective for little ones. It is really amazing.

Given what has happened in Haiti, I have taken the time to try and explain things like fresh food and water, housing and living conditions to EvieG and how disasters can strike and change the lives of millions. I am trying to show her that there are many people in the world who are living through horrific tragedy and who are simply trying to survive. I don't know how much she can comprehend but I figure it is worthwhile explaining.

The next question is trying to be proactive. By donating to the cause is one way, but I am often thinking to myself, how else can we help or how can she see the realities and struggles that people are faced with everyday around the world? This will be something I explore as the Wee Ladies get older.

It is so easy to carry on with our days with our kids. I have been thinking a lot about how the people in Haiti are coping. I realize that in our global village, we are all neighbours and we all can do something to help in times of need.

All's I'm sayin's all.

Questionable Influences

2010-01-11T21:09:00.002-05:00

Don't you love it when you go out to a restaurant or somewhere and just as you are all ready to order, your kids pull a fast one?

We went out for a bite to eat. We ordered our drinks. We perused the menu. We decided what we wanted and the Wee Ladies had also decided. The server returns with the drinks and the straws in the paper wrapper. As she asks us for our order, we begin to list off our requests. Just as she looks to EvieG, she is greeted by a paper straw wrapper. EvieG took the top off the wrapper, blew into the straw sending the rest of the wrapper torpedoing through the air.

Awesome.

I get the old stare-over-the-glasses look.

Hubby was sitting across from me with a sheepish grin. I felt like we just stepped back to third grade when he would have been shooting tiny bits of saliva soaked paper across the classroom, pelting the cute girl on the ear.

What other bad habits or influences have seeped into the ever-growing repertoire of inappropriate acts? Well, Uncle Jeff was here for Christmas. And with that comes a whole new exposure to sayings and acts of silliness. Like rhyming off the saying that is plastered on his t-shirt: I make house calls. Nice. And the old, "Pull my finger!" He burps and passes gas in our house. He buys us Dashboard Hula Girls and fridge poetry that consists of movies' greatest lines. Obviously a few magnets went in the trash. There were some bad words and EvieG knows how to read. Today she asked where the magnet was that says, "I'm ready for my closeup." Oh, and she also asked where she could find the one that says, "I see dead people."

While they clearly don't get the full meaning behind these things, they think it is absolutely hilarious. They have many good laughs with the uncles and Hubby. It is good that they have some silly boy influence in their lives. It keeps them sharp.

I wonder if we will ever get a call from school about EvieG's pea-shooter? I have told her that whatever Uncle Jeff and Uncle Paul teach them stays in our house. And it never leaves. EVER.

But I have one rogue influence. Their father. Now what do I do about that one?

All's I'm sayin's all.

PS I have sent off my Who's DDM to my web guy last week. I have not heard anything from him. I don't know where he is or if he is away. I am going to try and get it up ASAP. My apologies.

I hold it!

2010-01-01T18:43:00.003-05:00

Happy New Year to everyone! After a rather long hiatus, I can say that our family holidays are officially done. We all had a fun time with holiday prep, lots of family around, a trip to see Auntie Lisa, and now a detox for Hubby and I. For real. Somehow I have to find a way to detox The Destroyer of sugary treats.

Hubby and I are one week into a 30 day cleanse. All is well so far and I have lost 6 pounds. I am feeling fantastic. I have energy. I go all day long without stopping. I have a list a mile long of things I want to do this year. I will have it all for you in the Who's DDM section. Click here for that. I haven't written there since October. Slacker, I am.

The holidays are a time for indulging. That I did. So much so that on Boxing Day I had to take a Zantac. I have never taken one of those in my life. Too much rich food. And so we got all the treats out of the house on the 26th and vacated our house of anything else that a Zantac would like to attack.

The Wee Ladies had a super time. The Destroyer especially. All she asked Santa for was a candy bracelet. That's it. She got three. So for Christmas Day and the day after, she wore them around her neck and wore them down. She was caked with white goop all around her mouth and down onto her neck and chest. It was a true sight to see. She asked me this morning for another one.

Sugar is her weakness. Anything sweet. Or refined. Like Kraft Dinner. She loves these things so much she wants to carry them around with her. She walked around with the unopened Gummie Life Savers that were left in her stocking. For days. And I would try and take them away at which point she would yell, "I hold it!" Eventually I found trails of wrapper around the house. It was a gradual process. She does the dame thing with the KD. She will randomly go into the cupboard and parade around shaking the dried macaroni inside. I will say, "We have already had lunch!" She practically spits, "I hold it!" in my face, knowing full well we are not having it to eat.

So it is increased fruit, oatmeal with flax, apples and honey. It is granola with vanilla yogurt. She is digging it and besides the comment about wanting another candy bracelet, she really hasn't asked for anything else sweet. And she really hasn't attempted to help herself like she was doing. She is not reaching into the cupboard that is at her height looking for the Digestives, granola bars, or raisins.

Maybe it is because I finally got my act together and removed it. Not from the house, but to another location. We have to have Digestives! Isn't that like a childhood staple? When we were kids, we occasionally got the chocolate covered ones.

One of my resolutions: Keep The Destroyer from eating too much sugar and monitor more closely what she is snacking on.

And the same goes for me.

All's I'm sayin's all.

All I want for Christmas are my Bubble Lights

2009-12-14T20:51:00.004-05:00

We have temporarily lost some of our tree lights and ornaments. After packing and moving right after the holidays this past year, we have stuff in a variety of locations. I thought we brought all of the Christmas stuff with us, but I have discovered that my NOMA Bubble Lights are MIA. I am crushed. Click here for a refresher from last year.

This past weekend, we went out into the woods and emerged with our Fraser fir. It is smaller than years past, but it is because we have way less space. It is a good size, a normal size, if you will. We agreed that we had been overdoing it in the tree department. We found a nest in last year's tree. This year we have a smallish tree with lots of character.

I sent Hubby down into the crawl space to retrieve the decorations. Among hundreds of boxes labeled 'kitchen stuff', he only found one box of decorations for around the house and one box of tree lights mixed with one small box of glass ornaments. I asked him to check under the first of three boxes labeled 'fondue set' for the rest. Nothing.

WHERE ARE MY BUBBLE LIGHTS?

I can't go through Christmas without my Bubble Lights. These things are the best kind of fire hazard you could have. They don't make them like they used to anymore. And every year, keeping with my own personal tradition, I insist on heading into the local Canadian Tire and asking the staff to point me in the direction of the Bubble Lights. They stare at me like I am some crazy off the street. They don't know! They probably weren't even born when Bubble Lights were at their all time height in popularity. Kids these days.

Even EvieG is upset that there are no Bubble Lights this year.

We went for the multi-coloured twinkle lights and threw in a couple strands of LED lights to do our part for the environment (tree cutting excluded obviously). The box did have the disco ball and Santa lights. But I must have packed the Bubble Lights in bubble wrap and hidden them at the bottom of the box with the circa 1979-gold-spray-painted-dried-macaroni ornaments. And the rodent-nibbled-waffle-cone-popcorn-meant-to-be-an-ice-cream-cone-with-a-red-pom-pom-on-top ornament.

Devastated.

The fact that I don't have my old ornaments and retro lights bums me out big time.

I sucked it up. We bought one of those buckets o' ornaments for $25. They are plastic and they are all silver. So they do sparkle nicely with the twinkle lights. And it will work out fine because we won't risk losing anymore oldies but goodies in the loose grip of The Destroyer. We lost a few last year. So far we have had a lot fall but they just bounce and roll along the hard floor. If anything, I am going to have to go and stock up on extra hooks. I have noticed that some have fallen like pine cones and then I have to search for their proper branch. And they make the hooks green now so they camouflage. The breakable ones have gone 36 inches and above.

I am actually considering attaching the tree to the wall with fishing line. I see The Destroyer pacing back and forth in front of the tree looking like she is ready to pounce on her prey. I figure it is a matter of time before it all comes crashing down.

At least most objects on there are plastic. And I think we did use the fishing line last year. So maybe it's a good thing we don't have our old ornaments and Bubble Lights. I wouldn't want to risk losing them forever.

Ho hum. I will miss turning out the lights and sitting in front of the lit tree watching the mini lava lamps work their mesmerizing magic.

All the more fuel for me to come back next year bigger and better. I will make it my mission for 2010:

Find Bubble Lights, buy replacements for the existing dried up ones, and expand on current collection through online purchasing.

All's I'm sayin's all.

At least I've got Santa on my side

2009-12-07T20:51:00.003-05:00

I love the holiday season and getting into the holiday spirit. What I mean by this is that I can use this time of year as some serious leverage when it comes to the shenanigans of the Wee Ladies. No, no friends. It's not all the cookies and shopping, presents and chopped trees that have me giggly. It's that I have Santa on my side. We are a United Front. Santa's watching your kids.

As creepy as that may sound, he knows if you are being good. So when things go sideways, all I have to do is peer over my hot chocolate and Baileys and remind the Wee Ladies of this. I can easily use it for a solid two months out of the year. Maybe even bring it up mid-year as a refresher.

I love this threat. And yes, let's be open and honest. It is a threat. All you have to do is gently but firmly say, "Remember- Santa Claus is coming to town. So you better not pout or cry. And I will definitely give you all the reasons why. You might want to rethink that whole cleaning up the mess you made. Oh, and don't whine about it either. He's watching. Santa is always watching."

Sometimes when things get really sour with the Wee Ladies, the threat gets worse. "You do want Santa to bring you your presents, right?" Met with a distinct nod, I can swiftly redirect them back to more appropriate behaviour.

Shake your head at me all you want. But it works. And it works well. Why ruin a good thing? If I have a guaranteed means for good behaviour, if I can curb the whining, then boy howdy I will. No one wants to cross Jolly Old St. Nick. If we do, we might only get a lump of coal in our stockings. And I can see him shaking his head while exhaling his smoke ring from his pipe. Fear not, I haven't pulled the coal threat out yet. I think I'll save that for next year.

Santa is kind of like the Polk-A-Roo version the lady at the store who tells your kids to sit down in the cart, or stay out from under the racks because they might knock something over or get lost. They threaten to their face and in front of you, the parent, without your permission. You might get lost. Or You might crack your head on our Wal*Mart concrete and the Waltons have no use for lawsuits. Only Santa's threats are through the parent directly. The key here is that the kids always listen. ALWAYS. They do listen to that old lady with the blue perm cashing us out. And when she says sit, they sit. Just like when they know Santa is watching, it's all hands clasped at the table, napkin in lap, and a pearly white smile to boot.

Forget Reward Charts. Just use Santa. Christmas may only be once a year, but you can try and use Santa for about 364 days of the year.

Just ask the lady at the checkout. She'll agree.

All's I'm sayin's all.

Scraping Appetizers

2009-11-30T20:33:00.004-05:00

We had Hubby's parents here this weekend. The night they arrived, we all went out to a local pub for some dinner. Waiting for the kids' meals is always interesting. Can we keep them occupied? How many rounds of Eye Spy can we play? Did we remember the crayons? I told them a hundred times not to carve into the table. Did you want an appetizer first?

When we go to a restaurant, it feels appropriate to strategically place them around the table so they are properly boxed in somehow. A wall or window on one side, a parent on the other. I almost always sit on the outside. I don't think there will be any window seats for me until they are at least 10.

Because we had my In-Laws, that meant 4 adults to pigeon-hole them. Hubby and I both took the outsides. EvieG is great in a restaurant. She can amuse herself, read the menu, play quietly. Spark Plug has recently discovered a passion for colouring, so all in all she is fine too. But The Destroyer. She can only take it until her apple juice or chocolate milk is gone and then it is on to the next thing. She gets fidgety. She tries to climb under the table and come up for air on the other side. She makes friends with the neighbouring booth.

This time she found something else. She discovered the wrapped cutlery in the centre of the table. She reached over and was preoccupied with the fork and knife for a couple of minutes. She was also playing with the napkins. No big deal. Until she started trying to cut the kids' menu.

She was chewing. I couldn't see anything in her mouth and wasn't sure if she was grinding her teeth again. I opened her mouth and didn't see anything. She continued chewing. I opened it again and saw something white. Hubby asked me what it was. I told it it was probably just the napkin she had been playing with. I assumed it was a piece she has ripped off since she rips everything else in life and was playing with the fork and knife. I took out the tiny, wet piece and wiped it on my jeans. We carried on with our conversation.

Hubby noticed she was chewing something again! This time he removed it from her.

As The Destroyer was climbing from Hubby's lap to the floor and back up again, she had been munching on her own appetizer. She spotted the chewed gum stuck to the bottom of the table. It must have still smelled like strawberries or fruit blast because she had smoothly picked it off and was happily snacking on it.

What could we do? Remove it from her mouth and shrug. There was nothing we could say other than the fact that we weren't surprised and thank goodness we got her the H1N1 shot. We are sure she has the immune system of a superhuman given the amount of sand, dirt, and now crusty, chewed gum she has put in her mouth.

All's I'm sayin's all.

Illness Infiltrates

2009-11-23T21:45:00.003-05:00

Illness is infiltrating our house. EvieG was off most of last week with a virus. May have been the HiNee (H1N1) or some other bug. She is still coughing a bit. The Destroyer has a urinary tract infection. I am entering week four with a head cold. But I started taking Cold FX.

Have you tried this stuff? I feel like I am Speedy Gonzales. What a way to gain some instant energy. The ginseng and echinacea combined makes for a super duper sense of accomplishment. I was vacuuming tonight at 8:30. What is wrong with me?

As a preventative measure, I say take one of these a day and you'll be running a marathon by next spring. I am like the little engine that could.

I still have a cold. I can't smell or taste anything. I am coughing but mostly at night and am stuffed up in the sinuses. The sinuses have carried the brunt of this illness. So I went out and bought one of those teapots for snot.

Have you tried one of those before? What a weird feeling of relief! You lean forward tilt your head gently to the side, stick the spout of the teapot in a nostril let it pour into the sinus cavity and come out the other side. Don't lean back or you will feel like you just chugged part of the Gulf of Mexico. The first time I tried I did it twice just because it felt so cool. And then I realized my kitchen shutters were wide open for all the neighbours to see. Tea through her nose? That girl really is strange!

I can't wait to beat this thing. It has been one of the worst colds I have had in a very long time. At least I can take cold drugs now. I always hated that about pregnancy. It was like a death sentence when you were sick and were told that you had to stick it out. Like preparing us for what is to come with babies. A lesson in strength, stamina, perseverance. I cheated. I used to take Buckleys. Just like I still cheat and turn on the TV when I can't take anymore.

Here's stamina for you- TV and a Cold FX. You will have the entire house, cleaned, scrubbed, and dusted, all in minutes.

All's I'm sayin's all.

Sayonara Soo Soo

2009-11-19T20:20:00.003-05:00

Sayonara to the Soo Soo! And to diapers too! There have been lots of changes going on around here! The Destroyer has kicked her soother habit and bid farewell to diapers. While this is liberating, it also means my last baby is growing bigger all the time. But today, we talk addictions.

The Destroyer was addicted to her soothers. She had to have them on her at all times. So much so, that she even told me she would keep it in her pocket. She had to have it and got all bent out of shape when I took it or it was forgotten or she wasn't sure of its whereabouts. But like a squirrel, I am convinced she had them stashed away because she would leave the room with one and come back a few minutes later with another. And I never knew where she was finding them. She had her stash secretly placed.

Finally, after another rash formed around her mouth, I told Hubby that we needed to pull the chute on this soother thing. She will be 3 next April. There was no reason for it other than A) it was her sole comfort in life and B) well, it was just easier to put a cork in it.

I had been working on it for a couple of weeks with her. I told her it was time to give up the Soo Soo for the little babies who needed them. I told her that the Soo Soo Fairy would come, pick up the soothers, and then leave her presents. She looked at me square in the eye and said, "Pwesens? For me?" I replied with an excited and very convincing, "Yes! All for you! To thank you for helping the little babies!"

She never thought we'd go through with it.

I pulled the soother from her cold turkey. Just like that. I couldn't take it anymore watching her get all chaffed, her jaw structure changing as her teeth started moulding around it. She was so upset. I quickly found as many of the others as I could and got them out of her sight. I even found one behind the coat stand. Sly dog, she is.

I ran to the local Dollar Store and picked up a few items- some crayons, a little dolly, toy dinosaurs, a magic wand, and Life Savers gummy candies (which she carried around with her unopened the entire following morning). It was all assembled in a gift bag with a hand made card for Hers Truly and set out that night.

That night.

Withdrawal.

Putting her to bed without her soother was like trying to pull an addict from their prescription meds. There was the wailing, the cries of death, the fetal position, you name it. All I kept thinking was, I hope I am not going to have to rub her back like this as she hangs over the toilet bowl. Seriously... She moaned herself to sleep after an hour of going through hardcore withdrawal.

But what a pleasant little girl the next day! Addiction? What addiction? I don't have any clue what you are talking about! I never had a soother in my life! She was thrilled with her presents from the Soo Soo Fairy. She felt good about giving her soothers to the little babies. And who are these little babies anyway? I can picture handing over the bag of crusty soothers to another mom who gently accepts them with the tips of her index finger and thumb, all while sporting a half-smile, half-ewwwww look on her face. Hey, let's not be picky. At least it will cork the kid for a few moments of peace and quiet.

The Destroyer has only asked for it a couple of times since. And she has a hard time going to bed. Hubby has cuddled her a couple of times downstairs. Right now she is in our bed and then I will transfer her to her own bed.

Why not end one addiction and start another, right? Sleep aids. They help millions around the world.

Oh and what did I do with the soothers? I put them all in a poop and scoop bag and tossed them in my bathroom cupboard. I think I can pitch them now. Unless she finds the stash first.

All's I'm sayin's all.

Marriage According to The Destroyer

2009-11-16T19:59:00.002-05:00

As I watched Spark Plug primp her little sister for her wedding this morning, I realized a few things.

1. They watch way too much Disney and Barbie.

2. Spark Plug has exorbitant amounts of estrogen pumping through her.

3. The Destroyer could marry the toaster and be perfectly happy.

Spark Plug used the princess play make-up that Grandma and Grandpa gave her to properly prepare her sister for her official send-off. Brushing her hair, putting on some rouge, smothering her eyelids in violet. Good thing there were no real products being applied, otherwise I would have covered her up with a scarf and brought her in for a bath.

It occurred to me that The Destroyer had no idea where the wedding was to take place and to who she was to accept as her partner for life. I decided to ask her myself.

DDM: So, what are you doing today?

TheD: I'm getting mayweed.

DDM: Oh! Sounds fun! Who are you marrying?

Pause.

As she turned around and faced me, she looked at me with her wide, gap-toothed grin and bright baby blues. She held out the hot pink princess...

TheD: Hair dwyer!

All's I'm sayin's all.

Old-School Popcorn

2009-11-09T20:24:00.006-05:00

I find myself sometimes thinking about how I want the Wee Ladies to remember certain things in life. Making popcorn is one of those things I want to help shape a solid memory for. This memory I hope will be two-fold.

My childhood popcorn memory: A big, alien spaceship looking contraption sitting on an avocado coloured counter. Plug in the three prongs and dial up the heat. A little butter placed strategically in the middle of the rounded, metal bottom that sits on four corn-yellow, plastic feet and base. Toss some kernels on top of the sizzling liquid and quickly put the clear, plastic helmet on top of the base before getting splattered with the bullets of hot butter. The top had a holed-out area for the smelly vapours to escape from. Just like the jar you kept your pet praying mantis in.

Something similar to this:

In our family, I have decided that I don't want the popcorn-making experience to be one where the Wee Ladies put a bag that reads THIS SIDE UP and has what feels like a bunch of kernels surrounded by jellied, chemically flavoured goo into the microwave only to have them press the popcorn button and wait while leaning against the oven as they bite their nails as they bask in the radioactive micro-waves. BEEP! It's ready, Mom! I don't want the ending to be them pulling open the bag only to be captured by all of the chemical run-off as they inhale the carcinogenic fumes.

Instead, we will buy the kernels as is. And put them in the stainless steel pot on the stove. First melting the butter and adding a little salt. Then, throwing in the kernels and putting the lid on. Wait for it! Slowly they begin to pop and ricochet off the lid as they bounce all over the pot. It smells so good. And so what if it takes a few more minutes than the programmed microwave setting? This is real popcorn making, friends.

I also think that it is mandatory that the Wee Ladies learn to use the Jiffy Pop properly. And not over the stove. No. Over a fire. Watch the foil expand as the kernels pop. Use a wet towel to take it off the fire so you don't totally burn yourself. Taste the smoky, campy flavour in addition to the simulated butter. Probably not that great for you, but a good memory nonetheless.

The best part about making popcorn from scratch, if you will, is the greater number of half-popped kernels. They are my favourite and I will hunt through the bowl just to find them hiding at the bottom. You know the kernels that have partially popped- the extra crunchy ones.

I think it's a good way to spend family movie night. Making popcorn and then fighting over the half-popped ones.

And no seasoning allowed.

All's I'm sayin's all.

PS Congrats to S.H. who won the Oral B Stages giveaway! Thanks to all who entered!

Oral B Stages Giveaway!

2009-11-02T21:28:00.003-05:00

Click here to go over to the Try Ons section to enter to win a custom Oral B Stages package for you and your kids! Scroll to the first post on that page after my rating scale description.

All you have to do is click and send me your name and email. In a week I will draw a name at random and contact you for more info!

Enter to win!

I have some new reviews up to. So you can head on over to check it out!

All's I'm sayin's all.

The Absence of Funnies

2009-11-02T17:15:00.002-05:00

I have been away, I know. I have not been feeling well. I have been tired and am trying to get to the bottom of some side pain I have been having for a long time now. Plus, times are busy. And with Halloween gone, the clocks turned back, I have returned to the blog world.

Halloween was super fun. Hubby and I went to a great bash last Friday with friends. I was the outlet and he was the plug. It was hilarious. EvieG was the wicked witch of the west. Spark Plug was a scary ghost and The Destroyer was a big, fat pumpkin. Hubby dressed up as a ghost to go trick or treating with the Wee Ladies.

We have so much candy in this house, it is ridiculous. I have no willpower. Hubby went out and bought the box of Coffee Crisp/Smarties/Kit Kat/Aero for... ummm...no one. We didn't have trick or treaters here. If we did, we don't know because we took off for downtown. So here we are with 140 less about 50 mini chocolate bars at this point.

I have some work to catch up on. I have to get to this month's Who's DDM, and I still have a bunch of reviews to do. I just can't seem to get my shizzle together. I am off in a far away place these days and hoping that I am not dying of something horrible. I have another ultrasound scheduled.

My apologies for being so erratic and so-not-funny. I am having a hard time finding my funnies these days.

All's I'm sayin's all.

Don't mess with The Destroyer

2009-10-26T20:35:00.002-04:00

The Destroyer is 3 lbs lighter than her sister, Spark Plug, who is a year older. This kid is solid steel. And she could care less who is in her face because she will hold her ground. And she will get in your face.

She is a force to be reckoned with. And it seems every week she gets more daring, confident, and bold. She is strong and muscle-dense. And hse keeps really great footing wherever she is. Today, she was on the equipment at EvieG's school playing before dismissal. There was a 4 year old boy playing too. At one point she blocked him from climbing up the slide and reaching the top. She stood on the platform and shouted at his face, "I'm fee!" And then sent out this ridiculous, mischeivious cackle.

She is not three, she is two. She had him convinced.

The only problem with The Destroyer is that A) she has absolutely zero will power. She falls for temptation all the time. Probably several times a day, and B) she has an addictive personality. She is constantly in the cupboard searching for her next snack and cannot part ways with her soother. With her easy going personality combined with her daring nature to explore and try whatever you give her, I worry that this will be a recurring theme throughout her childhood.

This kid is going to tear up cities and get into mischief of all kinds. I can see it already and it hasn't even happened yet.

And she is going to convince the bouncer at the bar to let her in before she is of proper age. You wait.

All's I'm sayin's all.

Ghost walk through town

2009-10-21T19:56:00.003-04:00

I am a big fan of ghost walks. I think it is the best way to see a city or town, if they are offered. In our town, they are offered every October. So a friend and I participated last night.

What a fun couple of hours out of the house. We went for a cocktail before at a local pub, had a good visit, and then went to walk around the town where we learned about the town's history, its architecture, and the fun ghost stories that go with it all.

I have done ghost walks in the UK and in Kingston. Nenny with Twins and I did the ghost walk in York, and Edinburgh. Hubby and I did one in Oxford. Bus tours are great, but they can be a bit boring with the old, "Look to your left, look to your right." This way you interact with someone who is passionate about the town, its history, and inhabitants, alive and dead. They are storytellers with knowledge in a variety of areas. It is personal, you can ask questions, and be on the lookout for strange occurrences along the way.

As Halloween gets closer, find out if your town offers a haunted ghost walk. If it does, I say grab a few pals and head out for an hour or so of spooky stories. If not, well, that's too bad, but remember to find one in a city or town you may visit in the future.

All's I'm sayin's all.

Character building

2009-10-19T20:39:00.004-04:00

EvieG is in grade 1 and she is seeing and learning new things all the time when it comes to her peers. From exposure to 'stuff' and to her language development, we have had to really begin hammering home some of life's little lessons.

Here are a few examples of what is happening as EvieG moves through grade 1:

1. I want sparkly markers. My friend has them and says she got them at Wal*Mart for $5.00.

Okay. I told her if this is something she needs to have to enhance her artistic talents, then she will buy them herself. With her allowance money from her piggy bank. I would provide transportation free of charge.

Before we left, we had a discussion about whether or not $5.00 would be enough. She told me that her friend said that was the price. And so came the list of questions from me:

So, if so and so told you that jumping off a bridge was fun and that you could fly would you do it?

So, if so and so told you that you won't get cavities from too much sugar, would you binge until you got sick?

If so and so told you that The Smurfs were making a comeback, would you believe her?

EvieG ended up taking 3 dollars extra just in case. I should have let her take the $5.00 and let her learn the hard way. Because Wal*Mart never makes anything even. It's always something like $5.83. Which it was.

We got to the checkout and went self-serve. Faster and more efficient. EvieG scanned her item and put in the correct amount, all with some help. She ended up with 17 cents change to put back in her piggy bank, along with the extra money she had brought just in case.

2. "And I was like, so excited, and then she goes, 'Come and play over here, EvieG!'"

Thanks to Auntie Missy for this response- "Pardon me? You were like what? What are you like? What do you like? And where is she going? What is she doing?"

This is what I have been challenging EvieG with in the last couple of days. I can't stand this kind of language and I will stop her mid-sentence to correct her poor use of speech. I correct this and her pronunciation of 'th'. It is not the sound of a 'd' but 'th'.

When she found out that Uncle Paul was coming for Thanksgiving she announced in the car that she was going to pull his finger. This is something she does with her uncles. They prey on her naivete and convince her that she should pull their finger. She knows now that she is intoxicated by their stench when she does. So instead, she usually defers to her sisters, who still don't get it.

Give it time.

As we were driving, she did remind me that Uncle Paul was going to try and get her to pull his finger during his visit. She said, "I will just tell him, Not your middle finger! Because that's bad."

It is only a matter of time before she comes home from school asking about the meaning of a swear word. Or if she can add The Thong Song to her play list on her MVD player (MP3).

All's I'm sayin's all.

A sick day is no pity party

2009-10-13T21:18:00.007-04:00

EvieG got sent home from school today. She has been complaining about a sore ear since Saturday night. And so came EvieG's first-ever sent-home-sick day from school. She is working on her sick day maneuvering in an attempt to make it an extension of her weekend.

I didn't think she had an ear infection. She hasn't had one since she was really wee. She doesn't have a cold. The only thing I could think of was swimmer's ear. She had a lesson last week.

We have been treating her with TLC. Some Advil and Auralgan; that ear medicine your mom used to warm up and then drip into your ear. You would lay in bed with her rubbing your back until you could only hear it gurgling as she stuffed your ear canal with cotton balls. Well, we are now treating our Wee Lady the same way.

I wrote a note to the teacher informing her of the current complaint. And sure enough, just as I suspected, I received a phone call not even an hour into the school day. Come pick up EvieG. I called the doctor's office to get her in for a quick once-over.

EvieG came home for the rest of the day. Bring on play time.

Lessons in coming home from school have been swiftly and effectively communicated.

1. When you are sent home from school, you must put on your pajamas.

2. You must find your favourite pillow and stuffed animal.

3. You must assume a horizontal position.

4. You will receive a glass of water, or maybe ginger ale, depending on the ailment.

5. You will rest. There will be no play.

Just as I spotted her heading up the stairs with a pair of scissors for her craft and the Tinker Toys to build with her sisters, I kindly asked her what she was doing. She told me she was going to play with her sisters.

I don't think so.

And so I explained to her that if she was sick enough to be sent home from school then she for sure was not healthy enough to play with her sisters. I threatened to send her back to school, at which time she pleaded that she was unwell and needed to stay home and rest.

Well then put the Tinker Toys away. And the Barbie car while you are at it.

I could see her little mind working a mile a second, trying to figure out how she would get away with managing to pull off a successful sick day that wouldn't result in a long 6 hour time span where she was bored to tears. Finding a quiet place in her room with the door close perhaps? Taking a nice, warm bubble bath? Watching movies of her choice?

Once she learned that this was not a weekend, or a day off, she asked after lunch if she could go back to school.

Huh. Got you!

By that time, I had made an appointment with the doctor and told her she could resume her academic career tomorrow. She agreed and continued to rest.

It turns out that there is no sign of infection or anything. But her ear still hurts. And the doctor's recommendation is nothing more than extra TLC.

Sure, I can do that. But without it becoming a pity party. Or a party away from school. There will be no bell to beckon my services, or milkshakes, or special Jell-o. I will do KD, and I will tuck her in and make sure she has what she needs. I will be a mom and make her feel comfortable and properly nurtured.

And you can bet that tomorrow she will be in perfect shape and will be running out the door to go to school.

All's I'm sayin's all.

PS We had a grand Thanksgiving weekend and thanks to my cousins for hosting Sunday dinner!If you haven't read this month's Who's DDM, then head on over and take a gander. These photos will make more sense to you.

You can see the alternating tomato and apple juices. And the pickle dish. I love the turkey candle holder. Where do you buy those? By the way, my cousin and I were in charge of the juice.

Olives, sweet pickles, pickled cauliflower! Every table had its own!

It's the little things that make a big dinner so great. Don't you think?

My sewing + thread = bird's nest

2009-10-07T21:06:00.008-04:00

I can't sew to save my life. It is beyond terrible. It is so bad, I will tell you exactly how pathetic it is.

EvieG is in ballet this year. She loves it, which is great. She is at a dance school that requires my attention to detail. I have to have her in a certain outfit, her hair has to be in a pony tail or ballet bun, and she has to wear pink leather ballet slippers.

These slippers are my nemesis.

We bought the slippers only to learn that I had to sew the elastic straps to the sides in a criss-cross. I thought to myself, Really? Can I pay someone to do it? I can barely sew the Sparks' badges onto her hot pink sash, let alone sew straps to ensure they fit right. I can't even hem pants. Or put the button in the right spot, for crying out loud!

I had one week to get it done.

It was last Saturday. The slippers were sitting on our bookshelf. I stared at them. As I settled into bed, I took out the hot pink thread that I used for Sparks and a needle. I put the thread through the needle. I attempted to stitch. The thread got caught up somewhere between the inside and the outside of the shoe and I couldn't straighten it out. There were loops everywhere. After 3 attempts, I cut the thread off and threw the slipper across the room. I had a nice pile of thread on my side table.

Three days passed. I told Hubby last Sunday that we needed to get this done and that I was going to pay someone to do it for me. He scoffed at me and told me he would do it.

I agreed and repeated that we had to have these by Wednesday.

No problem, he reassured me.

Last night the slippers still weren't sewn. Crap. I concluded I was screwed and that I would be scolded at ballet the following day by the instructor because EvieG would be without shoes.

I bucked up. I told myself, I can do this. I can. I can. I can sew the friggin' straps on these friggin' slippers.

I tucked myself into bed and pulled out my arsenal of needles, and my hot pink thread. I selected a big needle, figuring it would be easier to maneuver through the leather.

It broke. In half.

Some more thread to add to the pile.

I then picked out a teeny needle, figuring it would slide through easier. To push a needle through leather is tough work and I didn't have a thimble on me at that time. I mean, who owns a thimble? When I think of a thimble I think of Thimblina, or some fairy tale where a little fairy sits on top of a lovely silver thimble and then makes a nice house out of it where all of the little forest animals and fairies come to play, until she is swept away by the Thimble Prince who whisks her away to the bigger and better thimble palace.

I opened my side table drawer and pulled out my tiny bottle of medicated eye/ear drops to use as a makeshift thimble.

I punctured the bottle.

Again, I tore out the thread and added it to the growing pile. I moved the leaking bottle to the side table.

I tried one more time and successfully completed three stitches. I used the heel of the other shoe as my thimble.

Hubby came in. He looked at me and asked why I looked so frustrated. I showed him the slipper. He took a look at it and said, "This won't last! You only have three stitches in this!" and then he looked at it more carefully. He then asked, "Isn't this strap supposed to go across the shoe?"

I started laughing so hard I cried. I finally got one strap sewn and I sewed it to the WRONG SPOT!

I was so angry by this point that I threw the slippers across the room.

I told him he was doing it, and gave him a deadline of Wednesday afternoon.

He did one shoe last night. And in a totally different way than I did. He strategically placed the stitches on either side of the leather seam. Why didn't I think of that? He finished the other slipper this afternoon. With needle-noised pliers as his thimble. Why didn't I think of that?

The good thing that came out of all of this was that I realized A) I will never sew again unless I have a thimble, or needle-nosed pliers and B) I will never sew again. Who am I kidding? C) All of the thread I went through will make one nesting bird very happy.

I can't wait to find the nest in the bush out front lined with hot pink thread next Spring.

All's I'm sayin's all.

PS Hubby must have been a seamstress in his former life. EvieG loves her shoes that much more thanks to him.

PPS October Who's DDM is done. I am waiting for my web page helper to put it up for me. Keep checking back!

Who needs Lego when you have tuna?

2009-10-06T18:25:00.004-04:00

The Destroyer is getting creative with her building skills in her old age. She will be 2 1/2 this month. She lives for her next snack and is quite happy helping herself to whatever she can get her paws on. She is not only using consumables for satiation, but has now entered the world of construction.

This is one busy Wee Lady. She is like 3 kids in one. She is a fart in a mitt. She can't sit still for 2 seconds. I am going to love to see what her teachers will have to say one day. And all I will do is nod, pat the teacher on the back and wish her good luck.

The Destroyer is constantly in search for food. Like an animal, she is on the prowl during every waking second of her day. I am one step from duct taping the cupboards shut. After losing sight of her again for the 80th time in two hours, I will check over my shoulder only to find her scrounging in the pantry cupboard. She pulls out the granola bars, or the fruit snacks, cashews, or even the quinoa.

I know it's lunch when she pulls out the two things that mean the most to her- the Skippy peanut butter and liquid chocolate for her milk. She will even open the fridge door and bury herself among the eggs and broccoli in search of the yogurt tubes.

Today I heard her shuffling about again. I called to her, but received no response. I expected her to bound out from behind the counter with a handful of crackers. There was nothing. Thinking she had choked on the almonds, I went around the corner to make sure she was still breathing. I found her sitting on the floor beside her tower. Her tower of tuna with a bottle of balsamic vinaigrette on top for a flag.

She was beaming at me. She pointed to it and hollered, "Tow-a!"

To be fair, there were a couple of cans of sockeye salmon in there too.

It is one of those instances where you say to yourself, Hey! That's a lot of fish! How come we don't eat that? I wonder how long it has been in our house? Didn't I move that can of pink salmon with us last January? Well I guess we are set in case of a global crisis. All I need is some water and batteries for the flashlights.

And so with this tuna, I am making a tuna casserole tomorrow. This is an easy meal for at least three days. I was thinking of putting crushed Rice Krispies on top instead of Regular Ruffles. Or maybe I should try Corn Flakes. Or bread crumbs.

There's nothing like tuna casserole soaked in cream of mushroom soup with Ruffles on top. Why ruin a good thing with cereal?

All's I'm sayin's all.

PS I still have to write my Who's DDM and reviews. I know. I suck. I just can't find the time! Forgive me.

It's a book day

2009-10-01T18:42:00.012-04:00

It has been a book day, in addition to cooking soup and casserole. I received 2 books today. One is the first of 6 we are reading for book club. The second is a cookbook that I bought used from Chapters.

I am excited about book club. It is a big group, but not everyone can make it each month. They are a fantastic group of ladies. And not all moms either. All very sporty and active, and some quite artistic. It is a solid mix of people from all over the place who live such colourful lives ranging from marketing to teaching to film and television producing.

I joined the book club last spring. They don't read a book each month. They alternate with Socials. I love this casual mentality and also the philosophy of, 'the more, the merrier', which is a saying and a way of life I frequently guide EvieG with. When I asked to participate, I was met with a humourous and sarcastic response of, "Well, I am not sure if we are accepting new members", followed by a big laugh and a big welcome.

We are starting the year with a fiction novel titled, Run. And it is by an author named Ann Patchett. In short this book takes place on "a winter evening in Boston and the temperature has drastically dropped as a blizzard approaches the city. On this fateful night, Bernard Doyle plans to meet his two adopted sons, Tip the older, and more serious and Teddy, the affectionate dreamer, at a Harvard auditorium to hear a speech given by Jesse Jackson. Doyle, an Irish Catholic and former Boston mayor, has done his best to keep his two sons interested in politics, from the day he and his now deceased wife became their parents, through their childhoods, and now in their lives as college students. Though the two boys are African-American, the bonds of the family's love have never been tested. But as the snow begins to falls, an accident triggers into motion a series of events that will forever change their lives."

I can't wait to read it. Apparently the author weaves and stages a dramatic story to show the strength of family and how far we can go to protect our kids.

The second book is a cookbook that I can't wait to dive into. Thanks to Auntie Missy for suggesting it. It is nothing new, nothing earth shattering, but brings a shift to the way we plan and prepare our plates. It is called The New American Plate and is brought to us by researchers, doctors and cancer specialists.

The old American plate is traditionally a big piece of meat, a starch, and a veggie. They are telling us to make a shift on our plates. "It's not a short-term diet to use for weight loss but a new approach to eat for better health. The New American Plate emphasizes the kinds of foods that can significantly reduce our risk for disease. It also shows how to enjoy all foods in sensible portions. That is, it promotes a healthy weight as just one part of an overall healthy lifestyle...At the center of the New American Plate are a variety of vegetables, fruits, whole grains and beans. These plant-based foods are rich in substances that help keep us in good health and protect against many kinds of cancer. They are also naturally low in calories. When plant based foods are on our plate, we're able to eat more filling and satisfying meals."

I like this book because this is how I have been trying to cook anyway. Not for less calories, but for overall health. If you have been reading this blog, you will know I am slightly obsessed with keeping as far away from The Marble Orchard as possible, but also have a weakness for starchy treats, like muffins and Timbits. This book is a way to keep me in check. Also, I want the Wee Ladies to be able to eat a variety of fruits and veggies, dished up in different ways. A lot of the recipes are kid-friendly which is great. I don't want to rely on having the meat on the plate all the time. The book is not anti-meat. There is a lot of meat throughout. They just think it is time to scale back on the meat intake. So what I like about this book is that it provides me with different and easy, relatively quick recipes, all for the greater good. There is a whole chapter devoted to one-pot recipes. YAY! I have this in front of my face and will find it easier to plan and make the trip to the store knowing exactly what I am going to get. This will be great now that we are on the move more with activities and all that is going on around town. It will be good from so many perspectives.

This weekend is the CIBC Run for the Cure. We will be running in support of breast cancer research. I heard they get about 850 participants here in town which is amazing.

I look forward to getting myself tucked in and reading through these books.

All's I'm sayin's all.

PS I will be working on this month's Who's DDM and also a few new reviews. I will keep you posted on that front.

PPS It's another small town fall fair weekend! We had our fall fair last weekend and this week it is a neighbouring village. The Wee Ladies are having a ball with all that is going on here. They saw a sheep get sheared last week and watched a tractor pull. This weekend it's arts and crafts, apples, and scarecrows. Along with a birthday party and the Run for the Cure.

DDM Cab Company

2009-09-29T21:12:00.003-04:00

We've been running around a lot the past couple of weeks. From here to there and there to here. I have started up a new business. And it's called DDM Cab Co.

There are a few things my customers must do.

- Buckle in at all times.

- Keep the antics to a minimum. No crying, sobbing, shouting, arguing, spitting food, or colouring on the seats.

- Keep all hands and feet inside.

- Don't litter inside the cab. Take garbage with you.

- No throwing.

- No pets allowed. Snails and caterpillars must remain in the bushes.

- Take all belongings.

- Stay seated until the vehicle comes to a complete stop.

- Keep shoes and socks on at all times.

- Use manners when requesting music selections.

- Use manners at all times.

- Stay out of the front seat.

- Extra change is for tips, not the CD player.

As we drive from the YMCA to home to choir practice and Sparks and back again, I continually enforce my rules. I am the driver and need to concentrate. I have to watch the speed limit and look out for cops. If I feel that my customers are not obeying the rules of the cab, I will abruptly pull over, tell them I will drop them off then and there and then ask them how they would like to proceed.

Once they are silenced, we continue on our way.

Cash only. Debit not accepted. Coffees welcome.

All's I'm sayin's all.

Living with Spidey

2009-09-24T13:45:00.007-04:00

I have a house full of Spideys. Spider-Man lives all over the place. Jumping on the beds, couches, chairs, stairs, out of the van, and sometimes even off the side of the tub. EvieG loves pretending to be Spider-Man. She even staged a show starring Hubby and Spider-Man, as herself. In full costume. She has never seen a show or movie of this, so how she knows about it is beyond me. The Destroyer, on the other hand, doesn't need a costume. She jumps everywhere, just because she is The Destroyer.

EvieG got the show ready. She had her costume and mask on. Our living room became the set. The set was made up of all the kitchen chairs lined up strategically around the room along with the couch, the PMS chair, which is a comfy chair and a half, and the trunk. These all represented the tops of skyscrapers. She dimmed the lights and changed the channel on the TV to Video to get the radiating blue light to simulate night. She made Hubby dress in all grey to signify him as the bad guy. I wasn't aware that she had such an in depth knowledge of Marvel Comics. I didn't know she even knew who The Rhino was.

She called action and they both started hopping from one chair to the next all around the room. There was no confrontation between good and evil until after the intermission. The show had a time elapse of 2 days.

Once action was called a second time, the two met face to face. On top of the Empire State building, where they fought. They had Hubby's neck ties tied around their wrists. Those were their webs that they threw at each other. There was some Kung Fu, some wrestling, some web throwing, and some falling. But good prevailed. Evil was defeated.

The lights came on and we clapped. And she bowed. We were all so proud that she planned and executed this show all by herself.

She found the Spidey costume as I was changing over closets. She wore it for Halloween 2 years ago. She has announced that she in fact wants to wear the Spidey costume again for Halloween this year. YAY! Last year she opted for her Cinderella dress that she has had for almost 4 years. I love that this kid doesn't want new costumes every year, like I did. I wanted the Princess Lea shower curtain of a plastic drape that went over me, accompanied by the plastic mask that would be dripping with my breath all around the chin and upper lip area that I couldn't breathe or see out of. The toxic, chemical laden mould would never last through the night because the cheap elastic held together by two staples would ALWAYS fall apart. And your one ear would always fall victim to the snap. And it would tingle with pain for the rest of the night.

Spark Plug is more into dancing right now. She would rather cuddle the real spiders who cling to the side of the house. But The Destroyer is another human size Spidey. Instead of jumping out of the van today, I caught her climbing onto the front passenger door and repelling down to the ground. Like a climbing wall, one hand was on the door handle, the other on the door frame, one foot on the side of the door and the other inside. She tells me she is getting out, "By a-self." Fine. Spidey.

We have moved from an obsession with Peter Pan to Spiderman. There is one commonality here. They all fly or jump far.

I can't wait for one of them to jump over the banister. Because their 'spider sense' told them to.

My spider sense tells me that I should teach them that all great superheroes learn that, "with great power comes great responsibility." All the more power to them as they make their beds, clean up their rooms, and clear the table.

All's I'm sayin's all.

Chugging some stamina

2009-09-21T20:18:00.005-04:00

I went out on Saturday night for Auntie Lisa's engagement party. I went with my other best bud, Auntie Missy. I drove to Toronto late Saturday afternoon, was late in arriving at Auntie Missy's, had a shower, got dressed, put on my hot pink pumps and matching belt, and off we went. Wet hair and all.

I can't just go all day with the Wee Ladies and then drive a couple hours followed by a night of partying. It just doesn't happen without some help. And I'm not talking about a nap either.

I confess- I needed some help to get me going and then keep me going for a full night of full on. Yes, friends. I chugged a Red Bull on the way to the bar.

I suck.

This was not an occasion that happens very often- the going out part. And it certainly is not an occasion that will occur again- Auntie Lisa's engagement. I had to be on top of my game. I had to have some stamina to get me through. There was much socializing to be done. There was no bailing at 11 pm, or even midnight for that matter. Nope. We went out. And we went until 3 am.

As the night wore on, I noticed I was getting older. I noticed I was being surrounded by a lot of twenty somethings. And they look like they should have been tucked in at home with their moms and dads. They looked so little. It was hard to swallow that I had like 15 years on some of these kids.

And I needed a Red Bull to keep going. Can you believe it? I need to take an overdose of caffeine to ensure a solid night of good times.

Ideally, I would take a 2 hour nap around 4 or 5 pm. We all know that in this life with three Wee Ladies that it for sure isn't happening anytime soon.

It felt good to let my hair down and pull out my interpretive dance moves- the lawn mower, grocery cart, curler (that's a classic), among others. People didn't know my hair was as long as it is. All because I NEVER wear it down. It is always in a ponytail or bun. It was also nice to get dressed into something decent. And wear fun shoes.

I still have to get waxed though. I didn't have time to check that one off the list. We were in a dimly lit room anyway. No one could tell my brows gently touch each other.

And the Red Bull fueled DDM certainly didn't care. I didn't even feel the blisters on my heel and bunion.

All's I'm sayin's all.

Shutting down for two hours

2009-09-17T13:40:00.003-04:00

As soon as EvieG and Spark Plug are gone to their respective campuses, The Destroyer unwinds and sleeps the afternoons away.

She can usually make it through the days now without a nap and happily plays with her sisters. She keeps up rather well. She can certainly hold her own and is sometimes even the one leading the others as they bang and jump around the house.

But as soon as Spark Plug is dropped off it's like the lights turn off, the gears come to a halt, and the POWER button is in sleep mode. She doesn't even make it home before her eyes close. And then I have to take her out, carry her up to her bed where she crashes for the next 2 hours.

As soon as she sees the last of her sisters depart she says, "See ya, Sisters! You are outta here! It is going to be me- and my bed!" And then under her breath I swear I hear her say, "Thank god for these moments of peace. Thank you."

She still goes to bed at a decent time, which is amazing to me. She is not partying until my bedtime. She is one tired out child. She is busy, but some days keeping up is extra challenging for her.

There is no way she wants to miss out on anything. Just like the parties. I know she will be at every one. And she will never leave before the lights come on. The only time she will miss a party is if her wingman is unavailable.

All's I'm sayin's all.

What a 5 am line up in my world is for

2009-09-14T20:35:00.006-04:00

This morning I reaffirmed my high level of commitment to my Wee Ladies. Starting at 4:30 am when my alarm went off. Getting up at this time also reaffirmed my high level of crazy.

In our town, most young, active families are members at the local YMCA. There is no community sponsored family programming here like there was in our old town. So when the time comes for program registration for kids at the YMCA, you have to be there right on time, or you will lose out in getting your kids involved.

The gym opens at 5:30 am.

I got up and got dressed in my exercise gear. I picked up coffee and met a friend outside to wait in line until the place opened. At 5:00 am, I was 9th in line. People had been there since 4:30 am. I have never seen anything like this. I am surprised I didn't see tents pitched and bonfires. By the time my friend got there 10 minutes after me, there was a line up of 30 or so. The staff at the Y even tell you that if you are not there by 5:20 am, you will be waiting for well over an hour.

What? What? What?

There were even people standing in line CALLING from their cell phones to see if they could get it done that way first!

This is not lining up for cool concert tickets anymore, friends. Or to get the latest fad toy, like the Cabbage Patch dolls. This is lining up in the dark AT THE YMCA TO GET MY KIDS IN JUNIOR BLOODY CHEFS AND SWIMMING. This is my life.

By 6:00 am, I had successfully signed them up for this term's activities. I felt I had accomplished something valuable. All before breakfast! I went for a 20 minute run and on my way by the front desk to my yoga class, my friend was still standing in line because apparently the computer system shut down.

Wow.

The things we do for our kids continually astonishes me. I would have never thought in a million years that I would participate in such shenanigans to sign my kids up for anything. But hey, with three Wee Ladies, scheduling is a must. And I have to make it convenient. I want to make sure we are maximizing our time there and that we are all getting the most out of our $69 a month membership. So yes. I was there. With caffeine flowing through my veins.

And to celebrate the successful registration, I went to an hour long spinning class taught by a woman who had completed a Half Ironman yesterday.

What has gotten into me?

Next thing you know, I am going to be taking swimming lessons and making snacks in Junior chefs just to be absolutely sure I am squeezing every last cent out of our monthly gym payments.

I even used a coupon to register to become a member.

All's I'm sayin's all.

Squashed but loved

2009-09-11T20:54:00.004-04:00

Spark Plug is obsessed with snails. Also bugs and caterpillars. The first thing she does is go outside to the sedum plant and pick off the snails that have sought refuge from the drenched soil. She puts them in a jar without a lid. And then the jar tips over.

I am finding tiny snails all over the place. And I foresee the demise of several as they take a ride through the worm hole which is the vacuum hose and into another galaxy- the canister.

Today as she was searching, she found a really fuzzy caterpillar. She took hold of it and carried it around with her for the trip in the van to and from the grocery store. I told her she could take it in the store if she promised to sit in the seat of the cart. That indeed worked. She only dropped it once. In the condiments aisle. And the old lady behind us looked at the black and ochre fuzzball on the floor and then at me with a puzzled look. I simply walked over, picked it up and handed it back to Spark Plug. All before the old lady ran over him with her cart.

Spark Plug is certainly not loyal to any one creature. They are all her favourite. She canoodles and gushes over the snails, takes them on bike rides, and sets them beside her at lunch. But as soon as you bring a furry caterpillar onto the scene, everything changes. She ditches the snails and devotes all of her time and love to the caterpillar. She is such a fair weather friend.

So what happens to these creatures? Well, all of a sudden they enter a deep slumber. Just like the 'sleeping' frog she carried around with her in the pool. It took Hubby to distract her while I chucked it over the fence. I then had to convince her that he woke up and hopped off to his mommy.

Back to the point- the critters have been so loved that they change shape. They are either flattened, broken, or balded. Yes, Spark Plug had bits of caterpillar hair all over her shirt. She literally scared the fuzz off the poor thing.

Like the Christmas cookie sprinkles that I find tucked into the smallest of crevices well into January, I suspect I will be finding snails and ladybugs randomly throughout the house for months to come.

I just hope she is nowhere in sight when the long, shiny, arm comes to take them to a better place. The place with the stale Cheerios and dog hair. And the Christmas cookie sprinkles.

All's I'm sayin's all.

PS Update: I found a snail shell in the washing machine this morning as I was putting clothes in the dryer.

PPS Congrats to LC who won the Always Infinity Giveaway! YAY!

PPS Who's DDM is up but some of it was cut off, so I have to go in and put up the rest. Sorry.

Unattached from the hip

2009-09-08T20:47:00.003-04:00

Back to school today. EvieG started first grade and Spark Plug started back at her preschool. They were both super excited. All went well for them both. And for me.

To properly prepare for Grade 1, EvieG coloured her own school bag. This bag was given to her by Uncle Jeff for her birthday. It is made by Alex and came with permanent markers. She coloured in the black and white print to make it her own. And she was told several times today that it was 'cool'. My kid is cool. Complete with perfectly folded over socks.

We got out the breakfast bowls and cereal last night. She selected her outfit, put it out neatly, and then got herself up and dressed. She even brushed her hair and teeth. She could then go downstairs and help herself to her breakfast. She knows where the milk is.

With first grade comes a whole new set of responsibility. She is a big kid now. She goes to school all day, five days a week. She thinks this is great.

Back to the sock thing. She has to wear socks. Even with her Crocs. She says that she has to be careful of staples and thumb tacks. Like a sock is going to save her from a sharp object impaling itself into her heel. She pulls them up as high as they will reach and then folds each one down neatly. She makes her own version of a tube sock.

Spark Plug also picked out her outfit for school. She got up and asked for piggy tails today. She had her backpack ready to go- Barbie and the Dancing Princesses with their little poodle pups in their arms all Paris Hilton like. Great. Spark Plug is my girly-girl, hands down.

She gladly went to school today and barely said good-bye. She set off to play. This is fantastic and I am glad she left my side so willingly to play and learn. And to drive it home just how happy she was to leave me, she refused to come with me at the end of the day. That is right, folks. Spark Plug threw a rangy in the yard and then proceeded to sprint away from me to find solace in the play house. I practically dragged her by the arms kicking and screaming as her teachers told her over and over, "You can come back another day! We will see you soon!"

Both kids ran away from me and into this new school routine without a second thought. I didn't think I was that boring to be around. I was almost offended. But not quite. Two less to watch is alright by me!

Just The Destroyer and me. Oh, wait. She is like three kids in one.

All's I'm sayin's all.

Avoiding shoe fetishes

2009-09-01T20:17:00.003-04:00

There are a lot of things that make me feel kind of guilty in this motherhood gig. Leaving them for 2 hours to hit up the pub one evening, or even letting them watch too much TV, or giving them too many sweet treats are some examples. At the end of the day I am glad to clock out and I don't get too bent out of shape about these things. There is one thing that never fails to make me feel like a neglectful parent. And that is ALWAYS not knowing their proper shoes size and letting them walk around in shoes or boots that are way too small for them. I wondered why The Destroyer was getting blisters on her ankles and heels.

While I away this past weekend hanging with my pals, Hubby took the three Wee Ladies to the local shoe store to get EvieG a pair of indoor shoes for grade 1. She is starting next week. He called me to drive it home that I am indeed falling behind in the shoe department. He didn't know about the mom-guilt I have when the topic of feet comes up. He was just as surprised as I was when he told me the results of the foot measuring.

We have been wearing Crocs all summer. Or bare feet. They are the perfect fit. I didn't realize I was so far away from their actual foot sizes.

EvieG, who I was convinced was an 11 is a 12 1/2. Oops.

Spark Plug is a 10, not an 8.

The Destroyer is and 8 1/2, not a 5-6. That one is bad, I know.

You go to the department store, shove on a few pairs while the child is squirming in the cart, stick your fingers down the side and back and shrug to yourself knowing that you could fit 2 fingers at the heel and along the side without problems. Must be all good!

In fact this whole foot thing is like thinking about one's real age and actual age. I am 34 in reality. But my actual age is about 25. I like to think of myself as young and hip and with it, as it were. EvieG's real size is 12 1/2 but her actual size in my head is 11. The Destroyer's size to me is actually 5-6. She is my little baby, not an almost 2 1/2 year old who is talking and doing things all by herself. She is my wee baby. I want her to stay little! Just like I want EvieG to be in Kindergarten forever, not start grade 1 and be gone to school all day 5 days a week! And Spark Plug is my little girl who wants to stay with mom; not insist on heading off to pre-school 2 times a week!

This guilt makes me want to kick myself. By not facing their incredible growth spurts in their entirety, I am going to give them bunions or foot cramps instead.

Plus, I am not totally comfortable forking out a whack of dough for shoes a few times a year. Shoes are expensive!

We all know that the real reason for this shoe neglect is part of my greater plan to prevent them from developing shoe fetishes. Three girls and shoes spells out hell in my books.

All's I'm sayin's all.

Her many stomachs

2009-08-27T20:41:00.004-04:00

EvieG has compartmentalized her tummy. A healthy dinner of rice noodles with fresh tomatoes, black olives, black beans in olive oil did not cut it for her. She declared herself full after a few bites.

If she did not eat my great dinner, then there would be no dessert. That is the rule.

EvieG: I'm full. I don't like those red things.

DDM: Well then I guess there will be no ice cream topped with fresh blueberries for you!

EvieG: But that part of my tummy is not full!

DDM: What part of your tummy? You say you are full!

EvieG: The dinner part of my tummy is full. My tummy has lots of differents parts that get filled. The ice cream part is still empty! It's over here. The dinner part is on this side.

DDM: Oh ya? Are there other parts? Tell me.

EvieG: Well, I have the breakfast part and the lunch part. They have been filled up today.

DDM: Interesting! Are there more parts to your stomach?

EvieG: Yep. There is the cake part and the muffin part. There is one for crackers too.

DDM: Is there one for vegetables?

EvieG: No. That one is full all the time.

It's a good thing she doesn't have to chew her cud with all those stomachs. That would be a right awful, constant cocktail of carbs. And she would get her veggies all day long. No need for a multi-vitamin!

All's I'm sayin's all.

Clicking her heels three times is far easier

2009-08-24T20:31:00.007-04:00

EvieG is on a quest for Pixie dust. She knows that this is a mandatory part of flying. This is her fuel and she needs a good sprinkling in order to take flight with her new BFFs Peter Pan and Tinkerbell.

While en route to Grandma's and Grandpa's, EvieG decided she would like to go to Neverland. And not the one in California. She wants the one on the second star to the right. She wants to confront Captain Hook and play with the Lost Boys. She wants to hang out with Peter Pan and Tinkerbell. She says she believes. And that she can think of happy thoughts in order to fly. She thinks of reindeer. Me? My happy thoughts? Besides a cold beer on a patio somewhere, I am afraid mine are not suitable for this blog at this time.

EvieG has been communicating with Peter Pan. Via letter. She left a note taped to her window for him. It read:

To Peter pan

Bring Tink hier Put Tink in a jare Love you Thank you

There is a picture of Tinkerbell locked in a jar like a firefly in a mason jar with holes punched in its metal lid. EvieG clearly does not realize the no-BS-kind-of-attitude of this wee fairy. Nothing will keep her away from Peter Pan and I am sure EvieG would have to suffer her powerful wrath if she pulled any fast ones on her. At least EvieG was kind enough to make two teeny weeny little books for her to read while in solitary confinement. How thoughtful.

Peter Pan responded on the window with the Crayola window writing markers left in the house by Auntie Vee. He wrote:

Hi EvieG!!!

Thanks for the note. I will take the books back to Tink. Tink will not be back to the Mainland until the winter. She says hi.

See you soon!

PP :)

EvieG was ecstatic to find this note on her window and part of the banana eaten that she had left out. She was also disappointed that Tinkerbell was not left in a jar.

All she wanted to do was use Tink for her fairy dust to fly. Is that too much to ask? Tink would be and is probably already on to her. Using her for her dust and keeping her trapped like Gargamel keeps the little Smurfs trapped so they can lead him back to to the village is undeniably strategic. Although EvieG has only good intentions in her alchemy.

EvieG being the determined child that she is, was not done with this matter. She responded to Peter Pan with another note the following night. It read:

to Peter Pen

jump on my bed Be cuse i want to Go to never land i never bine there Befor.

Love EvieG

xoxoxoxo

She must have thought that a few jumps on her mattress might catapult her to Neverland. She obviously does not have the mattress that can support a bouncing bowling ball with full glasses of red wine on the other side.

EvieG has watched Peter Pan a few times now and last night she watched Hook with Robin Williams and Julia Roberts. She loved it. This only fueled her desires even more. She thinks she can fly if she believes.

Now what?

One last note from her dashing, young friend. It read:

Hi EvieG!

I will take you to Neverland for a great adventure in your dreams. We can play all night and you will wake up in your own bed in the morning.

See you in your dreams,

PP :)

When she first read it, she only saw the I will take you to Neverland for a great adventure. She was elated. I told her to read on. Her face grew longer as she pronounced each word. Trying to make her understand that he will come and they will fly together in her dreams was challenging. But she is still trying to figure out a way to fly.

She went down the stairs in a cardboard box today. I gave her points for being inventive.

We watched The Wizard of Oz. I am trying to convince her that it is far more efficient if she gets a sharp pair of sparkly, red flats and clicks the heels three times. Who needs to fly when you can get from A to B instantly?

Forget glitter. Scratch off the Pixie dust from the pre-flight checklist. Add Manolo Blahnik red flats instead.

All's I'm sayin's all.

Trip to Grandma's

2009-08-17T19:32:00.002-04:00

We are at Grandma's this week. We had Auntie Vee and Susie visiting last week from the UK. There was the beach, the parks, pools, dancing, and playing all over. There was and is no stopping.

We packed up Sunday and headed for a few days in our old town with both sets of grandparents.

We went to the beach today. The Wee Ladies played hard. It is 7:30 and they are all out like lights. Bliss.

I apologize for not blogging lately. I can hardly keep up with my emails. But I am glad we are all having so much fun even though I am ready for bed too and it is this early.

EvieG is back on track and has been extra lovely after we came to a head last week. Spark Plug is rather enjoying her swimming and collecting rocks and shells. The Destroyer was doing acrobatics at the park. No joke. She was climbing over the bridge of monkey bars and then swinging down through and letting herself drop to the ground. You know she will be the kid to do something like skydiving, and then tell me after it all happens. She will start with, "Well, Mom, I have good news and bad news. The good news I am alive and unharmed. The bad news is that I just free climbed 5 storeys."

I am off to have a shower and read smutty magazines. I don't even have enough energy to have a beer.

I am okay with this because I can proudly say that I have officially worn my kids and I out. And every is happy. This is really what it is all about.

All's I'm sayin's all.

Energy suckers

2009-08-12T20:22:00.006-04:00

I am shattered. Tired. Exhausted. With EvieG home again this week after two fun-filled weeks at camp, she is not only testing me regularly, but is running me ragged physically and emotionally.

It is amazing to me how much kids pick up and learn from other kids. She has been behaving out of character at times and I know she is copying and repeating what she has heard and seen. It is driving me crazy. She has spent some time in her room the last couple of days and lost special privileges. She has been told to wipe the smug look off her face.

She is also starting to ask lots of questions. More so than ever before. Questions regarding death and guns. She has been around a lot of boys lately who are a couple of years older. They played some game called Mafia... which is a modern version of Duck, Duck, Goose or I Wrote a Letter to My Love... I am thinking about my responses, how to approach these subjects, what to say in and how to say it in simple terms so she will understand.

After many discussions and being outside playing all day, I am shattered. This will be the second night I am in bed by 8:30.

She is 6. She is the first. I have 2 more to go through this. Will I make it? Or will I be in bed by 6:00 by the time the other 2 Wee Ladies get to this stage?

All's I'm sayin's all.

Christmas Lights

2009-08-07T19:57:00.004-04:00

Background: While we are away on our annual family holiday to northern Ontario, we make a point of noticing all the houses in town that have Christmas lights up all year long. We can realistically say that close to 50% of all homes have decorations edging the eaves troughs. And all varieties too. Icicle lights, multi-coloured LED mini-bulbs, and regular large bulbs. This habit of pointing out Christmas lights has transferred into our everyday car travels now. And beyond.

The Wee Ladies point out and holler at the top of their lungs, "Christmas lights!" every time they see them and on a variety of buildings. Houses obviously, but also local bars who display their nighttime twinklers to entice their patrons, storefronts, restaurants, and even trees.

It was today that the Christmas lights shenanigans were taken to another level.

While at the beach, Spark Plug was busy making Cinderella's castle with Snow White's digs next door. They were even lined with stones and sticks. It was quite remarkable really and she has taken her castle-making abilities to a place where The Destroyer is no longer smashing them. I think she knows that if she so-help-her-soul even breathed near them, she would lose her head.

While Spark Plug was decorating her castles, The Destroyer grabbed her yellow pail. Still with a bit of sand in the bottom, she put the bucket on her head, its white handle serving as a chin strap. Sand lining her eyebrows, nostrils, and lips, she looked at me with her biggest gap-toothed grin and shouted, "Christmas lights!"

I buckled over in laughter.

She then proceeded to repeat this act with the pink pail, followed by the green pail. There was a fine layer of sand covering her face.

Spark Plug giggling, tossed her the blue pail to finish off the line of colours.

Her mind clearly on the side of someone's house, thought for a minute that she would make a perfect Christmas light. And she did a perfect impression as she stood straight, still, and with a sparkle in her eyes.

Who knew she would be method acting at the age of 2?

A bright light she is.

All's I'm sayin's all.

PS Congrats to L.C. for winning the Ni Hao, Kai-Lan DVD! Thanks to all who entered to win! More contests coming up! Keep checking back!

PPS Who's DDM is up if you haven't checked yet.

I have been better, thanks.

2009-08-05T19:18:00.004-04:00

I have been feeling down and out the past week.

To refresh, we got home from our holiday and I somehow managed to bring back a kidney/urinary tract infection.

Long story short- infection, pain, emergency at hospital, antibiotics, sun burn due to meds, yeast infection, done. A week later I retested only to be told all was well.

Well, all is not well.

I have been wanting to pee constantly, bladder never feels empty, sharp side pain, kidney pain.

This sucks.

So, I go to the doctor tomorrow to get it all looked at AGAIN. I have had everything from MS to ovarian cancer in my head. Kidney stones are a more likely answer. I am a bit of a worrier. I have had myself in the Marble Orchard many times. I think I need therapy. I am amazed at the horrible things I concoct in my head when I am not in the best of health. Is this what motherhood does to us? Our minds think of these crazy things to cope? Because no one could cope without me- again, a thing I have in my mind. MAN! Or is it I am just a hypochondriac?

Anyway, many apologies for not being online. Once I have this thing figured out and I am out and about to get some better material, I will be back online.

I am tired.

Don't forget to click here to give me your contact info so you can win the Ni Hao, Kai-Lan DVD! I draw this Friday!

All's I'm sayin's all.

PS August Who's DDM is up. Click here to check it out.

Baby Seagull

2009-07-30T20:53:00.004-04:00

While The Destroyer continues to excel at her role as Baby Godzilla while at the beach, she has expanded on this identity. She can now add Baby Seagull to her resume. Click here to read Baby Godzilla.

Along with smashing every sand castle she lays her eyes on, she has also become a scavenger. Much like a seagull, The Destroyer often finds herself scouring the beach for her next snack. And it is not from me and the wonderful array of healthy choices I have packed. No, her snack radar is turned on, she sees the pretzels on the blanket next to us, and off she goes. The party of four beside us look up only to find The Destroyer standing and staring over them, sand covering most of her body. I look and wait for one leg to go up while she patiently waits for a handout.

She will gesture towards the food of others. And grunt. Even though she is perfectly capable of communicating her wants, instead she will chirp like a seagull. As the mother of the family reaches toward the bag of pretzels, The Destroyer is instantly spooked but not distracted. She backs up a few steps, eyes still firmly laid on the snack. She does not deviate. The mother looks at me and asks with uncertainty and a hint of annoyance, "Can she have some pretzels?" I sharply reply with, "Oh, no thanks. We have snacks over here. She is fine without. Sorry about her hovering."

I have to fly over and once in her peripheral, she runs off, much like a seagull. Both The Destroyer and Spark Plug spend lots of time chasing the pesty birds, so it is no wonder The Destroyer has picked up some bad habits from them as she carefully studies their tactical behaviour.

Without achieving her pretzel goal and as she is avoiding my grip, she heads for another family who have comfortably set themselves up at the picnic table. Here she tries to get in by heading under the bench of the table and up through the other side where the chips are. "Oh, hi there!" they greet. And then The Destroyer comes up for air and stares at the bag. "Would you like a chip?" Just as she is reaching to satisfy her salt and vinegar craving, I swoop in and capture her. "I am so sorry about her pesty, seagull-like behaviour. She knows what she wants, that's for sure. And just so you know, she gets fed regularly." But like a seagull, there is always more and there is always going to be something better.

When we were at the park one day, I made the grave mistake of not sealing our banana bread in a container. As I was watching the Wee Ladies play, I heard the squawking of seagulls in the background. And then like a bolt of lightening, I remembered- my banana bread! Crap! I turned around to find about 4 seagulls ripping apart our snack. I ran over to shoo them away and discovered that every single crumb had been devoured by these irritating creatures.

WARNING: Food left unattended may miraculously disappear at the blink of an eye if The Destroyer is in its proximity.

All's I'm sayin's all.

PS Click here to win the Ni Hao, Kai-Lan DVD! See the post below for more information about the DVD.

DVD Giveaway!

2009-07-28T13:48:00.004-04:00

Nickelodeon's Ni Hao, Kai-Lan is a show that promotes and teaches the importance of trying new things, coping with disappointment, tolerance, and understanding. It also teaches about the Chinese culture and before you know it, your kids are speaking Mandarin!

The Wee Ladies love this show. Like Dora the Explorer, it is repetitive and encourages audience participation. They love speaking Mandarin and will do it on their own. They can say basic phrases and count in Chinese.

I am giving away Kai-Lan's Great Trip to China! Click here to win!

In this DVD Kai-Lan and her friends are invited to go visit her aunt in China. They meet a baby panda and try many new things. The Wee Ladies loved this episode and learned about China, its culture, and language.

Also on this DVD is Rain or Shine, an episode about making a rainy day into a fun day by playing in the rain. The third episode is titled, The Ant Playground and Kai-Lan and her friends learn how to help their ant friends by understanding their differences.

The catchy music and easy-to-watch animation makes for a great show for the kids to watch. I love that they see the importance of a positive attitude and good communication skills are encouraged.

Enter to win! Enter to win! CLICK HERE TO WIN! Just send me your name and email and I will draw a name at random Friday, August 7, 2009.

All's I'm sayin's all.

EvieG was cruising

2009-07-27T18:17:00.006-04:00

EvieG had a wicked weekend with her cousin who is 2 years older. I dropped her off on Friday and picked her up yesterday afternoon. This was a great weekend for everyone. The Wee Ladies had some time apart and EvieG experienced what would be an adult version of a cruise ship adventure. Food of all kinds made available in a variety of situations from birthday parties to bagel shops.

There was so much goodness around her that she didn't know how or when to call it quits. She binged. Just like adults do at the all-you-can-eat-dessert-buffet. They say that it is common for people to gain an average of a pound a day on a cruise. With the change of environment, the access, the options, the temptation, I can see how it is difficult to STOP the massive, indulgent consumption. EvieG could not put a cork in it.

They went to a birthday party Friday night where there was an abundance of sweets and chips and BBQed goodies. EvieG was that kid in the candy store. Without her mother or father. And she went TO TOWN. Kool Aid Jammers, candy, cake, hot dogs, oh, and lots of Cheesies she told me. She got back to her cousin's, called in an enthusiastic state, and then went to bed. And then came the barf. Yep. I guess she got the entire household up at 3 am because she barfed all over.

Super.

It's like I never give her anything sugary and good. Uh huh. What, as soon as her mother is out of reach, she just goes hardcore? Three Kool Aids later, she thought that perhaps maybe she had had enough. She probably snuck a fourth all stealth like.

Is she going to be one of those compulsive people who can't make the madness stop? Is she showing signs of an addictive personality? Because she obviously can't figure out when to shut 'er down. I asked Hubby this question. He replied by explaining that she was enjoying her first cruise ship experience; that she was in a new place and was overwhelmed by temptation and independence. She just went crazy, like an adult would do at the buffet stations. After the 5 kinds of pasta, why would I settle for one choice when that chocolate mousse cake is sitting over at the other side of the table, beside the New York cheesecake, diagonal from the Turtle torte and down a bit from the Baileys Irish Cream cake? Oh, and I might as well sample the homemade ice cream and waffle cone on the way to the pool.

This was EvieG. A Cruiser.

She is totally aware that she over-indulged. She now knows what happens to her body when he puts too much crap into it. She did it to herself. Live and learn.

And then she eats two bites of her lunch and has the balls to ask for dessert. What will it take, I ask?

To drive it home, we told her what can happen if she were to continue making choices like she did. EvieG is petrified of needles. So we explained that a diet rich in sugar could lead to a disease called diabetes and the only way to stay healthy is to inject yourself with needles. Twice a day. Well, she didn't like the sound of that. It gave her the hee-bee-gee-bees. And then she asked where her crayons were. We decided to try it again later.

Or she will try it again later. Because with this kid, it might take a couple of tries for it to really sink in.

I just hope she doesn't end up in the hospital after her first night of drinking, only to have her stomach pumped because she didn't know when to quit. Ugh. Or maybe she will just gain a few pounds on her first real ocean cruise.

All's I'm sayin's all.

Off Again

2009-07-22T10:23:00.002-04:00

I am off again today with the Wee Ladies for a visit with a university roommate for a couple of days at her family cottage.

We are gone the rest of this week and I will be back online next week.

I apologize if I have disappointed any readers. Forgive me. I will be back next week.

All's I'm sayin's all.

Turning 6 is like having my own fairy godmother

2009-07-20T21:11:00.002-04:00

EvieG is 6. Officially. After a weekend of birthday fun, she has now reached adulthood. In her mind. She is extra responsible, eager to help, and cooperative. Even more than ever before. I wonder how long it will last?

Her birthday was on Friday. She woke up in the morning to a happy birthday sign beside her bed with string attached to it. She followed the string through the upstairs and ended up in our bedroom. At the end of the string were 5 clues. She read the clues and was sent on a wild search mission for her presents. There was one in the bathroom sink downstairs, one on the toy kitchen stove, one behind the closet door, and one under Hubby's boxer shorts. She embraced her role as detective.

The Wee Ladies and I went for an amazing hike through the forest. We stopped and had a snack on top of an enormous boulder while gazing into the freshly cut hay field. The views were spectacular.

EvieG had a great day. She got to pick out a gift using the birthday money from Uncle Paul and Aunt Nancy. We had giant, decadent chocolate cookies. We had a fun dinner and birthday cake. And yes. I made another DDM special. And I am not superstitious that I had a 6 shaped cake, with a number 6 candle, and 6 candles on it... This will not (better not) come back to haunt me.

On Saturday we had a great beach bash for her birthday party. We got together with some friends at the beach where the kids played and swam, Eve opened presents, and we had watermelon, cupcakes, and juice. They had a blast. And I didn't know until it was brought to my attention that apparently The Destroyer consumed about 6 juice boxes all to herself. No wonder she couldn't sit still when we went out for dinner afterwards. She was her own version of a super ball.

Now that the birthday is over, EvieG is big. Old. An adult. Tonight she ran upstairs to get me as I was folding laundry and demanded I come downstairs. I went with her only to find a lake on our living room and kitchen floors. She had cleaned the entire downstairs. She washed the dishes in the sink, washed off the table, and folded the blankets. She mopped the floor and then set the table for dinner. I said, "That's great! But we already had dinner!" She replied with, "Oh, right." I told her we could use the dishes for breakfast in the morning. She wasn't done there. She was about to work her way upstairs to clean the whole floor. I was informed that she is really happy to be big now that she is 6. And she is big enough to be just like Cinderella. And Annie. Like Annie told Daddy Warbucks, she is just trying to earn her keep. I gave her $3.00 for doing a bang up job and told her how proud I was that she did all that without me having to ask.

She is like my fairy godmother. She is growing up and all of a sudden making my job that much easier! Cleaning and washing and tidying? I mean how good is that? I hope that magic fairy dust doesn't get blown away too easily. And I hope the demons of the 666 cake don't come and carry my fairy godmother away.

I'll have puberty to thank for that. When she really thinks she's big and knows everything.

All's I'm sayin's all.

Baby Godzilla

2009-07-15T20:56:00.008-04:00

At the beach The Destroyer becomes another creature entirely. She takes her destroying abilities to a whole new level. She stomps, jumps, pushes, and kicks over any sand city, castle, or mound she lays her baby reptile eyes on. I have also discovered that this is a good way to keep her occupied. Build her sand castles that she can pummel with pride and a sense of accomplishment.

We were at the beach for most of the afternoon today. It was a slight overcast, a warm breeze, and not a lot of other beach-goers. Except for the awkward pre teen girls playing Capture the Flag.

EvieG and Spark Plug were very busy adding to the already existing but worn sand castles. One was a tall tower and was surrounded by rocks, one looked like the garbage dump to the tower. And then there was the Fort Knox of all sand castles. Abandoned and vacant of all signs of life, this thing had a secret underground lair. It even had lake weed guarding the entrance like old cob webs.

Enter Baby Godzilla.

The Destroyer emerged from the 3 inches of water with her laser eye vision and fiery breath ready to demolish any perceived structure she could find. It was in her to leave that beach as if it had been combed by the municipal beach groomers. Even the shards of glass would have melted in the path of this monster.

I watched her shove the old tower over, even the dump beside it was flattened to a mere mole mound. Looking around with no remorse whatsoever, she went for her sister's first ever successfully standing pile of sand shaped to the mould of her bright, pink pail. Spark Plug was beaming with confidence. Proud of this achievement, she turned around to add another one to it, clearly with the goal of reproducing Cinderella's castle. As soon as she turned her back, the green Croc, rogue Godzilla stamped in that general direction. Just as she kicked over the castle, Spark Plug turned around to witness its demise. In slow motion, her mouth dropped open and not a sound exited.

I did my best to convince Spark Plug that she could indeed improve upon the previous structure. It worked. She actually carried on, and like any good Doozer, she continued to build. Whew.

In order to maintain her momentum, The Destroyer needed to eat. Between snacks and destruction, she had nothing. It was all I could do to keep her occupied. And so I created little mounds around our area for her to squash. And squash she did. Like Godzilla flattening a neighbourhood, she took out one after the other. And how unfortunate for poor Bambi. Wrong place at the wrong time. Click here to see how it all went down.

Enter Fort Knox.

I looked over to a headless Baby Godzilla. And it wasn't because she lost out to King Kong. She had her head stuck into the depths of the fortress. She was looking for the structural beams so she could narrow down the exact unsupported spot to crush. She even dared to stand on top of Fort Knox and jump up and down like Godzilla on a bus.

During this time, I scanned the beach quickly for any gangly pre teen who would be running over to save the best castle of their life. There was no one. Relief.

Baby Godzilla failed. She did not break into the gold reserves of this fortress. It was out of sheer respect for that pre teen that I pull the chute on the monster. This fortress was made with a raw talent. As I studied its architecture, I could only wish I had it in me to make something so utterly and undeniably cool.

I pulled The Destroyer away. Just like that. I was like that mammoth pterodactyl swooping in for the kill. We battled and wrestled as I got her off and as far away as possible with my giant talons.

Mommy Pterodactyl versus Baby Godzilla.

All's I'm sayin's all.

Back on the grid

2009-07-13T16:10:00.004-04:00

We're back! We had a good trip north and the Wee Ladies have grown several inches I think. Lots of playing, swimming, and mosquitoes. It is the year of the Blasted Prick. But we managed to carry on with the itching, scratching, and After Bite. We made it home and I admitted myself to the Emerg at our local hospital only to be diagnosed with a kidney infection/UTI. I am thrilled.

The north was full of fun and it really is a beautiful place. I was off the grid, didn't even check email for almost 2 weeks. It was grand and liberating to leave it all behind. I got through one novel and started a second, along with catching up on some magazine reading all after the Wee Ladies had gone to bed. Sometimes I would get through a chapter here or there during the day. The Wee Ladies were in bed early most nights after a day full of activity. And here I am during quiet time in the evening-

Bliss.

And then the pain set in. The burning, the pelvic pressure, and discomfort. The stitch in my flank. It wasn't too bad until the last few days there. I suspected what the doctor confirmed. We got home and then because Hubby was away for the night I waited another day to see a doctor. After heading over the the Emerg at our local hospital Saturday night, I peed into a cup, waited, and heard everyone's business. When it was my turn to see the doctor, she told me I had blood in my urine and that I had a kidney infection and UTI. I have never had one of these in my life. I am now on 10 days of antibiotics. Super.

Even though I felt it coming on, I was so busy with the Wee Ladies that I pushed it off to the side, figuring it wasn't a big deal. At least not a 10 day big deal. We moms are always shoving our needs aside. It's what we do. And I didn't say much to anyone as I don't like to complain too much.

I feel tired, exhausted. Sore in my kidney area on my back. I feel badly for not playing as hard as I should be with the Wee Ladies. EvieG told me she forgives me. Thank the skies above for that! A couple more days until the meds kick in and then I hope to bounce back as good as new soon.

Apologies to all of you for not having any guest posts up while I was gone. Nenny with Twins has been funneling around in a life of busy as she takes the twins to their first little day camp. Ever. And it has been good for them, but not good for her as she has had to deal with cranky, unhelpful ferry employees. My heart goes out to her as people make her already crazy day that much more challenging.

Do people really understand how challenging and tiring it is to take care of wee ones all day, everyday? Even if they have been through it themselves? Sometimes I am not so sure. At least we moms have each other.

All's I'm sayin's all.

On holidays

2009-06-30T12:30:00.003-04:00

Well, the time has come for us to head up to Northern Ontario for our annual summer getaway. Thrilled, the Wee Ladies are running around aimlessly, putting in time as they knock over plants, make forts, and surprise birthday parties for their stuffed animals. As cute as this is, it makes packing and organizing harder and more last minute.

I will be offline for a while. But the great news is that Nenny With Twins will be on the site periodically working her magic. Love her. Thanks to her. I will be checking emails occasionally when I am not hanging out with the bears and loons.
I am already a hairy beast in the nether regions and can't wait to see how beastly I will be after 10 days of not brushing my hair or shaving. There will be bathing suits but only with a pair of boxer shorts over top.

I should be packing. Haven't started and am hoping to leave in a couple hours. This is when my multi-tasking abilities are truly tested.

There will be no July Who's DDM until my return mid-month. Sorry about that. But I am sure to have some good material when I get home.

Keep coming back to see what Nenny With Twins is up to.

Insert air horn now.... (HONK!)

Have to keep the bears away.

All's I'm sayin's all.

Understanding toddlerese

2009-06-29T22:18:00.005-04:00

As I was at the sink washing up the dishes this afternoon, Hubby was on our back patio with the Wee Ladies. I had just put some toys back in the toy chest. With my back to the action, I heard:

Spark Plug: Where's my horsey, Daddy?

Hubby: Your horsey?

Spark Plug: Yeah! My horsey!

Hubby: Hmmmm. Your horsey...

Not looking and assuming Hubby didn't know what he or Spark Plug was talking about because I am a mom and am fluent in toddlerese, I piped up without thinking twice:

DDM: It was right in here beside the toy chest. Her purple My Little Pony horsey was on the floor and I just threw it in the chest a second ago.

Hubby: No, that's not her horsey.

DDM: Oh? Well, what is her horsey?

Spark Plug: Horsey! My horsey! Neigh! Neigh!

Hubby: It's my 9 iron.

Of course it is. I should have known better. I may be fluent in the interpretation of the toddlerese language but I clearly have some difficulty understanding its meaning.

Just like when The Destroyer asks for a coffee, which really means "I want another hit of juice." Her drug is sugar; mine is caffeine.

All's I'm sayin's all.

PS Click here to check out my column at Scarlett Lounge.

Life's a beach. Today.

2009-06-26T20:26:00.003-04:00

It is officially summer holidays. School is done and the Wee Ladies are home with me now full time, without breaks, every waking second, no childcare until September. I am torn. One the one hand, I am excited because we get to do lots of fun stuff. On the other hand, I think about how insanely insane I am bound to feel at times with them all running circles around me, all the time. We got our summer off to a good start today. And if we can keep the momentum, we will be fine. I know. It's only been a day. Give it time, you say.

We went to the strawberry patch this morning. Good fun. Like last year, they trampled over the rows of berries, ate all the rotten ones on the ground, and stained their shirts. But hey, at least they will be regular. The Destroyer was found helping out all the elderly folks picking their berries for their freezer jam. She would head over to their baskets and help herself to their fresh picks.

We then made a trip to the beach. I put all 3 Wee Ladies in their life jackets before they even left the van. We took all of our stuff and picked a spot to plant ourselves. The Wee Ladies ran around, made sand castles, played in the waves, and threw rocks in the water. My favourite part? Watching them chase seagulls. Spark Plug announced, "Attack! Attack!" She threw a fist in the air and jetted off after the birds sounding like a rocket launching. The Destroyer follows the seagulls all over the beach; up the hill towards the parking lot, onto the rocks, across other people's blankets with her sand covered Crocs, and up onto the picnic table. She is my loose cannon. EvieG enjoyed the waves and was much easier to watch. She stayed on the shoreline making castles.

We had a visit from friends tonight and we piled the kids into our vehicles and headed for the park. The kids ran around and played for an hour or so and had a blast while we adults talked and got caught up. It was a great visit.

The Destroyer had to bow out of this event as we skipped her afternoon nap. She made it all the way until about 6:30 when she finally crashed at home with Hubby. I think I will try to stick to this new summer schedule of no naps for her. Because if she can make it until that time and go to bed to sleep all night, well then I am all over it. No more of this staying up and running around until 9:00.

I like this summer gig so far. The only issue I can see is keeping the house clean and staying on top of everything that comes with a family of five. Because if we are so busy soaking up the summer sun, then everything else will go into a tailspin. I have to develop a new summer routine. One that breaks up the chores even more. And maybe Hubby will have to help out with some of it in the evening.

We are going away next week. Up north to our annual vacation spot in the northern Ontario wilderness. Hubby is only taking a couple of days off and then driving home. My MIL is staying with us for the rest of the trip. We can't wait. We love it up there. 5 more sleeps.

Right now I am feeling all warm and fuzzy about summer holidays.

Ask me how I feel about it in a few weeks.

All's I'm sayin's all.

Spark Plug turns on her Blue Steel

2009-06-24T20:41:00.004-04:00

Spark Plug calls herself 'big'. She told me the other day how she wants to be big all the time, not little. She is feeling more independent, confident, and proud. This is great and we really saw it today in her nursery school graduation celebration.

Last year she had an end of year celebration at the pre-school she went to. Her class went up on stage and sang their little number. Spark Plug freaked out the entire time while on stage. She stood centre-stage with her arms sticking out straight towards me wailing like I was leaving her there forever. There was so much water streaming down her cheeks that it blurred the bumble bee make up. She was telling me through her panicked breaths that I had clearly put her in an uncomfortable situation and shame on me for making her stand up there.

How the tides have turned.

During today's ceremony, Spark Plug was one step away from performing Zoolander's Blue Steel.
She was on fire, magical, magnificent. I have have never seen a kid work a camera like she did today. She strutted out onto the stage glowing. She beamed at us, clapped her hands, and skipped an extra skip. She sat down in her chair in the front row and enthusiastically smiled her biggest smile to show her pearly whites that she had checked during her first trip to the dentist yesterday. Her little piggy tails wee bouncing as she did the actions for their songs. But before she started getting involved in her performance, her teachers had to capture her attention. Away from the cameras. There she was, sitting in her chair, posing. She was eating it up! I heard the teachers call her name and finally, she took her eyes away from the lens and began the show of her life, singing and actions complete. She received her little certificate. When her name was called, she got up from her chair, walked proudly to her teacher, took the paper, and turned to the camera. In one swift movement, she turned on the smile and looked for the flash. She was complimented by many after the ceremony.

What do I do with this? I am oozing with pride that she is gaining confidence but am scared silly at the same time. Where did this come from? Who told her to turn it up like that? What is it in her that makes her love the stage and flash so much? For a child who is usually quite shy and prickly, it leaves me wondering.

She is growing so quickly. Really. She is even complaining that her legs hurt every now and then. She ate 2 grilled cheese sandwiches, 4 baby carrots, 4 pieces of cucumber, and 2 servings of blueberries for lunch yesterday. Her feet are gigantic. Her legs long. I think she is going to be taller than me, judging by her feet alone, like you would predict the size of a puppy based on its paws.

I am not one to encourage the starlet in them. But as of today this kid seems to have some natural starlet in her. We will just have to make sure that she uses her ability to love the stage and camera for the better. Not in a Miley Cyrus sort of way. Because there is no way that I want the Wee Ladies to go anywhere near that whole 'kid star's are cool' mentality.

I just want them to be them. Even if they are making up their own version of Blue Steel.

All's I'm sayin's all.

Camping in Real Life

2009-06-22T21:32:00.004-04:00

At the request of some, I am writing the follow up to EvieG's camping trip. Click here to read about how she graduated Kindergarten and left for two nights away on her own all in one day. She had a great time, but it wasn't without incident.

EvieG left on Friday evening for a weekend away with the Girl Guides. They slept in a bunkhouse, shared in cleaning duties, sang songs, and did lots of crafts. It was a true camping experience in a team environment. She wants to do it again.

They split them into groups. They were in the same group all weekend. They stayed together and even sat next to each other at the table. Each group was looked after by one adult leader.

There was a girl in EvieG's group who has behavioural issues. I did not know this until we picked her up on Sunday. While EvieG was trying to enjoy her first ever camp experience, she was bullied by this girl on more than one occasion. She was pushed a few times; into the bushes and onto the ground. She was choked by this girl. Twice. Once was hard, but the second time she said she had a hard time breathing. Her spot at the table was next to this girl. Not only was she repeatedly bullied, but she was made to sit with her during meals. This girl was given a time-out for 'about a half hour' as discipline.

When we got out of the van at the camp, a little girl came running to me and squealed, "Ask EvieG about getting choked!" I thought, What? What kind of camping trip was this? I asked one of the leaders to fill me in on what this little girl was referring to. She told me that indeed EvieG was choked and that this girl was disciplined. She also told me that she had been a problem all year; that there was a discussion among the leaders whether or not to even let this child participate in the trip. And EvieG was in the wrong place at the wrong time?

We are in the process of following up with the leaders.

1. Why was the child allowed to attend when she has a history of behavioural problems?

2. Why was she not sent home after she was violent with EvieG the first time?

3. Why were they not split up and put into different groups?

I fear for EvieG's safety. I am upset that this could have soured EvieG's perception of camping. I am disappointed that there was a lack of firm action taken with this child, who was obviously a threat to other kids. I am disappointed that there was a discussion about this child prior to the trip and the decision was to let her participate. I am upset that it takes one child to ruin it for someone else.

I think EvieG will want to participate again next year. But only if this child is not going to be a part of it. If she is, then I will keep EvieG home. She enjoyed the time away and said she didn't want to come home. She wanted to stay. I am happy she can cope and move on. Good for her.

It made me very uneasy and all I can do is follow up and express my concern to those in charge. Because if the safety of a child is put at risk by another child, well then, to me it is an easy decision.

Keep the problem child away.

All's I'm sayin's all.

Strawberries+butter tarts=this year's challenge

2009-06-18T19:23:00.003-04:00

My mom is here visiting us for a few days. We are all happy to have her and are enjoying our visit. I am spending quality time with her and will therefore be off the radar until next week.

I apologize for the lack of new posts, but I will post a few from the archives.

Today's selection is U-Pick, a hit from last July. Strawberry season is upon us. My mom brought us 4 containers yesterday and they are almost all gone. She also brought homemade butter tarts.

Last year I attempted to make jam. It was a frustrating experience but I came out with a satisfactory batch. This year, EvieG has requested strawberry tarts, thanks to Grandma bringing the strawberries and the butter tarts. I don't know. I had a hard enough time with jam, let alone getting all fancy with jellied tarts. But who cares how they turn out, right? I would make them solely for bragging rights. 10 years from now, she will be sitting with her friends comparing notes about their mothers. And she will recall proudly, "My mom totally did everything from scratch. She used to make like the yummiest strawberry tarts. She was like huge into cooking in season, you know? And those tarts were to die for!" I will have done my job well; convincing beyond a reasonable doubt that everything was like totally homemade.

What she won't remember is Tenderflake and strawberry Jello with frozen berries mixed in, cooked at 35o degrees for 10 minutes. With a heaping pile of ReddiWip on top.

All's I"m sayin's all.

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

U-Pick

I have never canned anything in my life. I just eat the preserves of my Mom and MIL. This year, I decided to do something myself. We are strawberry freaks, so I decided I would make my first batch of strawberry jam.

I took the Wee Ladies to the strawberry patch. Luckily for me, a friend of mine came along with her daughters. This meant more eyes on the Wee Ladies. We got there, grabbed our baskets and went to work.

The girls picked randomly along the rows. I was slow and precise. My girlfriend is a strawberry picking machine. She was half a row ahead of me at all times. EvieG was also precise and when she brought me her basket, I noticed she had already picked off all the green stems. She presented them to me like they should have been on a plate with chocolate sauce dabbled across them. Cut and prepared. Ready to serve. Spark Plug spent most of the time trampling over the plants, picking berries, and then placing them in her basket only to remove them to her mouth. She left with an empty basket and a full tummy. The Destroyer picked up the mushed berries from in between the rows and ate them. She left with dirty fingers, a dirty face, a full tummy, and a possible illness. She came out unscathed.
We took them home and I put the flat on the counter. I stared at it for a day, deciding if in fact I was really going to tackle this whole jam-thing. I went out and bought the jars. I then needed the Pectin crystals. I was looking at the options. There was the regular Certo, the Certo Light, and the new No Sugar Needed Certo. Hmmmmmm......The regular is like spreading several cavities on your toast. The light is, well, a couple of cavities, and the no sugar version is a little added unsweetened apple juice. That was probably the best choice for the kids. The healthiest choice by far.
I got up Saturday morning all hell-bent on making the best batch of jam ever. Better than Grandma's. And I had this new, healthy way of doing it too. No extra sugar needed. Jam's best kept secret that no on knew about, except me.

I washed the berries and took the stems off. I heated the jars and lids. I squashed the berries and measured them according to the recipe. I added the juice and the crystals. I cooked them for 3 minutes and stirred until all was dissolved. I ladled the jam into the jars and sealed them. I labeled the lids and waited for them to 'pop' to tell me I was better than Grandma. I proudly displayed the jars full of healthy red goodness for all to see. I let it sit and settle for 24 hours.
During this process I had to deal with 2 hungry crying babies. I had to prepare lunch, stir, and ladle all at the same time. I was a stressed out, multi-tasking monster. There was jam everywhere, jars everywhere, and snot everywhere. And my whispies were fully flying.

What I forgot to do in this jam session was the most important, vital thing that all Grandma's do when cooking. Taste the stuff. I missed this part. But at least I followed the recipe to a tee. That is one thing I never do. But I did this time.

Sunday morning rolls in and I, proud mom, 'pops' open my first jar of strawberry jam ever. Hubby was there for my inauguration into the "Mommy Who Can Can" club. I put in my teaspoon and all cocky like, scooped out a heaping mouthful, opened my mouth and....."Oh, my god. That's......not good.....oh, man, that...is...in...need....of...some...major....SUGAR." I was so devastated. Hubby took a bite and said, "Ummmmm, that's.....pretty bad. You know, we aren't diabetic. We don't need the no sugar version. You should have just made the real stuff. Like Grandma." CRAP! Ya, like Grandma.

I composed myself, tasted it again, and added several teaspoons of sugar. Ahhhhh, that was better.

My ego was popped along with the lids on the jam jars. I thought I had moved up the crafty mommy chain by making some real homemade jam, on-the-stove-from-scratch. Just like Grandma. But I totally botched it. Like my $12.80 in strawberries, I was crushed.

So my diabetic Father-in-Law is now a proud new owner of 8 jars of unsweetened strawberry jam.
There was no reason AT ALL to divert from Grandma's way. There is something to be said about the classic baked goods we grew up with. It is real. It is pure. There was none of this no sugar bulls#*t. Why did I think I had to get all on my high horse thinking that my kids would be any healthier because they had a teaspoon of no-friggin-sugar-strawberry-jam on their toast? Whatever, I say to myself. I should have put in the darn sugar and done it right the first time. Don't chince on the good stuff. I make my cookies from scratch and I always use real butter, sugar, and chocolate. As some guy on the Food Network said, "Make it like Grandma's."
So I will. I went out to the strawberry patch yesterday. Instead of picking them myself, I bought the flat this time. I paid more, but it was worth avoiding the gigantic headache of monitoring the Wee Ladies in the field. I am going to do it right this time. With some sugar..and maybe a couple extra teaspoons just to make it extra sweet. The above picture is what I used the first time around. Under it is what I should have used the first time around.
It's like I'm all 17 again rebelling against Grandma. Trying to prove that my way was the best way. Only to learn that I was wrong again. As I have heard a million times, "You should always listen to your mother." I'm 33 and it still hasn't sunk in.

Will the Wee Ladies do the same thing to me?

All's I'm sayin's all.

Labels: Battle, DDM, Family, Hubby

posted by Dress Down Mom # 9:40 AM

Comments:

okay if you can make jam then I know I can overcome my fearof possibly poisoning my children. I am so scared to try stuff out of my element when it comes to my little guys but I think they need to have all natural and less perservatives in their diet. Also it will give me a reason to procrastinate on cleaning - again!

# posted by Anonymous : July 12, 2008 7:48 PM

Your father-in-law is a happy man though! The thing is you tried, and next time you will know what to do:) I think it's awesome that you tried at all with little ones in the house.

# posted by Brenda Jean : July 13, 2008 9:22 AM

Public Washroom Intolerance

2009-06-16T20:22:00.005-04:00

There is nothing I dislike more than public restrooms. They are germ harbouring stations that keep illnesses spreading like wildfire. I have three Wee Ladies with small bladders. Having to take them into a public washroom always gives me the hee-bee-gee-bees.

I can be a bit of a germ freak. I hate constant sickness. And with three kids, I do everything in my power to avoid illness. Not only because it means discomfort for the Wee Ladies, but more because it makes my life a living hell for a few days. I like to be on my best game, you know.

A trip to the public washroom consists of several dozen, "Don't touch anything!" And "Don't touch that! Ah, ah, ah, ah, no!" I lead them into the stall. I look in all unoccupied cubicles before selecting the cleanest one. I practically put the Wee Ladies in between my legs to guarantee they don't put their hands anywhere gross. I slather the seat with thousands of layers of toilet paper, covering every inch of the seat. I don't trust toilet seat covers. They never work. They are too loose; too unpredictable. I pick up the child, place her on the seat, and place her hands in her lap so her fingers don't go over the edge of the seat and touch the bowl. They do their business. I then pick them up to put them back together again. I flush the toilet. With my foot. I barely touch the latch to open and lock the stall door. I usually use my shirt. If it is a short-sleeved shirt I use the bottom of my t-shirt.

We get to the sinks and wash our hands. I cringe if they are not sensored. That means I have to touch the taps. I use my elbow to get the soap and then I lather us all up and rinse. We drip dry and then I use my shirt again to leave the bathroom. I always sigh with relief when I leave a public bathroom.

So what if the taps are manual, you ask? And you have to turn the taps off after washing your hands already? Easy. I use my Bath and Body Works hand sanitizer when I get to the car.

What happens if the bathroom is out of soap?

That's when I bring out the anti-bacterial wipes that I have stashed in the centre console of the van. Or the ones under the passenger seat. You can usually find some in the day bag too.

The worst is when you ask the Wee Ladies if they have to go to the bathroom and only one says yes. And then after going through the whole rig-a-ma-roll, the other says, "I have to go tinkles, Mom!" Ugh. No wonder my hands look and feel like sand paper. Because I all ever do is wash them.

Some of you might call me anal. Some might accuse me of being partially responsible for perpetuating all these super bugs because I am overly concerned with germs sometimes. Well, you know what? So what? I need to function. I can't afford to have three Wee Ladies barfing all night long because I slacked off in the bathroom routine at the Tim Horton's. So if I go overboard in avoiding the germs that thrive in the public loo, well then so be it.

All's I'm sayin's all.

Dora DVD Winner

2009-06-15T20:52:00.002-04:00

Congrats to J.C. who won the newly released Dora the Explorer: Super Babies' Dream Adventure! Thanks to everyone who submitted their name.

There will be more! Both giveaways and blogs. Today was an exceptionally busy day with the Wee Ladies and so I will be writing a regular blog post tomorrow.

I am going to bed.

All's I'm sayin's all.

EvieG graduates and leaves me all in one day

2009-06-12T18:59:00.005-04:00

This has been a truly momentous day for EvieG. This means me too, only mine was more emotional. EvieG had her Kindergarten Graduation this afternoon. And then add to it shipping her off on a bus for 2 days tonight. This makes for one anxious DDM. It's like she went out and got all big girl on me in a day.

Her Kindergarten ceremony was the cutest. She was up on stage in her pretty dress, stockings, and tattered running shoes (her 'indoor' shoes). She has a graduation cap made from black Bristol board. I felt like this was her big grad, her big, shining moment where next would come interviews and internships. But no. This is only the first academic milestone that put my heart into a state of elation, happiness, pride, and anxiety all at the same time. She sang songs, recited a poem, and she received her diploma. And I was the sap in the back welling; trying my hardest not to burst into fits of tears. I was relieved when they darkened the room for the slide show so I could wipe my eyes. They celebrated with cupcakes. I refrained since I am all detox and stuff. But I did start salivating like one of Pavlov's dogs when I passed the cake-mix-goodness with sparkles. We made a big deal about this and even took her out for dinner. She wasn't hungry. I guess it was Betty Crocker's fault.

We went home and got her all set for her camping trip. She is going with her Girl Guide group an hour away and is going to sleep in her sleeping bag in a bunkhouse. She is ecstatic about this adventure. Me, I am torn. I am happy she wanted to be a part of this trip. She begged me over and over to let her go. I kept saying that I would talk to Hubby. We decided to ask some other parents of the wee girls and it seemed that many of them were sending their girls. So we decided to support this confidence and independence. We let her go. For the whole 2 nights. We drive to pick her up on Sunday.

We packed together yesterday. We used our Royal Blue Coleman cooler to pack all her stuff in. It has an easy, flip up lid, and can be pulled on its wheels. Very convenient. Ten bucks says someone's going to say, "Oh goodie! Who remembered the case of OV?" The cooler minus the cold ones didn't fit her pillow or waterproof seat, so we tied those to the cooler with bungee cords. Awesome. I sat with her, organized everything, labeled with permanent marker, and packed it all up. We went over the rules about camp several times. All the while, my heart was flitting with anxiety.

And then she left.

We signed her in, put her on the bus, and blew our thousand kisses. She was so excited she barely said good-bye. In fact, she kind of dissed Hubby. She gave him a quick hug, only because I told her too and said, "Bye, Daddy!" She gave me a bit more than that but she was really ready to go. I was emotional again, welling, and the whole bit, and even had a bit of a cry after they pulled out of the parking lot.

If we had said no to this excursion, she would have been heartbroken. So here I am as I write this missing my EvieG enormously as she is settling into her first real away experience. She is strong and independent. We would never want to squash that. We want to nurture that in her. I am just worried for her as she goes on her own.

This whole parenthood thing really tests our emotional strength. As I was bringing The Destroyer and Spark Plug upstairs for their bath, I thought Man! This is only the first child! We have 2 more to go though all of this with! They are going to do me in! It's worse than a made-for-TV-movie!

This is the first academic achievement and trip away from home for EvieG. All in one day. She really is growing quickly and with that I am trying hard to cherish her time as a little girl because before we know it, she will be tossing her graduation cap into the air in her gown and then be gone.

All's I'm sayin's all.

PS Click here to enter to win an newly released Dora DVD!

The receipt was as long as my arm

2009-06-11T20:48:00.005-04:00

I am just over a week into my rebooting. Click here for some background. I am doing well with this and feel a lot better. I have lost 5 lbs so far. Can I keep it up? If my bank account doesn't dry up first. If my receipts keep growing in length like they are, then I am in trouble.

I am eating a crapload of fresh veggies like salad with olive oil and flax seed, tomatoes, cucumber, broccoli, asparagus, and cauliflower. Tons of fruit too like strawberries, pineapple, melon, and oranges. I have been adding some tuna, salmon, sole, and beef to the mix. Also, yogurt and cottage cheese. I am drinking my 8 glasses of water a day which has been great. It keeps me full and was not as hard to do as I thought it would be.

So no bread. Or sugar, coffee, or alcohol. And really, it hasn't been too awful. In all honesty, I do crave coffee in the morning. Every morning. Today I had a mint tea. I don't crave beer or wine. I do crave bread. Spark Plug and I made chocolate chip cookies this afternoon and I did sneak some cookie dough. And had a bite of a baked cookie, just to make sure it turned out alright. I could feel my mouth start to salivate. And after the bite, I did want more. But I did not cave in.

I am continuing this for another week, at which time I return to Holistic Lady and have a debriefing. I wonder what she will say?

Here is the kicker. Buying this much fresh food is expensive! I am shocked at how much I spent when I bought everything for this menu. My receipt was probably the equivalent of a small forest. It was seriously as long as my arm from my shoulder to the tips of my fingers. We have gone through most of the food and I went shopping last Friday. Here we are not even a week later and I had to go back to the grocery store this morning to replenish most of the produce. It costs a lot for uber healthy eating. We are going to have to really watch what we buy after this 2 week diet is done. Maybe be a bit pickier as far as what I stock the fridge with; a little more bland with our menu but still try and maintain the good health.

I thought I would buy almond butter for the Wee Ladies until I read that it costs $7.69.

The important thing is that I am getting myself back on track. Hubby says I am smiling more. This is good. I have a better perspective and am calmer. I am more patient and even tempered and it has only been a week. Holistic Lady told me that this would likely happen.

If I keep this routine up, or a version of, what will I feel like after a month? 3 months? I am going to try to stick to it. I want to see how I will change as I keep going.

I hope to scour for spare change for those local strawberries instead of the grande mild coffee with double cream.

All's I'm sayin's all.

PS As a follow up to the last post- Spark Plug and The Destroyer are sleeping amazingly well now that we blacked out their window. Thanks to the staple gun that made it happen.

PPS Don't forget to click here to enter to win a new Dora DVD!

Black out

2009-06-09T21:07:00.004-04:00

We have had some trouble sleeping around here. Not so much trouble, I guess. It is more of a I'm-up-waaaaay-too-early kind of problem. Just 5 more minutes doesn't apply here. It is the I-didn't-even-hear-the-rooster-call-baby-and-there-is-no-way I find myself saying every morning. Spark Plug and The Destroyer share a room and are up at the crack of the first ray of sun, even when it pushes its way through the cloud cover. We put a stop to this crazy, insane nonsense.

They are slowly killing me. They must be melatonin-deficient. Not only do they insist on pushing back their bedtime as far as possible, but then, when I think there is nothing to worry about because they will sleep in- it all comes crashing down on my head like a lead bar. And that is how my head feels in the morning when they come barreling into our room asking for their breakfast on a silver platter even before the birds start chirping. And there I am. One leg and arm dangling off the side of the bed as I lay on my stomach, mouth open with drool as I moan groggily, while spewing out the sweetest scented morning breath, "You have got to be kidding me!" Snarf as drool is wiped. "This has to stop! Someone tell that sun that I am going to kick him where the sun don't shine! Hard! And tell him to give me just 5 more minutes. Then maybe I'll rethink my negative actions. And no Spark Plug. I am not going to go and get you a banana. How could you possibly be hungry at this ungodly hour?"

Hubby and I came to a mutual agreement. We decided to black out their windows. Their room could be successfully hidden from any enemy. The Gremlins could thrive here.

I went and picked out some fabric. And a staple gun. We lined the fabric on the back of the shutters. We doubled it over. We pulled the trigger. I put pillow cases along the cracks at the bottom of the blind to block out any light spilling through. We closed the blinds, closed the door, and stood in silence, staring at the blacked out windows. We sighed in unison.

I hope that for the love of my intact but fragile emotional state, the 2 of them sleep through past the point of where the first ray kisses their cheeks and lifts their lids through the shutters. I hope that for the love of my efforts to rid my caffeine withdrawal headaches, they are kind enough to ignore the automatic pilot that jump starts them every morning, look at their blacked out window and say, "Oh, it's still dark! I think I will snooze a little longer."

This just might work.

And then EvieG will end up getting up at the first sign of dawn. Either the others will sense her presence and follow suit, or she will end up going downstairs to clang around in the kitchen as she makes breakfast for everyone. And then they will be up honing in on her territory, which will lead to screaming and whining and crying.

One way or the other, it is likely I will not win. Unless I make another trip for more fabric. And staple gun EvieG's blinds shut too. I just might have to....

Would it be possible then that I would have to set the alarm?

All's I'm sayin's all.

PS Click here to enter to win the Dora DVD Giveaway! See the post below for more details!

Dora the Explorer DVD Giveaway

2009-06-08T21:08:00.005-04:00

Enter to win the new Dora the Explorer: Super Babies' Dream Adventure DVD!

This DVD includes 4 new-to-DVD episodes, featuring the Super Babies' Dream Adventure where Dora reads a Super Babies story to her baby twin brother and sister that takes them on a naptime adventure. As the babies are getting ready for their nap, the Dream Fairy fails to show up because she is still asleep. Audience participation helps the Super Babies as they try to wake up the fairy so she can deliver all the good naptime dreams.

The other three episodes are, "Dora Helps the Birthday Wizzle", "Pirate Treasure Hunt" and "Benny's Treasure". The Wee Ladies enjoyed all of these episodes and eagerly participated through each one. In true Dora style, they are encouraged to interact with the characters and plot.

This DVD retails for a suggested US$16.99. It has a running time of 95 minutes.

Click here to enter! I will select the winner at random next Monday, June 15.

All's I'm sayin's all.

PS June's Who's DDM? is up and running.

June Who's DDM?

2009-06-08T14:43:00.001-04:00

Who's DDM? for this month is up. Click here to check it out.

I will be blogging tonight when I have more time. Stay tuned!

All's I'm sayin's all.

Curb the crave

2009-06-04T20:46:00.004-04:00

I am rebooting my system. Officially. I went to see a Holistic nutritionist last night and she is now the person who will provide me with a plan that consists of foods I can tolerate. Because after I left there, the only thing I can pretty much eat is dairy and barley. I am going to cleanse my system.

I have a history of intolerances. My brothers tease me about it all the time. I can't eat this and I can't touch that. I do not have any severe, life threatening allergies, but there are foods that my body tries to pick a fight with and sucker punches occasionally. The past few years I have become careless and have eaten more of the foods that I should be avoiding. The result is now sluggishness, hormone imbalances, fatigue, and irritability. I have been a real peach to live with. I can't eat those either. I have a stone-fruit allergy.

Some could argue that this is motherhood making me like this. It is to a certain degree, but it is out of character for me to break into tears at 3 am when I am supposed to be sleeping. I never have issues sleeping. Ever.

I made the call. The call for support to get my body rid of all the crap and start putting in what it likes. And cocoa isn't on that list either. Or alcohol. Or coffee. I'm screwed. She told me my body is not happy with me right now. It is like it is giving me the silent treatment. Like it's telling me to talk to the hand cause the face ain't listening.

This isn't forever. And it's not like I am going all Jekyll and Hyde every time I eat something that is not in the 'cool crowd' according to my body. I am detoxing and cleansing so in the end I will be able to eat whatever I want.

She tested me for food intolerances. She is making me a meal plan to abide by for the next 2 weeks. I don't have it yet. I am to drink 8 glasses of water today. I actually did it. From consuming a couple of coffees and a glass of wine and maybe a glass of water, I went over the 8 glass limit today. And it wasn't too hard, after I put my mind to it. I am dehydrated, calcium-deficient, zinc deficient, and a sugar/caffeine addict. I have had a headache all day as I go through withdrawal; as my body drop kicks the toxins away from my general area.

I love sweets. Anything starchy and sweet. Or chocolaty. I am that girl who without fail, walks down the cereal aisle and slows down to gawk at the sugar cereals. Every time. I never cave in to those, but I am sometimes very close. And it wouldn't be for the Wee Ladies. Oh, no. It would be all for me. I would hide it in its special place- 2 boxes behind the Brownberry Stuffing and to the right of the 5 lb bag of potatoes. Honey Comb, Sugar Puffs, Lucky Charms..... ooooh. Oh, and Count Chocula. For us, it is actually in reality a lot of fruit, granola bars, yogurt, teddy bear crackers, and whole grain everything. This is why I thought we were doing alright with our food and sugar intake. Apparently what I thought was good sugar, or low sugar, is still too much sugar. I never went for the Viva Puffs or Wagon Wheels, although I slow down in that aisle too. Holistic Lady looked at the menu I provided. "But there's hardly any vegetables on here!" she scolded. I said, "Well, we always have veggies for dinner." In her German accent, she sternly responded with, "That's not enough." OK, you win. I need to work on it.

So we are all going to get an overhaul; the Wee Ladies and Hubby indirectly. We will be living by a relatively wheat-free, fish-filled menu with I'll-have-veggies-with-that. And there is no dessert until you have eaten dinner. And dessert will be something like lentils, rice cakes, or Spitz sunflower seeds. Nuts are forbidden. I am legitimately allergic to tree nuts and mildly to soy and peanuts. I always eat PB and have increased my soy intake greatly over the past few months. I guess my body hadn't decided to let those things back into the cool club.

I am going to keep progress reports on this journey over the next few months as I straighten myself out. I will keep you up to date with what I am doing to make my life healthier. I want to have the energy to keep up with the Wee Ladies. I don't want to be moody like I have been at times.

I don't want to be as acidic as the litmus paper told me I am. Because according to Holistic Lady, that's when the toxins take over. And that is when you increase your chances of hitting up the Marble Orchard before your time. I don't want people to say, "Well, she was nice. But she could have avoided it. She should have said no to that last Timbit."

Plus, I don't like the word acidic. I don't want to be full of acid. That would make me poisonous.

Hiss.

All's I'm sayin's all.

Crest Oral B Blogger Challenge Complete

2009-06-03T20:17:00.003-04:00

I was asked to participate in a one-month challenge by Oral B and Crest. I went to the dentist before beginning this challenge to get an overall report of the current state of my mouth. I then used both Oral B and Crest products over the course of a month and then after the elapsed time, I returned to the dentist to see if there was any improvement in my mouth.

When I went to the dentist, they told me my overall oral health was good. But I have a mild case of gingivitis. Most of it is in between my teeth. My plaque and tartar levels are fine. But the gingivitis is there because I am not a consistent flosser. I only floss when I feel lots of build-up between my teeth. This is not a good habit to be in. I made a pact with myself to start flossing regularly after this challenge was over.

For the next month, I used the Oral B Vitality Precision electric toothbrush. I brushed twice a day. I brushed for the allotted two minutes. After the two minutes were up, the toothbrush would change its speed and rhythm to let me know I was done. There was only one speed for this brush.

In the morning I used the new Crest Pro Health Day toothpaste. It is a blue, minty gel with a mild gritty texture. At night I used the Crest Pro Health Night toothpaste. This is a thicker minty toothpaste and was even more textured than the day product. It felt like there was even more sand mixed into it. These fluoride toothpastes work to whiten teeth, freshen breath and battle cavities, gingivitis, plaque, sensitivity (hot and cold), and tartar.

Once I finished brushing, I used Crest Pro Health Antiseptic Oral Rinse. This is an alcohol free rinse that is supposed to kill germs that cause bad breath, plaque, and gingivitis. I was also to use the Crest Glide floss, but because I wasn’t a regular flosser, the dentist told me to continue my normal routine in order to get the most accurate results for this challenge. So I only used the floss when I felt I needed to.

I stuck to this challenge really well. I did what I was supposed to do without problems, even though 2 minutes sometimes seemed like forever with the Wee Ladies running around in the morning.

I liked the toothbrush. It got to all of the teeth and polished well. My mouth felt really clean using it. I charged it every 3 days or so, when it started to slow down in speed. I like to really give my tongue a good cleaning with my toothbrush. I felt that the small head of this brush did not do as good a job as my manual toothbrush. I also found that after this challenge was over, my gums and teeth felt more sensitive to the touch and to hot and cold temperatures. I concluded that I could have pressed too hard while I was brushing. I have not continued to use the electric toothbrush and have gone back to my manual toothbrush where I feel I can control my brushing a little bit better.

I am still using the Pro Health Day toothpaste. It feels and tastes fresh. It is light and makes my mouth feel clean. It makes me feel good about starting the day without really bad morning breath. I think it has a tangy taste to it and the minty flavour doesn’t seem to last long. It does the trick though.

The Pro Health Night toothpaste is a real hum-dinger of a toothpaste. It is thick and creamy and grainy. You brush your teeth with this stuff and you really feel like you are giving your mouth the gears. It leaves you feeling really clean and it’s almost like you can see the coffee stains disappearing. It is more heavy duty as far as the sandy texture and the only thing I worry about, after having discussed this with people in the dental field, is how it affects the enamel on my teeth. I will not use this long-term, but will get it out a couple of times a year to give my teeth the what-for; to whiten and brighten them.

The Pro Health rinse is great. I never used a rinse, but I do now. Twice a day. I swish and gargle for 30 seconds after I brush in the morning and after I brush and floss at night. It leaves me feeling super clean, like if I were to smile in the mirror, my teeth would give that shiny little sparkle and include the dinging sound like in the cartoons. I feel like the germs are dying on contact with this stuff. I am on my second bottle. And I bought the big size.

I always used Oral B Satin floss. Not anymore. I love the Crest Glide floss. It is thicker, doesn’t cut my gums as easily, and had a hint of mint. It is gentler on my gums and shows more evidence of food. I am a fan of this floss and it is now my floss of choice.

I went back to the dentist for my ‘after’ appointment to see if my gingivitis had improved. It has a little bit. The biggest problem area is at the back of my mouth in between the molars. Hey, it is a step in the right direction. I’ll take it. My biggest problem is the lack of flossing, which I am already improving on. I have been flossing almost everyday since the challenge. They told me that once I start flossing more, I will see a noticeable difference in my oral health.

I thank Oral B and Crest for this opportunity to try out some new products. I will gladly use the rinse and floss consistently. The toothpastes are products I will use sporadically. I will not use the Vitality Precision toothbrush regularly. I am definitely more of a manual toothbrush person.

This challenge made me more aware of the time I spend on my teeth and has helped me establish an improved routine for maintaining a decent level of oral health. My gingivitis hopefully will continue to get better. More than anything, this challenge finally got me to floss regularly. That is amazing. I finally realized that I can take the time to brush thoroughly, rinse, and floss, and not miss out on anything.

All's I'm sayin's all.

PS I included this post over in DDM's Try Ons with pictures. Click here to see it over there.

Should I dare ask about a level 5 camping trip?

2009-06-01T20:09:00.011-04:00

We went to Florida tonight. What a great trip it was to the backyard! We didn't actually leave the house, but talked a lot about it! I am glad EvieG and Spark Plug enjoyed the process of planning, packing, and finding their passports.

EvieG announced that she and Spark Plug were off to the van and then to the airport with the intention of landing in Florida where they would walk to Grandma's Florida house. This then changed to Grandma picking them up at the airport because they didn't want to get lost, or carry their luggage very far.

The bags contained their stuffed animals, books, a toy microphone because you never know when they might get a gig, one toothbrush, a hairbrush, and the handle to the Swiffer 360. Good thing they remembered that because you never know when you might have to clean all around you, or who you might sit next to on the plane. I always thought something like this would be useful if you needed to swat the person next to you.

We went to our travel folder in the filing cabinet and retrieved our passports from 2006. Spark Plug was born in 2006. She was only a few months old in her photo. Her passport is up for renewal this year which is a good thing because if we had to travel anywhere right now, they probably wouldn't let her through security. The picture bears no resemblance to her whatsoever and I would likely be detained, we would miss our flight, and then I would have to deal with the over-exhaustion of the Wee Ladies in an airport and on a plane. All I would want is a box of Timbits for them but instead I would probably be questioned about the legitimacy of my daughter, to which I would tell them all about how I gained 60 lbs, had her, lost it when I got pregnant again, probably around the same time her passport picture was taken, and then tossed out a third kid a few months after that. They would see that the only other traveling I have done is going over the border to Detroit to buy Cookie Crisp cereal at Target. I wouldn't have to have a mug shot taken. They could just use my passport photo.

I asked if I was going too. EvieG told me that they had to get to the airport somehow; that she didn't know how to drive the van. I was in my robe! I hadn't packed yet! And then the trip to Florida morphed into a camping trip out in the backyard after EvieG confessed in my ear that she was 'just pretending'. I was still sitting and staring at the passport pictures during this confession. I was just about to go upstairs and pull out my home-waxing kit before throwing my flip flops and bathing suit in a bag.

She and Spark Plug proceeded to lug out 2 kitchen table chairs, a quilt, the electric vacuum for the 'quick' jobs, a rock to keep the vacuum upright, and one of Hubby's hiking boots, to set the camping mood. They worked well together as the attempted to assemble their tent. They were adamant that they were going to sleep outside. I asked, "How will you stay dry? It's going to rain tonight." EvieG replied by getting the dry cleaning plastic from over a sweater I picked up today. She had her fly ready to go. She even put sticky tape over the hole where the hanger stuck out. MENSA.

It is about 8 degrees Celsius right now and she did this whole assembly in nothing but her underwear. She didn't even notice the goose bumps rising all over her little body. Spark Plug was out there in her polyester Dora nightie and pink floral socks. Tough Cookies.

We finally pulled the chute on them. We had to break the news gently. The trip was over. The camping trip was done. The tent was not quite there, but almost. There is time to work on it tomorrow. EvieG was so disappointed. She said, "But Mom, this is a level 2 camping trip!"

I said, "A what?"

"A level 2 camping trip!" she retorted. "A level 1 is the tent in the living room. A level 2 is in the backyard! And a level 3 is in the front yard! I have only ever done a level 1!"

Confused, I then demanded clarification. "Well then, what is a level 4?"

Looking at me like I am the dumbest person in the world, she matter-of-factly responded with, "That's in my room."

Wow. That would be a huge challenge, a level 4. I don't know if she could survive that high demanding, uncomfortable, test-you-to-your-core-in-the-wilderness-tactical camping trip, or anyone else for that matter. It just might be unbearable. She might not come out alive. Never mind the skunks and coyotes. The monster in the closet might come and get her. It might be worse than Survivor.

MENSA.

All's I'm sayin's all.

PS Speaking of travel, click here to check out my column at Scarlett Lounge!

PPS I had fun doing the GAWK 'n TOO but it took me the rest of the weekend to recover. I am out of practice.

DDM Call: G.A.W.K. 'n T.O.O!

2009-05-29T13:44:00.006-04:00

Whoop! Whoop! It is going to be a great night! This DDM is going away without kids to tie one on with her pals. I call this the G.A.W.K. 'n T.O.O. It's like its own bird call, similar to a rooster call, only with less syllables. It has been a while since I have whooped it up in style. And I am going all out tonight, friends.

It was Auntie Lisa's birthday yesterday. Happy birthday to her! Tonight is the shin dig of a celebration. How are we going to do it up? Disco Bowling. Followed by the pub. I am going to be with my people, whooping it up with retro tunes, beers, and outfits to match. Nenny with Twins, Mamacita, and a bunch of other pals smashing pins at the end of the lane with the strobe lights, disco balls, and A-Ha in the background. Or Platinum Blonde. Maybe Naked Eyes, Stacey Q, or Extreme. I will be in my happy place.

When life gets busy with the Wee Ladies, I can sometimes feel stifled and exhausted. I feel like I need an outlet. And so I seize these opportunities when I can go out without kids. And then the demons are unleashed. I talk a million miles a minute, gossip, discuss life as it is now, reminisce about days and parties past, and enjoy my friends. I am so excited I could explode.

I was talking to Nenny with Twins this afternoon. She reminded me to bring my disposable bowling socks. And convinced me that I MUST grab myself a Mocha Frappuccino from Starbucks. I have never had one of these concoctions, but I will give it a go. Sushi for dinner, party tonight, and retail therapy tomorrow en route home. Sigh-of-relief...

And so I send out my GAWK 'n TOO call to my fellow DDM's; to those I will see tonight and to those who I will not, but encourage you to execute your own time away sometime soon to keep your sanity intact.

DDM CALL: GAWK 'n TOO! WHOOP! WHOOP! GAWK 'n TOO!

All's I'm sayin's all.

PS Congratulations to K.B. who won the Huggies Pure and Natural Diaper giveaway! Thanks to everyone for participating! There are more giveaways coming your way in the next few days so keep checking back!

PPS Have a fun weekend and thanks for reading!

Where's the cup he used in baseball?

2009-05-27T19:12:00.004-04:00

The after-dinner roughhousing between Hubby and the Wee Ladies is always entertaining. He is like a Ninja who is fighting off the enemy. They keep coming at him, even after they have been tossed down. They get back up and come at him again with different moves from different angles. He is sometimes left vulnerable. He should be wearing armour. Or a plastic cup.

And what a workout this roughhousing is for him. He can get full strength training completed in just a few minutes. By bench pressing, doing leg lifts, core training, and bicep curls, squatting, and ham string curls, he finishes it off with some clean and presses. The Wee Ladies make for perfect free weights as they are lifted and tossed about the room.

Sometimes he gets kicked and hit in the wrong places, if you know what I mean. He gets a real beating from the three of them sometimes. He tries to keep himself safe, but it doesn't always work.

And so tonight, as they were all roughhousing, he got gas-pedaled in the you-know-where. He grimaced, rolled up into fetal position, and cried out like he would have after being kicked in the bits by a girl in grade school. I could only cringe and hold the Wee Ladies off momentarily as they snorted and dug and pounded their hoofs in, ready to go at him again full steam.

And all EvieG could say to him, obviously not knowing the reason for his painful outcry, was, "Daddy. Protect yourself!"

And all he could do was look at me and beg for mercy.

All's I'm sayin's all.

The teddy bear is always crashing the party

2009-05-25T21:13:00.005-04:00

EvieG should be in event planning. She covers all of the details and misses nothing when planning her weddings, birthday parties, and tea parties. I should get her one of those headsets to wear so she remembers to cue Pachelbel's Canon. She invited me to another one of her smashing events.

She prepared and set up a mom/daughter tea party outside. While I was trying to win the laundry battle by getting myself up to being only 2 baskets behind, EvieG was organizing and taking several trips outside to a shady spot under the tree out front.

Here is what she prepared for us:

We have the blanket from the couch, along with the cushions. She carried out the fruit bowl because we know that no tea party is complete without the bananas. She remembered the teddy bear whose sole role in life is to sit around in various corners of the house and who is continually neglected and ignored, but who ALWAYS shows up for the events begging for food and drinks. He was leaned against the tree where he continued to act as an annoying solicitor. I should put him outside the front door with a sign on the front of him that reads, No Flyers Please and Stop Staring at Me! Either Move On or Are You Done With That? She even had the music portion of the party covered by bringing out the guitar. This instrument is usually used for standing on or acts as a pretend bridge as the Wee Ladies slide themselves down the neck as if they were carefully walking along the edge of a cliff. We made up songs all campfire like and considering the guitar has never been tuned, nor do I know how to do that, I'm surprised the coyotes didn't jump out of the woods covering their ears and yelping at us and then running away with their tails between their legs. We have the blue cups full of ice water and lemon, at the request of the hostess, EvieG. Details, details. I'm almost disappointed that she forgot the edible pansies and mint. The white stuff in the fruit bowl? The evidence of the ice cream sandwiches. I went inside when she wasn't looking and polished off the remaining sandwich.

She was so proud that she got this whole thing set up for us. I was proud too. We had good chats, cuddles, and lay side by side on the blanket staring up into the leaves above. We were bonding.

Our view through the eyes of EvieG:

She's a photographer too.

It is times like these that make me happiest. And it is times like these that we will remember forever. I am so glad that I am able to share these days with her. It makes any other stresses in life seem so trivial.

I think I will take the guitar to the music store in town and get it tuned. Because I suspect next time, EvieG will start belting out Bob Dylan tunes. And then she will pull the Smores out from behind her. Followed by a five course meal. And a string quartet to serenade us. She will clap her hands twice and either she will be sporting a new princess gown, or all of the lights will go off. And the soliciting teddy bear will suddenly come to life and eat all of my ice cream sandwiches and belch in my face.

All's I'm sayin's all.

PS Click here to enter the Huggies Pure and Natural diapers giveaway!

PPS Click here to check out my new reviews!

New Reviews

2009-05-23T15:03:00.002-04:00

I have posted 8 new reviews today. So head on over to DDM's Try Ons to check them out. Or just CLICK HERE.

I am also working on a couple more and will let you know when they are up.

I hope you are enjoying your weekend!

All's I'm sayin's all.

Dueling Howlers: The Bedtime Saga

2009-05-22T11:37:00.006-04:00

Breaking bad toddler habits. Is there any better way to spend 3 hours during a power outage? This is what I did solo last night. I pulled a Supernanny, brought the hammer down, and worked on getting Spark Plug and The Destroyer to bed at the same time and in the same room. This was not easy.

Some background: When Spark Plug was born, we jumped at every whimper so as to not wake up EvieG. This has contributed to her whininess and fit-throwing because when she works her noisy magic, we have usually responded. It is true. We have made her into this attention-seeking-I-will-get-my-way wee lady. What would Supernanny Jo say to me? She would stare at me over her glasses and tell me with her English accent that I have allowed my child to run the show.

Well, the train stops here people. I was my own episode of Supernanny last night. I have been on my own a lot these days as Hubby works and works and works. This is fine, but I have had very little time to myself. I have had to cancel kickboxing twice now because of Hubby's work schedule and am a hairy beast who is in desperate need of a solid bikini and brow wax. I have had some beers by myself. Especially last night.

I decided I am going to put Spark Plug and The Destroyer to bed at the same time and in the same room. I am working to keep them in their beds. Usually, Spark Plug will throw a fit and yell, "I don't like my bed! I don't like my room!" She cries and carries on and last night they were both making some noise. They were howling. They sounded like dying animals. They tried to outdo one another in their screeching and wailing. It would subside. I would hear the odd giggle. I would see light from the crack under the door. This was a huge production. They would open the door and peek out as they cried. It was hot yesterday and so the windows were open. But for some odd reason, our neighbour's windows were all closed!

What did I do?

For an hour and a half, in between slugs of beer, I would go in. Without uttering a word, I would put them into their beds and walk out. They would get really angry because I didn't give them any attention. The screaming would get louder for a few minutes and then I would hear, "I don't like my pillow! I want mommy's bed!" and "Daddy! I want my Daddy!"

Keep going, honey. Daddy's not here. You have got me. I-Am-Mom. Like Will smith in I-Am-Robot, I was part machine. I could have easily given in, like I have many times before. But there was something about being alone in a blackout that gave me the strength to stick to my guns. An-hour-and-a-half of wailing.

They say the first night is the worst when breaking habits. Let's hope. Each night should get easier.

All of a sudden, The Destroyer gave up and fell asleep at about 8:45. Where was EvieG? In her room colouring and writing her first book. It's called, My Family. For real. And it wasn't about the hollering.

Then, at 9:10 it stopped. Spark Plug finally gave up. One second she was crying, the next was silence. And then Hubby drove in.

She heard the vehicle and started up again. I ushered him outside into the back so she couldn't hear him. After 10 more minutes, the madness ended again. In an instant. And then a firecracker went off. And off she went again for a few more minutes until again there was silence.

As I said, and it is worth one more mention, after an hour and a half later and a couple of beers, I won. I left her in her horrible, horrible bed (Pottery Barn sheets, quilt, and soft blankets) and she proceeded to sleep all night. She wore herself out. And she was defeated.

She is perfectly fine today.

I told Hubby my plan. Which makes it his plan too. We will do it again tonight, starting at 8:00. And we will continue to do it until they can go to bed in the same room together without issues.

Because if I am going to be on my own a lot, I am not going to let them prolong their bedtime in a bed of their choice. Anymore.

Mommy has spoken. And that is the last word.

All's I'm sayin's all.

PS Check out the post below and CLICK HERE to enter to win some free Huggies Pure and Natural diapers! If you don't have a wee baby, enter for someone you know!

PPS I will be working on reviews and more blogs over the weekend. I have barely had time to breathe with the Wee Ladies running circles around me and Hubby gone a lot of the time lately. Thanks for sticking by me in this.

PPPS Have a good weekend! EvieG starts soccer tomorrow. She has never played in her life. This should be hilarious. She is playing Timbits soccer. Just when I thought I was free of Timbits, EvieG has to go and play soccer with a shirt that reads Timbits.... Argh. How many parents will bring Timbits and coffee every Saturday morning to watch the games? I am screwed.

Huggies Pure and Natural Diaper Giveaway!

2009-05-20T21:09:00.006-04:00

Huggies is giving away some free diapers! CLICK HERE to submit your name and email and I will pick the winner next Friday, May 29. The winner can choose either Newborn size, Size 1, or Size 2. They will fit up to 18 lbs. These are the only sizes available so far.

Huggies Pure and Natural diapers feature a breathable outer cover that includes organic cotton and is resourced from 20% post-consumer recycled materials. They are hypoallergenic, fragrance free, and the liner includes a touch of Aloe and Vitamin E.

This product is geared to moms who are interested in using products that include natural and organic materials. They will eventually be available up to Size 5.

Enter to win! Enter to win! Send me your contact info! If your kids are out of the Newborn to Size 2, enter for a friend or someone you know!

All's I'm sayin's all.

Hitting the high note

2009-05-19T21:10:00.007-04:00

The sounds I hear in one given day are meshed together to make the 'Day in the Life of DDM Opera' because it always includes my soprano, open-mouthed, AHHHHHHHHH! as the climax.
Today my opera featured many sounds that would drive any mom to a cry-out in frustration, confusion, and exhaustion. We had a nice blend of:

- the cell phone ring (Europe's Final Countdown is my ring tone- yes, it's true. And classic. It turns heads.)
- the van's alarm beeping in harmony
- the Wee Ladies yelling to drown out the car alarm while covering their ears
- the underlying whispers of passers-by who talk about and review my opera
- my own sneezing and sniffling as I fight seasonal allergies
- the Barenaked Ladies Snack Time album on repeat
- Basil, our Wee Westie barking in the passenger seat to drown out the car alarm
- the motorcycle cruising by the van
- the lady I am talking to repeatedly asking me the same questions that I am not answering because of the noises of my daily opera

By the end, when I, the keynote character, cannot take it anymore and need it all to stop, screech a soprano pitch that could rank alongside the best of the best opera singers. My piercing high note could break windows.

I wouldn't want that. Because then the car alarm would go off again. And then all of the other car alarms around us.

Who wants front row seats to this spectacular production? It truly is a show worth witnessing. The matinees aren't as exciting. I suggest catching the late show when I am at my wit's end. The high note is usually a real doozy at this point in the day.

All's I'm sayin's all.

Conquering my fear of flying from the ground

2009-05-15T12:50:00.005-04:00

The Wee Ladies and I are making a habit of heading out to our local airport. I have issues with flying; a love-hate relationship if you will. I want to get past my fear. So I take everyone out to watch the flight training and grab a coffee. Hopefully, I won't be so scared to fly. If I ever get to go anywhere again. Ever.

I used to LOVE flying. I would get myself into my seat, buckle in, and watch everything. I had to have a window seat. If I didn't get one, I would talk someone into trading with me. Sometimes, I even fell asleep before taking off. I was that comfortable.

But then it all changed. I became a mom. I am now very aware of my own mortality.

Slowly over the years, I have become more and more cautious of flying. I don't like the fact that I have no idea who I have trusted my life with. I require a shot or two before take off. I listen for any sounds that don't seem right. I watch the flight attendants carefully for changes in behaviour and expression. I study my surroundings. I know where the exits are. I strategically plan where I sit based on the probability of coming out alive in the event of a crash. I hate flying.

It is the ascent and descent that I especially hate because those are the times during a flight when most things could go wrong. I have every possible scenario swirling around in my head. I become a nervous wreck. I twitch and fidget in my seat. I have lines appear all over my face. I am asked by the flight attendants if I feel alright. Every flight I take, which is few and far between, I move closer to Valium.

The problem is that I LOVE to travel and I dream about all the places I want to go with the Wee Ladies all the time. I dream about where we can go and what we can do. I never plan the actual travel part.

If I want to travel, I will have to fly. So I must get over this fear of flying before my next trip. When is my next trip? That has yet to be determined. There is no set date. But I figure I better get on this whole flying issue before the next trip gets here.

And so it has begun. I am rebuilding my relationship with the plane. We went out to the airport this morning. I watched someone in training who was practicing their take off and landing. Every few minutes the plane landed and immediately took off again. We also watched helicopter pilots in training. One guy was on his cross country solo trip today. And then I saw something that made me feel somewhat okay about the whole flying thing. A 75 year old man take off in his self-made plane that is powered by a Subaru motor. He was alone. He was incredible. He made it look so easy. He fueled up, sat and watched a couple planes take off, started his engines, taxied out, and took off. Just like that. I was amazed by his comfort. I wondered if he was a veteran. The fact that he can get into something he built himself, using a car motor, and feel okay about it, made me think that I am likely going to be safe and sound on my next flight. His chances of crashing are far greater than mine would be by the looks of his plane. He was perfectly confident.

The Wee Ladies are obsessed with the planes. They even go into the terminal and sit down on the leather couches to read plane magazines. They sat for about an hour this morning watching all of the local air action. Ten bucks says as soon as The Destroyer is old enough, she is going to want to be up in the sky doing air stunts. I wouldn't be surprised.

Both of my brothers have their pilot's license. I have been flying with both of them. I thought I was a step away from the Marble Orchard. They got me to the ground safely and were happy I kept the barf bags empty.

I am one visit closer to getting over my fear of flying. I figure if I get to know the airport staff and pilots in training, have a few conversations, and maybe even take a couple trips into the clouds with one of the local pilots, I will be good to go.

Would I ever feel safe enough to get my pilot's license? If my brothers can do it, I can too. Maybe if I was the one in control, I would be just fine. I might even like it again...

For now I will love and hate flying from the ground.

All's I'm sayin's all.

PS It is May 2-4 here this weekend! Being the long weekend, I will be back next Tuesday. Have a great weekend and thanks for reading!

She may not appear smooth but she sure is slick

2009-05-13T20:51:00.008-04:00

How can I save household energy when The Destroyer insists on destroying herself along with a few outfits a day? I am constantly washing her and her stuff.

When we go to the park, we are guaranteed to come home with sand and dirt everywhere. Clothes turn a nice shade of brown, socks are soaked and full of grit, and hair is dropping grains of sand on my floors. The bathtub at the end of the day is a true sight to see. Who needs Borax when you have The Destroyer?

We went to the park at my mom's over the weekend. Not only did The Destroyer have to sop up the standing water at the bottom of every slide, and there were about 6 different ones, but she had to roll around in the dirt as well. After going down the slides head first. She left there with her pants to her ankles, covered in brown stains. My mom tried to get it all out, but no such luck.

Today we took a walk along the beach at the park before playing on the equipment. I thought about bringing extra shoes and clothes, but as usual, I forgot. At least I remembered sun hats and water. The Destroyer threw every rock she could find into the bay but could only get some acceptable, solid distance if she stepped into the water. In between running through the patches of standing water. She entered the park this morning with two full soakers. If there is water, she will find it and she will make her own homemade water park.

This kid is going to take her socks and shoes off one day only to reveal the first signs of trench foot.

Her feet smell. She is not a fan of socks and pulls them off whenever the opportunity presents itself. She tends to run around with her bare feet inside her non-breathable rubber boots. I am going to have to start pouring Gold Bond down into those puppies because man! Do they ever wreak! Like adult bad on the stench scale. She has blisters on both ankles too from the rubbing inside her boots.

She could care less, this kid. She bonks her head on the bars, gets 1 cm slivers on her feet and doesn't flinch, and runs around with sand in her butt. She eats dirt and picks up her soother from the ground, wipes it off herself, and pops it back into her mouth.

She is all smiles and laughs the entire time.

Last week, we were all calling her Slick. We got to the park late and she looked like she hadn't been bathed in 3 months. Her hair was chunky and greasy. It was glued onto her scalp like she was gelling for the first time before heading out to her first big party. Slick decided to smear her entire face and head with Vaseline while I was getting dressed. I found her with a tablespoon of petroleum jelly on her soother, her hand caked like a layer of Paraffin wax, and her hair totally styled. Fantastic. After 3 washes, I decided to forget it and take them all to the park 'as is'. She was a smashing hit. We would have been there sooner if it weren't for that darned kid.

The Destroyer leaves a wake behind her wherever she goes. She is blazing her own trails.

I knew she would require bleach. I just didn't think I would need to clean up her mess with degreaser too.

All's I'm sayin's all.

Read it and weep

2009-05-11T20:39:00.005-04:00

EvieG, The Destroyer, and I spent the weekend at my Mom's. Hubby and Spark Plug stayed with his parents who live a half hour away. We all had a grand time, especially EvieG. She discovered Grandma's basement and all of the classic contents within. We did not come home empty-handed.

She could have stayed down there all day exploring. One day she will, when she is old enough to be trusted not to get into Grandpa's fix-it chemicals and stuff, or get into the pickled beets from the mid-90's. She played on fitness equipment; the old exercise bike from the mid-70's, the non-motorized-fall-down-from-a-coronary-treadmill from the early 80's, and I think she even found evidence of the old silver Christmas tree from the 60's. We have every decade covered down in the basement.
We found a box of old books that I read as a kid. We came upon our collection of Dr. Suess and P.D. Eastman books, among other titles, but these were the books that my Mom bought us through Time Life or something. She bought the set and got the free Cat in the Hat book ends to go with it.
When my younger brother was about 8 or 9, he ran his own personal library. I had to take our family books out of his library to read. Each book still has its own homemade library sign-out card in the front cover. He was telling me on the weekend that I owe him thousands in late fees. Plus interest. I told him that he still owed me from his chocolate pudding with whipped cream tab that he racked up at the restaurant I had set up among the couch cushions.

We brought a box of books home for EvieG to tackle. And tackle she did. Tonight she ploughed through 64 pages of the classic, Go, Dog. Go! by P.D. Eastman from 1961. All.By.Herself. She loved it. I giggled my way though it as I reintroduced myself to the lovely pink poodle who vied for the hound's attention with her many smashing hats. Finally, at the end, during the dog party, did he notice the statement on her head. They ended up going home together. I'm sure it was the booze talking. Happy endings.

EvieG loved this book and she was so proud of herself for getting through such a long book independently. It was an easy level for her, but the confidence increased by 10 fold. She also read through 64 pages of 1963's Hop on Pop, by Dr. Suess, which she thought was totally easy, but great nonetheless.
This was an exciting feat for EvieG tonight. I told her about how I used to to take these books into my room and practice reading them over and over. I told her that this is how I learned to read. She thought that was something else and I suspect she will be doing the same thing soon as she dives further into our gently used collection of classics. I will have to remind her that Uncle Paul requires her to sign them out first- date and name in full. She will be the first one to sign one of these books out since August, 1986.

She is going through a phase right now where she is becoming extremely interested in how I grew up and how we all fit together as a family. She is also becoming more emotional and nostalgic, which is neat to watch.

We were watching Wall-E last night, for the 104th time. It got to the part where Eve and Wall-E were holding hands. She looked up at me with big, misty eyes and said, "I think I just might cry." I asked, "Why, Honey?" She replied, "Because I really like happy endings, Mom."

I wonder if she will well up while reading, Are You My Mother? By P.D. Eastman. Or once she reads Go, Dog. Go! again, will she realize the dogs lived happily ever after.

At least they do for a night.

All's I'm sayin's all.

Happy Mudder's Day

2009-05-07T20:51:00.003-04:00

Here we are, another year later, with Mother's Day upon us. I went back into the archives and read what I posted last year. My sentiments are unchanged. You can click here to read it. After all we have been through in our family in the last year with our move, I have realized that the Wee Ladies are just as happy as they were the year before. It is our love and consistency that keeps them so secure.

I have reached a new place in my role as a mom. I have always loved being home with the Wee Ladies. That was my choice and we have made sacrifices in other areas of life to accommodate that decision. I have reached a new level of calm. I am not so anxious anymore about making sure everything gets done, that I need to have my 'away' time. I am really embracing the Wee Ladies and the time we are sharing together. I keep telling myself that this time in life is so fleeting and that they will be grown up in no time. I am loving the time that they want to spend with me because I know that won't last forever.

We are busier now than we have been in a long time. We are out and about more, visiting more, playing more. We are having a ball with each other.

I hope that we continue to stay close and over the years I will stress the importance of having an open and loving relationship. I tell them about a million times a day that I love them. I am very affectionate with them and they are in return. They are with each other- most days. It is so amazing to see them cuddle and hug one another. I will always encourage that open and honest expression. I am like that with my own mom. We have always told each other how much we love one another, whether it is verbal, or in a card.

Moms need to know they are loved.

I hope you have a wonderful Mother's Day this year. I hope you enjoy your day with your children and your own mothers. I hope you get a great gift from your kids. EvieG gave me a calendar today. Each month has her hand prints worked into a seasonal picture. It is perfect. Spark Plug gave me her picture in a pretty bucket with special stones. The Destroyer gave me a cute little craft she made. I will always cherish these gifts.

Time goes by so quickly. I hope that we all can enjoy each other this Mother's Day and take the opportunity to really express our love for our mothers and families. Life is too short not to spend some special time with those closest to us; our mothers. Even if it's on the phone from a far distance.

Happy Mudder's Day, 2009!

Here is this year's poem from an Ann Lander's column from 1987:

"The Time Is Now"

If you are ever going to love me,/Love me now, while I can know/The sweet and tender feelings/Which from true affection flow.

Love me now/While I am living/Do not wait until I'm gone/And then have it chiseled in marble,/Sweet words on ice-cold stone.

If you have tender thoughts of me,/Please tell me now./If you wait until I am sleeping,/Never to awaken,/There will be death between us,/And I won't hear you then.

So, if you love me, even a little bit,/Let me know it while I am living/So I can treasure it.

All's I'm sayin's all.

PS We are going away tomorrow to spend some time with our mothers and grandmothers. I will be back next week! Thanks for reading!

It's all about their planned and perfect timing

2009-05-05T21:14:00.010-04:00

Someone tell me- why is that whenever I go out anywhere, one of my kids always has to do a number? Or cause a commotion, or break something, or just become completely uncontrollable? Tell me. Please. Because I don't get it.

My Wee Ladies are always getting up to some kind of mischief when we go out anywhere. They rearrange things on the shelves at the store, drop stuff, or even crawl around on a filthy floor. The inevitable practice? Stinking up the immediate environment. Always.

EvieG had her final Sparks dinner last night. Hubby had a dinner engagement with his colleagues, which meant I had to take the entire entourage with me. To a sit down dinner. Ugh. Sparks happens in the church basement and we weren't there five minutes when we were shown the way to the door. Not the way out of the building thankfully, but the way to the church playroom. Yay us. We had to keep Spark Plug and The Destroyer contained somewhere.

I managed to get one plate of buns and cheese. I make healthy choices for my kids. This plate of food was dinner number 2. Our first dinner happened at McDonald's at our regular eating time. Healthy choices. The second dinner happened an hour and a half later. So really it was more of a healthy snack. Followed by cake. One plate, four people- the Wee Ladies and I. The Destroyer was in my lap as I held her down with all my might, Spark Plug was at my side, and EvieG across the table using a knife to butter her bun. One plate was all I could manage as I held onto The Destroyer for dear life as she squirmed like I was the jaws of life clenched around her. There was no way I was letting the drink cart fall over on my watch. Sparkle was kind enough to provide us with a couple of more plates.

The night went on and we made it through without any major catastrophes. There were a few laps around the room, but for the most part we came, ate, and returned to our room of 4 heaven-painted walls.

Then it was time for the ceremony. The presentation where 2nd year Sparks move up to Brownies and where the girls get some badges. This meant it was time for both Spark Plug and The Destroyer to unleash the depths of their bowels. Almost simultaneously. Why, I ask? Why is the timing so utterly perfect?

Poor EvieG had to hang on without me for a few minutes during my search for a clean floor to change, stink, bathroom, running out of toilet paper, washing of the hands, getting the bag as far away from the crowd as possible mission. We didn't miss anything with her, thank goodness. But man! Heads kept turning our way as I sat down, got up, exited, returned, took a bite, exited, came back in, slugged some water, and wiped away the beads of sweat, only to leave again. For good- three Wee Ladies in tow. Well, 2 actually, and 1 under my arm like a football.

Exhaustion.

One of my friends was there to help me by watching one while I changed the other. Sparkle did her best to help too. We weren't completely alone, although it felt like it. This is a new level of tired, situations like these. When you are out and watching everyone at the same time, it completely drains you. Especially when you are being watched by everyone else. You want to keep the kids somewhat calm, but it doesn't always work like that. People are generally supportive, but it still doesn't change the fact that you are in a space where things are set up; there is a certain structure. And you sure as heck don't want your kids to be the ones to screw it all up.

We got home and I got them to bed as fast as I could. Only to sit down, gulp down half a glass of wine, and go to bed.

How about getting up in a few hours and subjecting yourself to more testing of your psychological and emotional stability? Only if I can be fed some serious caffeine directly into my veins first.

All's I'm sayin's all.

PS Who's DDM should be up tomorrow some time! Keep checking back!

PPS My Scarlett Lounge column is up too! Feel free to check it out too!

Preparing me for the big question

2009-05-04T12:25:00.004-04:00

Our family likes to discuss things in the van. When we drive we are contained with no where to run. We ask questions, come up with ideas, talk, and occasionally break into song. We have our most serious talks while on the road. When the Wee Ladies are wondering, they can wonder out loud in the van knowing they will be answered. There is no 'hang on a minute' in the van. So it seems appropriate that they ask the heavy questions in the van. I have no where to hide. I have to answer. And so I did.

On Friday as we were cruising along, EvieG decided to fire the questions at me like I was in the middle of a smelly, adolescent filled gym class playing dodge ball; sweaty intermediate kids running at and around me, pelting me with a big, red rubber ball that stank like hot glue. Only in the van my newly coloured brown hair with caramel highlights was being stared at with 6 blue eyes as they awaited my response. 2 of those eyes were begging for a snack and nothing more.

EvieG: Mom, when can I drive a car?

DDM: When you are 16 years old. Right now you are only 5. First you have to be 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, and then 16. That is when you can drive. And it will be a while yet, right? That is a lot of numbers to still go through.

EvieG: But Mom, why do I have to wait until I am 16?

DDM: Because that is the law. That is the rule. You don't have to be 16. You can wait even longer if you want.

EvieG: Mom, I can't wait to drive and then be a mommy too. I am going to have my own babies. I am going to have a boy and a girl. I am going to name them Max and Megan. Then you can be a grandma, like Grandma and Goo Goog!

(I thought she was going to say Max and Ruby and then I would have, for a fleeting moment, thought we watch too much TV)

DDM: That's nice, but I am not ready to be a grandma and you have a lot of time until that stuff happens. I think I want to work on being a mom for a while first. And why don't you just enjoy being a kid for a while? Being a kid is so fun. You can play all day, sleep whenever you want, and go to school. There is so much to do! Being your mom is lots of fun, but it is busy. When you are a kid, you don't have to worry about laundry, making meals, cleaning dishes, and making sure everyone is looked after! I have a lot more things to think about. Like paying bills. You don't have to worry about that stuff yet. So just enjoy being as kid so I can enjoy being your mom. Sound good?

EvieG: Ok. (long pause) Mom, how does a baby come out?

DDM: Stare at road in front, flashbacks of pain, the crowning, and screaming, mind swirling, take a sip of coffee, think how the heck do I respond? What? What? What did she just ask? Well..... hmmmm. How do you think a baby comes out?

EvieG: I don't know!

DDM: Do I? Don't I? Do I say? Medical version? Too young. Description? Make it simple. Really tell? Nope. LIIIIIEEEEE. I lie about all of the holiday characters. I can lie about this too. I WILL NOT feel guilty. LIE!!!

Well, hmmmmm... you know how we have a belly button on our tummy?

EvieG: You press it! And the baby comes out?

DDM: Ok, sure! POP! (laughter erupts) How about some lunch?

I just easily bought myself 3 more years with that one. And yes, I am already thinking about how I will respond to, "Mom, how does a baby get in to your tummy?"

All's I'm sayin's all.

PS Head on over to Scarlett Lounge to check out my May column! It's up!

Paper Bouquets for Mother's Day

2009-04-30T20:12:00.004-04:00

For Scarlett Lounge, I am posting a simple and fun project moms can do with few supplies and little time. Making a paper bouquet is an easy craft wee ones can do with a little guidance. Here's how:

Materials:

- multi-coloured construction paper

- pipe cleaners

- ribbon

- a vase

- Optional: glue and tissue paper

Steps:

1. Draw flower shapes on various colours of construction paper. Spring colours are ideal.

2. Cut out the shapes.

3. Draw and cut out green leaf shapes from construction paper.

4. Using clear Scotch Tape, tape the flowers and leaves to the pipe cleaners.

5. Bunch the flowers together in a bouquet and wrap some ribbon around them.

6. Present them to that special lady for Mother's Day or give your child a big hug of thanks and put them in a nice vase for all to enjoy.

You can make 3-D flowers too. For daffodils, you can cut out and glue or tape the petals together. Then you cut out a small, rectangular piece of yellow construction paper and tape it into a tube shape. Cut small slits around the tube shape, fold the paper back and tape it to the petals. There you have a 3-D daffodil and you can still tape it to a pipe cleaner!

Try using tissue paper as the center of a flower for added texture. Or cut out an oval shape and glue pieces of tissue paper on to make a hyacinth.

You can layer the paper in ways to give the flower a real multi-petal look.

Have fun exploring ways to make different flowers and creating a true original bouquet that will definitely reflect the personality of the child making it!

Click here for more Mother's Day ideas.

All's I'm sayin's all.

PS There was a fantastic 3-D suggestion in the comments to colour and use cardboard egg cartons. Poke the pipe cleaner through the bottom of the carton. Thanks for that!

The Power of Perception

2009-04-28T21:37:00.003-04:00

When it comes to the safety and well being of our children, we parents are usually willing to pay a premium for quality products, especially ones that are natural and toxin-free. I become frustrated when I learn that products that I perceive to be good quality are not what they seem to be. I get mad at myself for relying on assumption.

I do not buy everything North American. That seems pretty much impossible nowadays. You can buy great quality products from around the world. When it comes to the premium, 'natural' products that I wish to have for the Wee Ladies, I like to align myself with companies that are proud and passionate and honest about how and where their products are produced. I also like to support companies who are marketing themselves as the trusty, valued 'mom and pop shops' who are manufacturing at home, employing locals, and using North American quality materials. I love supporting anything Made in Canada or the US.

A friend of mine showed me a painted wooden toy from Melissa and Doug's Cutting Fruit set. The paint has chipped around the edges of the toy. They got it at Christmas for their three girls, ages, 6, 3, and almost 1 to play with. After 4 months of use, they were not expecting to see this level of wear on the toy. Take a look-

You obviously would not want your babies ingesting that.

I decided to hop onto the Melissa and Doug website to check it out. I read that they began their business 20 years ago in Doug's garage. They started making products by hand and so were the typical, small family business. Eventually, they were able to move down the road and acquire both men and women's bathrooms. From here I understand that they continued to move across town, the state, and country, only to end up in China! This old 'mom and pop shop' moved overseas to produce their products, not for an increase in safety or quality, but for profitability.

I made the mistake in perceiving this company to be all North American. And by reading their website, there is nothing to lead me to believe otherwise. They communicate their passion for quality products and for over-the-top customer satisfaction. They want us to know that they adhere to all safety regulations and that their "toys meet or exceed government recommendations limiting heavy metals and lead in children's items." They also encourage their customers to communicate with them so they can strive to do better. They seem proud. So proud that they put their own name on the label. But they manufacture in China.

I believe companies make the move overseas for profit. North American engineers can design products and tell the manufacturers exactly what they want and how they want things done. China can make whatever American companies want. They can make lots very cheaply. They can make lots of money.

I am disappointed that a company of this calibre makes their so-called quality wooden toys in China, especially when they are communicating the importance of the Melissa and Doug family. They are charging a premium price for these toys, which makes me believe that I am paying for a product that is made by the American family who got it all started by wanting to make a safe and 'natural' product of the highest quality.

The power of perception is strong. I am disappointed in myself for not looking closer at this company because we own a few of their products. I assumed that this company was natural and North American made. My perception of these pricey products and their 'ties to home' got me. The prices told me that I was supporting homemade products and I am willing to pay the higher price for such items.

It just goes to show that our perceptions of some of these companies can be incorrect; that we are not looking hard enough at the whats and wheres. I feel like I have been let-down; that I was trying to make the right decision to buy quality items that are good for my kids. We rely on the word of a company who prides itself on making quality products. But are they really good quality? We can only rely on ourselves.

All's I'm sayin's all.

She got several luxury cars for her second birthday

2009-04-27T13:09:00.004-04:00

The Destroyer is now a proud owner of a few new vehicles and therefore that means me too. I can say that for real I bought several luxury cars last week to give my baby of the family for her 2nd birthday. Who says that the babies of the family are spoiled rotten? Cars at 2? Oh, yes indeed. And nice ones. Happy birthday to The Destroyer! We have been cruising since Saturday.

We already own a few classic cars from the 70's and 80's. We also have one Barbie convertible, thanks to Uncle Jeff. He thought it was a necessity in a house containing three Wee Ladies. But we decided to modernize our car collection. And so I went and purchased at full price a black Mercedes Benz CLS 500, a shiny yellow Range Rover Sport, a gold Lexus sedan, a royal blue Audi station wagon, and a SWAT van. With the antics of the Wee Ladies I thought it imperative to have my own built in SWAT team.

Along with the new cars, I decided the purchases would not be complete without buying a full functioning Service Station to accommodate the needs of these beauties. So we have a Service Center that is open for business 24 hours a day. The cars can be washed, fueled, and repaired. It comes complete with garbage and recycling bins for the Timbits and their boxes.

The Destroyer is in heaven. We celebrated her second birthday in style. Not only did she get all of these cars to play with, but she also got a truck shaped cake. And she blew out the candles like nobody's business. She didn't need any help; she was on a mission to cruise around and show off her new wheels. What a kid.

Grandma and Grandpa were here to witness this first hand. And she did a great job putting on some serious mileage. She travelled around the perimeter of the table, along the top of the couch, and all across the entire bottom floor of our house.

If we continue to accumulate luxury cars, we are going to have to buy the classic Fisher Price Parking Garage to house them all. The one with the elevator.
If it has been a dream to buy that Range Rover or BMW or Mercedes, you can! For the cheap price of $1.87 CAN! Who knew driving these vehicles could be so cheap? Welcome to the world of Matchbox.

That's another thing off of my list of 'WANTS'. Luxury car- check.

One more case of the 'Terrible Twos'- almost a check. Note to self- buy Lincoln Navigator to avoid meltdown.

All's I'm sayin's all.

Contest Winner

2009-04-24T12:06:00.002-04:00

Thanks to everyone for entering the Yo Gabba Gabba! New Friends! DVD giveaway. Congratulations to C.N., the winner of this contest!

Keep checking back for more giveaways. And enter to win the Ultimate Girl's Day contest through Scarlett Lounge.

All's I'm sayin's all.

The Craugh (Craff)

2009-04-22T21:04:00.004-04:00

The Craugh (pronounced craff) is something we see almost on daily basis. This is the half cry, half laugh. I call them Phony Bolognas. I call their bluff. I give them no sympathy. They hate this. I just continue taunting them.

The Craugh is their way to communicate discontent and annoyance. Kind of. It is a combination of irritation and happiness because they are getting attention, but would rather the game be played according to their rules. The Craugh usually occurs when they don't get what they want or they get annoyed with me because I am teasing them. It's a whine with a giggle.

Tonight I was playing with The Destroyer on our bed. I was teasing her by tickling her toes and tummy. She was squirming to get away and I would annoyingly wrestle her to a place convenient for more tickles. She got so fed up she pulled out The Craugh. She pretended to cry but giggled simultaneously. Her eyes scrunched up, her nose wrinkled, and she wailed a laughy wail. She achieved one thing- her noise got me to stop and assess the situation. I looked at her intently. I listened and watched her for a second until I decided she was indeed a Phony Bologna. She looked at me and her frown turned itself upside down as she began to laugh.

I shook my head and smiled at her, calling her bluff, at which time I resumed my tickles. I wasn't going to let her win this one. I wasn't going to let The Craugh win this battle. When her laugh turned to a genuine get-out-of-my-face-now whine, I stopped. I let her go. She was officially satisfied with the attention and was done.

The Craugh comes out when the Wee Ladies are playing together. It is a good way to place blame on a sibling, even when nothing major has happened. The one being picked on reaches a point where they are not enjoying the direction of the playing and wants out and so launches The Craugh In Stereo. The head gets tossed back, the mouth opened wide to maximize Craugh volume. Sometimes even a fake tear falls down a cheek or two.

I say it's a cop out. The Craugh is a way to efficiently and quickly eject themselves from a situation that is not going the way they want. They use this strategy when they see fit.

This moodiness can be amazing; the control they have over how they portray their emotions. They can turn on the tears when they want and turn them off. They can change a cry to a belly laugh in mere milliseconds.

I wish I could do that. Instead, my own personal Craugh is dictated by cyclical hormone fluctuation.

All's I'm sayin's all.

PS Enter your name and e-mail to win the Yo Gabba Gabba! New Friends DVD!

PPS Enter to win the Ultimate Girl's Day! See yesterday's post.

Ultimate Girl's Day Contest!

2009-04-21T21:23:00.003-04:00

At Scarlett Lounge, you can enter to win the Ultimate Girl's Day! Spend a day at a spa of your choice, with your new Coach Handbag and Manolo Blahnik pumps from Browns Shoes.

All you have to do is sign up at Scarlett Lounge for a chance to win this great contest!

Click here to sign up to win!

Enter to win! Enter to win!

All's I'm sayin's all.

Spark Plug Scare

2009-04-20T13:11:00.009-04:00

Yesterday was a freaky one. Spark Plug had to be taken to the hospital and given a once-over because she woke up lethargic and out of it. It was scary and I reached an all time anxiety high.

When Spark Plug was an infant, she experienced a couple of what was described as 'petit mal' seizures. She would blank out in a total daze and after about a minute, she would come around but jerked her head a couple of times. After that she was fine. So I followed up by getting my GP to send us to a pediatrician and to a children's hospital for an EEG. Everything turned out alright and we were told that kids sometimes have these brain storms and that they usually grow out of them. That was the last that we saw of these things. Until yesterday morning.

The Destroyer and EvieG got up as usual around 7:30 am. Spark Plug got up whimpering and wandered into our room and tucked herself into our bed to continue sleeping. This is unusual for her because she is the one who opens our blinds at the crack of dawn yelling, "Get up! It's a sunny day!" But because we have been really busy outside and on the go, I thought she was just tired. So we let her sleep in a little. This sleep in went on and on. After checking on her a few times and watching her come in and out of sleep, I noticed that she was having trouble waking up. At about 8:45 am, I tried to get her going. She would not. She just wanted to lay in bed with her eyes closed. I tried sitting her up and she would just fall back. She was lethargic with no muscle resistance or movement. She was not alert and was a little out of it. I tried to get her dressed, but she was not assisting or even aware that I was putting her socks on.

We gave her some juice thinking that her blood sugar might be really low. She took the whole cup started coming around a little bit. Hubby took her into the Emerg.

By the time they got into the doctor, she had totally perked up. The doctor there seemed to think she had experienced another petit mal seizure. And that we witnessed the after effects of it, being the lethargy and confusion. I don't know. It was all so bizarre because there were no other symptoms that went with it. She didn't have a temperature or anything. She was fine the night before.

I spoke with a neurologist who suggested we follow up with a pediatric neurologist. He said he hopes she didn't have a convulsion in her sleep. He seemed to think that her lethargy was more characteristic of a convulsion. This really freaks me out. I have booked her into our GP where we can hopefully we can get a referral. We will have to get to the bottom of this weirdness.

She was fine when they got home and has been fine since. No more symptoms. I was told to watch to see if she zones out during the day. We were also told to put a monitor in our room to hear any cries out in the night or other bizarre noises. Since her room is like 4 feet away from ours, we will keep the door wide open so we can listen. Her door is usually closed.

I am scared. I am worried about what this was, what the problem is, and I am determined to get some help with it. I was talking to a girlfriend about the anxiety a mom feels when something is not right with her child. I can calmly and carefully handle a problem in a classroom of 20 kids, no problem. But when it comes to my own kids, I feel ill, anxious, and panicked when something goes wrong. It is amazing to me.

Spark Plug drew her first family portrait. It is awesome. Check it out below.

All's I'm sayin's all.

Our first contribution to the tooth castle in the sky

2009-04-16T13:10:00.010-04:00

Kind of like Care-A-Lot up in the sky, we think that the tooth fairy lives in a tooth castle, surrounded by all things teeth, somewhere in the white, fluffy clouds above. Yesterday EvieG lost her first tooth. She claims she was unaware that it was loose. Maybe so. But for me, this is another milestone for us.

EvieG was supposedly upstairs playing horsey with Spark Plug. As she was biting her coat, just like horses do, out popped one of her center bottom teeth. She came down the stairs and announced, "Look, Mom! My tooth! I lost my tooth!"

At first, I was like, what the heck is she talking about? Lost a tooth? I don't remember experiencing any tooth drama. I couldn't recall any wiggling and wobbling and tugging. I couldn't remember any discussion about loose teeth. How is this possible?

Sure enough, she gave me this wee piece of bone. I ordered, "Open your mouth... show me the spot!" She opened her mouth and I saw the bloody spot where her tooth formerly sat.

How did this happen? How did she just lose a tooth? So easily? Was it rotten? I searched for black marks. Was it broken off? Did we have to go into the dentist for an emergency check up to make sure she was going to have to get a set of dentures by the age of 6?

I called the dentist.

"Oh, hi. My 5 year old just lost a tooth and it wasn't loose. Is this normal?"

The receptionist asked me if I had the tooth because apparently kids can swallow them and never know.... she asked me to tell her what it looked like.

"It is pointy on one side and then jagged on the other. I don't see any cavities, not that I would know what one even looked like. To me, cavities are silver. I am just hoping that her teeth are not just going to start falling out randomly or that they are super-soft and going to fall out every time she plays horsey with her sister."

The receptionist told me that this is the age where the teeth start falling out. She said it sounded normal based on my description. She instructed me to wiggle the one beside it because often they fall out around the same time. But it could also be several months.

This didn't conclude anything for me. EvieG still had a tooth out and for what reason, other than her age, I did not know.

I figured that this is normal and she has just lost her first tooth. I think my reaction was one of shock because I was not prepared for my first baby to lose her teeth yet. The tooth fairy with the pocket on the front that we were going to use to put under the pillow is packed away in storage somewhere. I am not ready.

For her sake, I made a big deal about it. We celebrated and did a little jig. This is a momentous occasion and we treated it as such. I even made chocolate pudding for dessert, especially for the girl who has an open space in her mouth. We were all very excited. I took pictures and we discussed the next steps.

EvieG hid it under her pillow at bed time. We talked about the tooth fairy and her job. I asked EvieG what she thought about the tooth fairy buying her teeth off of her. I asked her what she thought the tooth fairy did with all of those teeth. We decided that she uses them to build and make art.

Following this conversation, we had to decide how much a tooth worth these days. When we were kids, we got a quarter for them. We put the money in our piggy bank. I spoke with Uncle Jeff about it. I thought it would be reasonable to give a dollar for the small ones and two dollars for the front teeth and molars. He asked what a kid can actually buy with a dollar. I said not much if you include tax. He thought two dollars could at least give them a fun buying experience. So that is what happened last night when the tooth fairy came. She took the tooth in a zip-loc bag because the nice tooth fairy tooth holder is in the depths of the crawl space and left a toonie under EvieG's pillow.

It is these moments that I realize my Wee Ladies are growing so quickly. I can't believe we have lost teeth already. I felt lots of emotions with this whole situation, from sadness to happiness. She is so proud and excited that she will get a grown-up tooth in its place.

As she came down the stairs announcing her lost tooth and holding it up with a look of pride and maturity, I had a flash forward. We will be moving quickly to the loss of more teeth and as I hear from older moms who wish they still had wee ones around, the time flies by. This I have come to realize and EvieG has only just lost one tooth. It doesn't matter. It is still going by faster than I ever thought it would. I thought to myself as we celebrated this occasion- the next thing I know, she will be coming down the stairs in her grade 8 graduation dress. Or telling me that she has her first period. I know I will never be ready for that and like this experience, I am sure it will hit me like a tonne of bricks.

And so then our consumption of soft paper products will expand to feminine products.

I am never going to be prepared for these things to happen.

All's I'm sayin's all.

PS Enter to win the new Yo Gabba Gabba! New Friends DVD! Check out 2 posts below! Go to Contact Us at DDM and submit your name and e-mail address! Do it! Do it!

She cut her own hair

2009-04-14T20:38:00.005-04:00

EvieG came upstairs last night looking a little different. At first I couldn't figure out what it was. And then it hit me. She did it. She is that kid! She cut her own hair.

I think I did it to myself at one point. Doesn't every kid? Uncle Jeff cut my baby dolly's hair when I was about 4. He convinced me that it would grow back. I still have her and it still hasn't grown back.

I had two kids in my grade 1/2 split class who cut their hair during art class. As I moved around the class, I noticed a clump of fine hair on the floor. I looked at them, my mouth hanging open as I saw a couple of chunks taken from their bang area. They sat beaming at me, sticking their tongues out at me through their missing front teeth. Another call to the parents.

And so now it is EvieG's turn. She wasn't playing hairdresser or house. And she just had a haircut last week. She had a nice cut too, with enough taken off the front.

She came into the bedroom and I asked, "What did you do to your hair? Did you cut your hair?" She replied, "Yes." Baffled, I then asked, "Why did you do that? You just took a huge chunk out of the front of your head! And now it looks funny! Go! Look for yourself!" She went into the bathroom and looked in the mirror. She was really expressionless. Nothing. No excitement that she thought it looked grand, and no real worry that it looked terrible either.

Her reasoning? She didn't want it in her eyes. BUT SHE JUST HAD A HAIRCUT! There was no hair in her eyes! At all! If she had done this before her cut, I would have genuinely understood and felt like total crap that I had neglected to get my kid's hair cut; that I had driven her to the point of where she had to take matters into her own hands. But this wasn't the case! We paid money to get this taken care of!

Here are the things that were going through my head:

- We are trying so hard to grow her hair out, now it will take that much longer.

- The teacher is going to think I am a moron.

- She looks like I am improperly supervising her. Well, maybe I was. Apparently I was. Now I have been caught. There is proof on the front of my kid's head.

- Where is the mess of cut hair? Where will I have to clean up yet another mess? In the living room? The bathroom? All over the floor? In the toilet? Would she be that neat and tidy? If I had been properly supervising her, we wouldn't be in this predicament.

- I wondered why things got so quiet.

And so she went to school today with a chunk out of her bangs. I tried to hide it as best I could, but to no avail. I along with EvieG would be the talk of the teaching staff.

After we discussed it, she said without any real concern, "Don't worry, Mom. It will grow back."

That's what she has learned from me. After I shave my under arms and lower legs, I always say to Hubby, "There, isn't that nice? Feel how smooth it is. And don't worry! It will grow back all nice and long. Just for you!"

It's all my fault.

All's I'm sayin's all.

PS Two posts today! Check out the giveaway below! Enter to win!

Yo Gabba Gabba! DVD Giveaway!

2009-04-14T20:32:00.002-04:00

I am giving away a copy of the new Yo Gabba Gabba! DVD titled, New Friends! This DVD had 4 episodes on it and retails for a suggested $16.99. The episodes are titled New Friends and features Jack Black. The second is Find, third is Greetings, and fourth is Share.

The Wee Ladies and I are regular Gabba viewers. I dig this show. It is geared to preschoolers, but I like it just as much. It is colourful, catchy, and memorable. Viewers hang out with and learn simple yet important life lessons with Gabbaland’s friendly monsters Brobee, Foofa, Muno, Toodee, and the robot, Plex. DJ Lance Rock brings these creatures to life and hosts the show by facilitating and encouraging participation, laughter, and fun through dance and interactive segments. Each episode uses repetition and original song to highlight a particular message. At the end, the lessons are reviewed through an original music remix. The music is a nostalgic mix of genres ranging from Hip Hop to rock to British Invasion. There is a definite retro feel and the combination of music, animation, and puppets remind parental viewers of their childhood past.

The Wee Ladies and I watched these 4 episodes now available on DVD. We enjoyed them all. New Friends features Jack Black, who in this episode gets lost in Gabbaland when his mini bike runs out of gas. He meets and befriends all of the Gabba characters who help him out by refueling his bike. He sings and dances and even gets his own DJ Lance jumpsuit. EvieG loves his featured Dancey Dance, and she now knows how to do his ‘Disco Roll’.

Find is an episode where the Gabba characters use their imagination to uncover things that may be different or frightening. They sing songs that encourage their learning about different animals. The classic ‘Keep Trying‘ song is sung and the Wee Ladies played Peek-a-Boo with the Gabba gang.

Greetings is an episode that focuses on manners and greeting others politely. The songs are easy to learn because they are so repetitive. The Wee Ladies and I are always singing along. Biz Markie comes on and does his Beat of the Day, which is totally fun.

Share is the last episode where the Gabba characters learn the lesson of proper sharing and communication. They learn not to take things away from others and they are encouraged to ask first if they want to play with someone else’s toy.

The Wee Ladies are always singing Gabba songs, even when the show is not on. They will all be sitting around the dinner table and if one of them doesn’t like what they are eating, the other two will break into the Keep Trying song. It is awesome.

This show is a great one for kids to learn from and enjoy. You turn it on for the great lessons it teaches, but stay for the catchy tunes and 80’s video game animation.

Here in Canada, we watch it on Treehouse TV. You can watch it on Nickelodeon in the US.

To win the copy of Yo Gabba Gabba! New Friends! go to my Contact Us section and submit your name and email address.

I will draw a name from random on Friday, April 24^th.

All’s I’m sayin’s all.

Our insane consumption of soft paper products

2009-04-09T21:04:00.006-04:00

Everywhere I turn, I find another empty box of Kleenex or roll of toilet paper. Here's the thing- we only have 2 out of the three Wee Ladies potty trained. If we are going through this much toilet paper now, what is it going to be like when they are all using the bathroom non-stop wiping, blotting, smudging, and dabbing? We are going to have to take stock out in Proctor and Gamble, who make Charmin, or one of the other huge tissue companies, like the Kimberly-Clark Corporation.

It seems like we are going through a lot of toilet paper and facial tissues. I recycle the empty rolls and I feel like I am going to be the talk of the people at our local recycling depot pretty soon. "Hey, have you seen the number of toilet paper rolls that chick goes through every week?" "I know! Did you happen to notice how many cans of beans got dumped in the bin?" Guffaw. I refuse to buy the package of 24 single rolls. I would rather have the 12 double rolls. Because then I don't look like a total TP waster. And then I feel like I am being more efficient in going through less. The opposite is probably true. I would certainly change the TP even more often with the single rolls, but with the double rolls, we are probably going through more than we think because of the illusion of having more there.

We have lost whole roles in the toilet. The Destroyer thought it would be a good idea to see what a water-logged roll looked like. I can't afford to keep losing TP and tissues. Especially when Spark Plug and The Destroyer find a box of Kleenex and then drop them downstairs to the first floor one at a time like softly falling snow. I usually try to put the unused Kleenex back into the box. I can't say the same for the toilet paper.

The Wee Ladies don't know what the term 'moderation' means yet. When they have a cold and have to blow their horn, they end up taking fistfuls of tissues for one blow. And they still manage to cover their faces and shirts with goop. And when they go to the washroom, they pull and tug and pull on the roll of toilet paper until they could easily compete with the Bounty paper towels to absorb any spill.

When they are potty training, they use the toilet paper even when they are not actually going to the bathroom. But they are actively practicing going through the entire washroom process. Complete with flush and a wave good-bye. We can't win. They know they have to use the stuff, and so they do.

We will have to introduce a new math game with them. We are going to have to play the Count-Out-the-TP-Tickets Game. We will have to teach them that they can only use a set number of TP tickets each time they use the bathroom. And what happens if they use more than the allotted number? Well, I don't know. I am just making this up as I write. Suggestions are welcome.

Plunging the toilet because it is clogged with too much TP is nothing to be proud of. The real reason for plunging? Well now, that is a different story!

All's I'm sayin's all.

PS Happy Easter! I hope everyone enjoys the holiday. We are guaranteed to go overboard in chocolate but I am cool with that. I will be back next Tuesday.

New Reviews

2009-04-07T13:37:00.002-04:00

I have posted some new reviews in DDM's Try Ons section. You can head on over to check them out. I will be posting a few more and will keep you updated.

I will also keep you posted on our next giveaway which will be happening soon.

Who's DDM? for April should be up today.

All's I'm sayin's all.

A stranger nicely told me that I am a nag

2009-04-06T21:18:00.005-04:00

I was at the doctor's office today when a stranger pointed something out to me that all moms do. Something that we don't always realize we are doing. We are giving orders, and the same orders, on repeat. Even after the child has followed the given directions, we still give the orders.

Today's scenario- I was getting the Wee Ladies dressed to leave the office. I asked Spark Plug to come over to me to get her coat on. She did just that. As she was standing right in front of me, practically on my toes, I said, "Please come here and get your coat on!"

The lady sitting beside us blurted, "But she is 'here'. She is standing right there in front of you!" And she laughed. She proceeded to tell me about all the times she used to say the same things to her daughters. Things like, "Come here, Julie! We need to go now!" Her other daughter would say, "Mom, Julie is right in front of you. You don't need to keep telling her to come over there. She is there!"

It is like telling EvieG to buckle up in the car 40 million times before I put The Guzzler in drive. She buckled up after the 5th time I asked. I-am-on-autopilot. I get into the groove with a mission in mind to get the Wee Ladies organized and prepared for departure or asking them to get things done. And they get so annoyed with the record-repeat.

We will be walking and I will state in multiple layers, one after the other, "Come on! Stay with Mommy! Hey! Hurry on! Come on!....." and over again, in that order. And they are with me. In fact, they are only about two steps away from me. What do I think they are going to do if I turn off the repeat-mode? Run out onto the street in front of a bus? Jump into the fast flowing stream to our left? Really, I mean is it that necessary for me to be repeating myself like I have completely lost my mind and need to use my outer-monologue for fear of losing my train of thought or the task at hand?

The classic for me is the old, "Come on! Get dressed! You have school! Are you getting dressed?" This drives EvieG nuts. "Moooommmm! I am!" she will moan. It is like I think my power-pellet-repeat is going to get her to dress faster. In fact, I think it does the opposite. It distracts her and irritates her to the point of where my 5 year old is rolling her eyes at me.

I think the stranger in the doctor's office did her good deed for the day. She made me realize that I am in such a pattern of repeating myself that I don't even hear what I am saying anymore. She totally called me on it. And not in a snitty way. In a humourous way because we had a good chuckle about all the things we say but don't hear.

I am going to try and listen a little better.

I wonder how many times I say, "Shhhhhhhh!" in a day. Maybe I should start a tally. Just like I did with how many times I said, "Just a minute!"

All's I'm sayin's all.